Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxiety. Show all posts

Tuesday, 15 November 2022

#BlogLife396 - Magical disappearances

Sometimes I feel like magical creatures live in my room but they only like odd non pairings. Just one of each item.

Like my lens which seemingly go in the case and then disappear into Narnia land.

Or 1 sock out of a set that cannot be located at all, even though they were washed together.

I can't find a single matching set, wait just found one actually. But I might just throw away all the odd ones as they are different sizes and textures and get some new ones in the market.

I forgot to mention that me and mama sorta touched on Christmas she enquired whether I was coming on Christmas Eve and I said..

It depends who else will be there? She said the younger one isn't staying just popping in, which is not ideal but somewhat tolerable.

But that the older might just randomly pop down which the two of them together is a big NO NO!!

I love how vague she is, so I just said if he's there, I won't be. She quickly said Oh don't worry, he won't be staying here, which is not the bloody point!

I want nothing whatsoever to do with any of them but during the holidays, it's tricky.

We will revisit this conversation because if there's a chance of him being there... I shall not be attending.

She doesn't get it at all. Imagine surrounding yourself with people that can pick a fight and turn aggressive within seconds and the mood is directed at you....

No thank you. I would happily celebrate the holidays by myself, than deal with my childhood traumas again!!

Why should I be scared for Christmas??

This year has already been stressful and now the idiot (Mr X,Y. Z is requesting another appointment tomorrow morning.

I bet he isn't even cured and back in the office. If I have time, will ring tomorrow, if not, he can wait again.

I keep falling asleep under the blankie and it's only 9pmish too early so I decided to put foam rollers in my hair for tomorrow.

I'm not going to re-wash my hair or sleep in them but maybe they will retain the wave at least as there's going to be no time at all to mess with it.

TIme just goes so fast when I'm getting ready.. I never know where to place them so that it's an immediate style.

It just looks raggedy and weird, bits curl, others stay straight, half one side has volume, the other is flat.

I might re-spritz with the leave in conditioner, it might make my hair oily though...

I need to fill in my left eyebrow but I never remember to do it. It's just the front bit was over plucked and grew back thinly.

I'm not concerned about looking perfect, I just want to look decent or half polished.

I got to get some clothes, that actually fit me.

It's been a crazy day. I woke up to find something fused to the back of my leg and..... It was my lost right contact lens. 

I am thrilled!!! I thought that was lost for good but I'm happy I'll have a complete spare set to use in case I loose the new ones.

I unfortunately did end up throwing up again, my stomach even now, will not settle down.

Lunch is delayed and so is the nap. I've been sipping vimto and that helps and listening to binaural beats works for me too.

I have cramps which hopefully will pass soon. I'm happy that the Dictator (Mr X,Y,Z) called early and I updated him about a few things and he said so you'll be doing them now then??

I scoffed and explained well I just got in from getting soaked in the rain. I haven't eaten or rested yet but later sure...

He said....Oh okay that's fine then. Thank you, your bloody highness for granting me leniency for existing as a sick person.

Shish if I don't look after myself, noone will. I'm not doing anymore stairs, I've already decided, I'll suffer downstairs and wait for his highness to see me.

Oh and because of the rain, hardly any stalls were there so I couldn't get anything. I just ended up on Ebay instead.

I didn't really feel like shopping, the windy was chilly and I dressed in layers but still felt the cold.

Friday, 12 August 2022

#BlogLife330 - You can't keep a semi decent minx down!

I thought I was going to have a stress free weekend but I got some bad news today and the issue I thought was going to resolve just spiralled.

I take comfort in the fact that I was pro active and did what I could but it just seems to be a targeted resolution full of spite for a situation that is out of my hands.

I'm kinda surprised how it turned out but then again, I've been having ongoing issues so I guess it had to come to a head eventually.

I do have a recourse I will follow when I am notified officially and it's something people were pushing me to do anyway. I wasn't certain it was in my best interests and still not but I am out of choices so I will make the best of it.

I know that I promised a fiction piece and I don't have it in me to create a new one but I have unfinished stories that I may just publish.

I don't really like doing that, it seems untidy to put out half a story but I am struggling right now to get any peace and clarity.

This problem has taken over my mind so I just need to keep going and push past the angst I feel.

Have a blissful weekend and I'm going to try and relax eventually..