#BlogLife438 - Addicted to my next thought?

Another weekend is upon us again, what are you getting upto? Yesterday I feel like I slept the day away.

I wasn't in oodles of pain but I did feel really locked up and depleted.

I notice that sometimes it doesn't hit me straight away, but the after effects can show the following day or much later on.

I'm not sure when I'll have time to post this. The groceries are coming in the morning and then after that I have to get ready to meet Dic at 11amish.

He told me to call his number, which he never bloody answers anyway, directly from now on.

Plus he's trying to call me out for skipping the last meeting, I just transferred it to the phone, it still bloody happened, you shcmuck!!

And he said the lift won't be fixed for weeks, which is fine by me, that means shorter meetings.

I look forward to cursing out his behaviour in front of his colleagues next week, that always tickles me because they are so shocked about it.

I did try to re-curl my hair but it's just not looking right. I may have one last go tomorrow or will cheat and pin it up as usual.

I used to write either the blogs or stories in bed but I can't do that anymore.

As soon as it's bedtime, which is now, I just want to turn off and play a few rounds of scrabble and then sleep.

I suppose that's not a bad thing, I'm just uninspired at the moment I guess.

The nightie from Amazon is coming by Yodel, probably next week as I no longer have Prime, I didn't bother to extend it.

I almost feel like writing something new, the beginnings are great, much easier, but the middle and ends just become a chore.

I do so much second guessing at what seems dull or interesting that I guess I talk myself out of writing anything.

Then I load up the stories one by one and think alright I'll work on the Christmas one, no maybe the writer one, no maybe the arranged marriage or should it be the new one??

I just can't seem to focus, which is why, nothing is getting finished.

At least the groceries came on time and are neatly packed away, my makeup is done and I'm just counting down the minutes until I can leave and get it over and done with.

I would love for my fiction to be thought of as interesting and compelling. I don't think I'm there yet.

I like the ideas, I like how some of it comes across, the endings are probably sloppy and rushed though.

I should probably add more characters and plotlines but I don't enjoy going too overboard, it means more work and less dedication goes into it.

I'm not hungry yet so I'll eat when I return home. I'm already really tired, I slept alright but I don't think it was deeply.

Plus having my period again is tiring me out also. I came on the 13th of this month and that just lasted half a day.

Now again the 19th. It's light but annoying. I don't feel sicky though or have any cramps so I guess that's not too bad.

#BlogLife355 - Happy weekend frolicking

I don't really know what to talk about. I could cheat and link to a classic post which I might do on the weekends as I have people looking to see if I've published something new..

I haven't had my pedicure yet, maybe it will be a next month event. I did give myself a manicure as my nails were chipping. 

I have a few cramps but that's mild and at least it doesn't come with any nausea.

I have come up with a new story idea, usually I have the start and ending figured out but when it comes to the middle, I am stumped.

Lots of thoughts come and and not many come to fruition or are enough to get me excited into developing it further.

It's only when it starts to play out like a movie and there's a basis for strong characters and something worth developing do I proceed with it.

That seems to be my weak points, concluding the story, probably needs more concentration and effort.

Plus I feel guilty about the 2 unfinished stories on here and the one on wattpad. I have gone back to some lunchtime naps but I still feel drained.

When it comes to 6am onwards, I think there is just shallow sleep where I am half awake and half comatose. It's just not feeling like I am well rested.

I'm not sure what's going on with Iceland's delivery slots, there is only 1 available per day now. At least I got one for tomorrow.

I think I'm gonna leave my hair for it to grow a bit. It's really bugging me to have it loose and not stay in a ponytail. 

I'm also not sure why it flicks out the ends now, it never did that before. I'm just not going to equalise it, let it stay uneven and kinda messy.

Oh and my elbows are better than they were but still slightly cracked. I'm not going to re-purchase the Aveeno, seems too thin and watery with minimal hydration.

I'm also holding back from shopping, there are a few items I need to get but I feel like saving and being cautious for the next crisis that comes my way.

Laptops don't last and I wonder when this chromebook will end up giving me problems?

#BlogLife275 - My process of writing fiction

I'm not sure if anyone would find this interesting from an amatuer perspective but for a budding writer or anyone curious, these steps are what I follow..

Not all the time and they may not be essential to you but I personally find them useful and it might be the same for you.

1) A thesaurus is my best friend. I use it constantly. It's amazing the amount of favourite words that get used over and over and it's a bit repetitive so google the word, followed by thesaurus and you'll have alternatives to pick from.

2) A website with boy/girl names. You won't believe how the mind just goes blank when trying to pick a name. Have I used it before?

When I was growing up and getting engrossed in all these books, I mostly saw English names. There was nothing like my family names contained so I decided if I ever wrote anything I would always use non-English names.

As a tribute to my heritage. I'm using mostly names from that country in my stories. That's why you'll see a lot of unusual names. Although a few have just popped into my head.

3) A notepad or email because you'll constantly jot notes down, play around with titles or just scribble future plot lines and you do not want to forget these nuggets.

4) A basic idea. It doesn't have to be fleshed out yet, you just need a starting point to build on.

5) Knowledge, even if it's fiction you need a basis of where to begin and there will be lots of details you'll need to add in order for it to make sense.

If you are constantly googling for insights, you'll never write anything or finish it. There could be snippets, where you can Google but not for the whole thing.

6) It's much easier to write when you're passionate about the subject, characters, plotlines.... Whatever it is, it will make it go much smoother if you are heavily invested.

7) I can't speak for anyone else but I find it easiest when the characters come to life in my head as though they are having real conversations.

I might not be copying it word for word but at least I have an idea of what sounds more authentic, than just guessing.

8) Push through the self-doubt that will come up and try to derail your confidence. It's natural to feel that way.

Your story might need work or it might be perfect but you'll never know unless you write and finish it.

9) Don't do what I do. Focus on one story at a time. I switch between Lethal Curves Ahead and two stories I'm working on for the blog.

It makes my head explode but I manage it but when I come up with the plot and finish it, while it's fresh in my head, it's a better flow.

10) Lastly it's tempting to skip ahead to compose the scenes that you're really excited about. However I would strongly advise against this, as I tend to change direction every single time I write.

Which means a scene I think has significant relevance doesn't make it to the final draft and that may or may not happen to you also.

Just stay on the current chapter and give that all your attention. You can still jot down notes, but keep it brief.

I hope this helps you :)

#BlogLife221 - You're not a real writer *400th post!!*

Today marks the 400th post and I feel a bit weird about it. Even though it should be a celebration.

This week I'm really struggling to find any energy. I'm sleeping but I don't feel refreshed.

I feel as though something has taken over my mind. I don't feel down or upset.

I feel a bit empty and the cough that just disappeared, has now resurfaced with a vengeance.

The penpals are still driving me nuts. One guy wanted a bloody romance. It's not the Personals Ad. It's a frigging penpal platonic website!!

Another girl, got back to me from November of last year. WTF! You would think she would have the decency to apologise or make an excuse.

Nada! All she uttered was, do you want to carry on? Trash?! No! I relegated it to spam actually.

It's the same calibre of people that played online scrabble, brain dead zombies.

Every so often this restless mood takes over me. It was daunting putting my stories on Wattpad but there doesn't seem to be much traction aside from a few curious people.

Plus friends, randoms and acquaintances. I don't know if I should add the mini stories I've been creating on here, to make my profile look a bit fuller?

I know that I'm not at my best yet with the storytelling but I do feel like I have some sort of voice and vision, that's different to others.

I want to carry on moving forwards but I guess I feel a bit scared about those critical comments, that are bound to appear sooner or later.

I know my work can't be universally adored. I feel jittery it will be trashed over and over and eventually it will be put me off.

I also realise I can't stay safe as a creator and not take a risk. There are just many sites out there to choose from.

And as crazy as this sounds because I'm not the greatest with my content but I worry about, my words being stolen.

Most of them have copyright in place but what if someone keeps stealing my ideas and cloning my work?

Even with the blog, it's all original, coming from my experiences and thoughts.

It's disheartening to think of someone stealing my creations, that would make me lose my identity.

I guess the only thing that will give me comfort is that my work is dated, you can't argue with the time and date posted.

I will leave everything on Wattpad and maybe just experiment with a few new other sites.

Is this a step forwards or backwards? I can't even tell anymore.

I'll let you know which sites I pick and how the process goes and if there is any feedback, whether good or bad.

I think it's time for me to evolve and make some progress..