#BlogLife965 - Confrontations

Mama texted last night and she wants to meet to hand over Christmassy stuff maybe? I'm not sure.

I wasn't ready for it but this week or next will see how it goes. I told her about the Too Good To Go app...

Oops already mentioned it to her, she downloaded it but hardly anything nearby, she said a bus ride away was something.

I'm surprised I thought there would have been more and as there is a supermarket nearby, it would have been handy but nope.

There are places sorta locally but awkward to get too, still trying to figure the exact locations, very vague.

Plus the times are late, more for drivers than mere pedestrians, unless you like wandering out after 10pm..

Stranger still, I just checked my email and thought the gas/electric company wanted a meter reading but no..

I'm getting credit added to my account, 2/3 months worth because it's winter and somehow I qualify.

Wait a minute, it said electricity, not gas, but the combi boiler is gas, that warms the house, how can it be electricity only?

I swear, nobody makes sense to me. Baffling but to save money is a good thing and I'm grateful because I need the heating on daily.

The blankie is temperamental, off, on, low, low, super high.

I'm still worried about all the bus diversions and getting stranded.

I dunno if Mama wants to do just a meet, pedicures or lunch, we shall see, I'm not stressing about that anymore.

Before the year is out, I'll do my brows, get a pedicure and book the optician appointment, to finally get the right or left contact lens.

There's fireworks for the past few days, I think it's a holiday of sorts.

Oh yea, I was trying to find the location of the sandwich kiosk place that I wasted the couple pounds on for the Too Good Too Go bag and their hygiene rating is really low.

Maybe it was better that I didn't collect my food. At least the mainstream places are better rated.

I hope more supermarkets catch on and offer the service. If Mama's Lidl did it, she would save so much.

If my lil Tesco did it, that would be really handy. Anyway I will see how I feel and make do.

Perhaps I'll grab sandwiches from the cafe, although it's hit and miss in there..

I did get around to half plucking the left eye, but then I got distracted.

Another thing I noted from the face brush, it's a lil rough with the skin, I thought it would be a lil milder.

It's not bad, just unexpected. The other thing is, with more power and I could use the gentler setting but I don't like it, I want a powerful spin to work my face over and get a deep cleanse..

It uses a lot more product, it really evaporates fast I feel. I think soon the other face mask and this current face wash will be finished..

Good job I stocked up, the nivea moisturiser is finishing too, I need to get a new one.

I went ahead and uninstalled Klondike farming game, only because there is a similar one on Playtime, that will earn money.

It's better to focus on that, Phase 10 rummy and Monopoly Go have maxed out the rewards so useless but fun.

#BlogLife964 - Surprise

There's not many perks with my bank, they offer a rewards scheme for places I don't visit.

But I forgot that for once they did an Iceland cashback thingy and I use that regularly so got back £11.

I think I had a few quid in there and I could have chosen an Amazon voucher but trying to be practical so just added it to my balance.

If they had Just Eat, I would have gone for it. I just did an Iceland shop and to stretch it out, thought I'd add a twist to the sandwiches/burgers.

I was going to get the turkey bacon rashers but what was cheaper was the turkey ham slices, so I'm going to add that to the chicken or beef burgers so I don't get bored of eating the same thing.

I always feel better double checking there's definitely no pork inside it.

For once I have a condiment, so the mustard should pair nicely with it, might add cheese too.

I should have got some olives and maybe egg mayonnaise to vary the fillings even more.

But a big chunk of the budget went on kitchen rolls, buy 2 get 1 free.

Expensive but it lasts and is durable for my hands. The Playtime app I will leave until it gets to £20 and maybe give Mama an Amazon voucher for Christmas.

I'm not sure what I'll get her or I could redeem it and do the usual personal hamper full of treats for her.

I downloaded 5 games but I mainly play monopoly go and phase 10 rummy.

The rest get dull really quickly. Oh I discovered a new period drama that looks fun called The Forsytes.

It seems to be kinda identical to The Forsyth Saga I think it was called, a really old show I watched recently.

I wonder if it will end in tragedy? I enjoy it, no real spice but can't have everything and it has a narrator like Bridgerton too ha, copycats.

I was a bit gutted, Iceland seemed to not deliver the wholemeal rolls for the sandwiches but then I found a pack, turns out they substituted it, so that's a blessing.

I'm still getting the neighbour's post, getting indoors and then realising I have to go back out to re-deliver, some of the neighbours are just disgusting, instead of re-posting it, they just drop it on the floor.

Heinous creatures, I'm glad I'm not like that.

I saw some different vegan sausage rolls to try by the No Meat Company £1.75 for a 2 pack.

I wonder how it will compare to Linda McCartney, Greggs and Quorn.

Quorn might be my favourite. I've been buying and loving vegan options of these since I was a teenager and preferring them over pork.

The limited edition turkey one was excellent though. I'll probably try it this weekend when I want a snack.

I wonder if turkey ham will taste the same as the turkey bacon rasher?

So the turkey ham packs a wallop, very turkey, no fake ham flavour, nice but rashers are less pronounced so better.

I would not get it again, I need something other than overwhelming turkey.

I thought the turkey ham, mustard, cheese thing would go better but it didn't, it suited the chicken more, strange.

Actually I'm not keen on it at all. I finally finished the scented body butter so now onto the lemon.

I can't get over the disgusting smell, seems ok, thick enough, my elbows are cracking as usual.

#BlogLife963 - Quietness

I know I'm supposed to be a chatty blogger but it's difficult at present, there's too many things swirling in my mind, so I've retreated.

The landlord's bugging me about this boiler non mandatory appointment, they say reach out only if you're free and yet bombard you anyway.

If I don't need to have male strangers in my home I won't volunteer and what if there is a creepy bunch of them??

No thank you!!

I wanted to do a grocery shop for tomorrow but as they are lurking aggressively unannounced I'll save it for the weekend, usually they don't come around then.

I could agree and get it over with but I'm not feeling charitable, I feel tender and vulnerable.

Not in the mood to be around people. 

My hands/arm and shoulder keeps being restrained. That's why I don't want to type.

I'm struggling doing things like stretching or holding things and saying Ouch, ouch, ouch.

I can deal with the emotional stresses but the physical aches take their toll on me.

It just feels like I'll never be normal and have a pain free day. It's almost 2pm and I should eat.

At least Looney Tunes is starting the new event soon, that's just a relaxing highlight.

Once I start blogging, I don't usually like to take a break, until I'm done.

Things with Mama are still strained. I think I'm just angry with her and tired of letting her off the hook.

What I can't seem to shake is the fact that the siblings and both my parents got away with mistreating me constantly.

It's the fact that she let the siblings torture me and never sat them down and made them accountable or punished them.

Her retribution was solely directed at me. You should know better, it's your duty to forgive, this is on you, blame, blame, blame.

I'm hard enough on myself as it is but growing older is making me reflect.

Before I was too scared to speak and now it's built up internally.

Their behaviour isn't right. I don't know what to do with these feelings as talking to her, isn't satisfying.

There is no closure because she won't admit fault. It's like she'll hear me and then carry on doing the same thing.

What is the point? How do I get over it or come to terms with the horrors of my past?

I forgot I had another noodle pot of the fuel snacks. This time was the chicken, as the cupboards are mostly bare, reluctantly tried it.

Not good either, dry and powdery is the taste. I do not recommend them at all, worst noodles I've tried.

#BlogLife962 - Avon fest beginneth..

As of the 13th (Monday night), I finished the Neutrogena face wash and now to chose which Avon face wash to try..

Between Anew gentle cream cleanser (£4.95) or Clearskin supercharge cleanser (£4.28) or Skin Glow vitamin c and papaya extract.. (£5.40)

Then eventually when my mask finishes.. Clearskin blemish clearing clay mask (£2.93).

I wonder if they are all unscented. I hope not. I'm going for the Anew cream cleanser as my forehead and nose are a lil dry.

Tomorrow I'll let you know what I think. Hmm sadly the Anew cream doesn't have a smell.

No invigorating the senses. It's a thin cream and feels light so that's positive. It doesn't foam on the brush.

My skin feels soft, no more greasiness. Tonight I'll try to remember to use it with the face brush.

Now I'm trying the Namdong chicken noodle pot. The beef Fuel10k protein is awful, it doesn't blend well, I'm avoiding that brand.

Oh it did have a chilli sachet included but I binned it, not into that.

It smells nice and didn't need extra water, I did it for 5 minutes. This is my favourite, like sweet chilli or sweet and sour.

Delicious and for once tastes chickeny, with a small hint of spice, yum.

I got back from the UC appointment a while ago, ugh my back is killing me for some reason.

I felt like I got a broken up hour's sleep altogether. I woke up, my eye's were burning so reset the alarm for 30 minutes, slept and felt a bit better weirdly.

I wasn't running early and not sure I had the energy anyway to go to Tesco for sandwiches so skipped it.

My advisor wasn't there so I was glad and no yucky referrals to anywhere.

I picked up the chicken samosas, not bad, 5x £3. The raita is lovely and mild and goes well dipping into it, mint, cucumber and yoghurt and whatever else, lovely.

But I got KFC too, because my lovely local cafe is gone and Pret didn't have the chicken baguette.

Actually I realised I fancied fries and for once KFC did it fresh so samosas and a burger leftover for later.

The landlord's doing this boiler audit thingy tomorrow, Monday/Tuesday but I don't think it's mandatory.

I just ignored it, let them roam around checking someone else's boiler, I'm shattered.

If I ever warm up, I can do the heated shiatsu massager on my back later, it's throbbing a lot.

I also forget that I barely sleep before a meeting, I just assume loud party music will perk me up.

I did pop into that international store, I fancied nutty chocolate but they weren't on offer so I declined and just got some cookies and a Vimto.

I finally remembered to get some minty tictacs, no weird flavoured ones, in case I'm feeling sicky, which I was this morning.

Still no monthly, will I be skipping 2 months? That would be heaven.

Oh and as usual I forgot to pluck my brows, I really did intend too but slipped my mind.

I don't know how much I'll be blogging at present. I'm just not feeling good.

Taking off the pressure by not volunteering and not writing felt really beneficial to me.

Why don't I feel sleepy? This is an ideal time to nap, I think the pain is too strong.

#BlogLife961 - I don't know why I'm irritated..

Hmm from Sunday, no reply from Mama after I said I'm not coming for Christmas, no asking How I am..

Fine. I'm only your so-called daughter with health issues and dwp crap.

Then tonight she texted to say the older siblings isn't coming and neither is anyone else, that it wouldn't be the same without me.

Did she contact me while she was away? Nope.

I feel like I'm being manipulated to tow the line and just agree.

To give in, ignore my needs and cater to hers alone.

I think my issue is, now one of the few times I'm standing my ground and sticking up for myself..

Suddenly she's listening? All the years, all the times I've said, if the siblings are there, I don't feel safe..

Now suddenly she's doing me a favour??

Why?? Because you don't want to be alone and you want something from me, suddenly you're being kind..

Maybe you should have considered my safety and wellbeing long before.

You know as selfish as I am. When I told her I wasn't visiting over Christmas..

I felt weightless. I know I'm not supposed to take care of myself, it's supposed to be what she wants, what she needs, to hell with my happiness right?

But stepping away, saying No, I'm not doing what you want.

I'm tired of sacrificing myself for you, felt really good.

I know now I've made the right decision. 

She's not said Are you okay? Can I do anything?

Do you need anything? If it was anyone else but me, she would have.

That is what grates on me. Always being taught, Whatever I want is pointless, Whatever others want is real, it's important.

This year's been hard. I've struggled physically and mentally. 

I've had numerous injuries, a bad fall. I'm constantly stressed about money.

When do I just get to switch off from it? It's supposed to be lonely right? To be alone over the holidays..?

But what if it's not? What if it's freeing to not have anyone being nasty to you?

Putting you down? Making you feel you're not enough..

What if this year, I can finally breathe?

I don't know what's going to happen in the future.

But if I were her, I'd start to question why her only daughter is distancing herself away, more and more.

I don't think she'll ever self reflect. I think I've gotten to a point where I'm too fragile, too vulnerable. 

People are bad and I want to keep my distance, put a lot of walls up and just feel safe again.

There's a lot of bad qualities in me but despite what everyone I know thinks/says about me.

I know I'm a decent person. I'd have your back but no-one is reliable and I've not found anyone that can give me the bond that I would eventually want.

No time for me and take take take, no thanks.

I had a lot of love to give, care, time, affection..

I'm not sure I do anymore.

Ugh just as I thought I couldn't feel worse, there's a new weird mystery pain, my insides feel yucky and movements like bending are making it worse.

There's a local random that's ask to meet a few times, non romantically to kill his boredom.

A tiny bit of me is almost tempted just to have a giggle and the rest of me, doesn't feel safe at all.

I thought I was ready but I'm not, maybe some time later or next year..

#BlogLife960 - MyCarbon face brush

Weirdly enough just before 5pm again the Evri guy buzzed and before I got there, he vanished lol.

I'm really happy with my choice for a few reasons, even though I haven't tried it out yet, at some point this weekend probably.

When I do the usual indepth pampering. I'm pleased that the usb c fast charge wire is long and sturdy woop, just seemed over a metre so the phone won't drop on the floor, great.

Also there are only two attachment brushes, soft and firm but they are really really light and silky.

And the best thing is, I didn't have any issues adding or removing them from the brush woop.

I guess one thing I didn't consider was the weight, it's a lil bigger and heftier for my hands, I don't know if that will be an issue..

The other plus point is the speed, I did want something more powerful and it definitely is.

Another thing is, it seems to have some charge to it, I expected it to be dead.

They said it has extra long battery life and I think it's waterproof, that would actually suit being used as a body brush because it's bigger,

But my hands need light appliances to keep it pain free. That's all I can say right now.

I mean you could take it in the bath or shower and have a whole body experience, revitalise your skin..

I'm personally wary of submerging these types of things fully in water, just like my epilator which is wet and dry..

The reason it's lasted so long is because I'm careful with it.

I think my theory about having a powerful brush was that, you'd get an even deeper clean.

I guess we shall see really, my skin is a bit dry and bumpy at present, hormones and sugar maybe..

Ohh that's what I was gonna mention, I'll double check but I don't think I saw the usb c wire that I bought in the postbox..

Hmm it said it was delivered, unless it's hiding under junk mail.

The face brush was an early Christmas present, so no more splurging, I should be stocked up with everything now.

It's been a long hard day, taking out the bins and changing drained me.

I deserve pampering, time to wash off the makeup and use the new brush..

Hmm that was strange, the firner brush spun fast but felt uncomfy, hard and bumpy.

I don't like it, the softer one felt normal and easier, however it spun really slowly.

I didn't read the instructions, one is speed and one is direction maybe?

Or the battery is dying... The hard brush would suit the body, It wasn't too painful to hold actually, just feels secure in the hand.

About half an hour later, the lights stopped blinking. I assume it's charged, we'll see if it's more powerful now.

Yep the battery was definitely low, after I switched it off and did the spin, it was much better, it felt like it was actually gliding across my face.

I was sceptical but I think the alternate rotating brush makes a difference.

Somehow I feel even more fresher compared to the other face brush.

My skin is stripped, baby soft and has that salon fresh quality. Around the nose area, it almost feels inflexible.

As though it's only hitting the surface and not everywhere but no it's wonderful, afterwards you can't stop touching your face.

It's not completely clear, some scars and pimples have mostly reduced but with each use, I can see and feel a difference.

The one thing glaringly obvious, I need to pluck and get the brows done ha, what a mess..

Since using the new face brush, my skin feels a bit oily in the mornings so that's new.

I'm not sure if it's due to the face brush but the hand/shoulder/arm pain increased significantly.

Plus I've developed a cough. I'm listening to binaural beats and using essential oils to treat it.

Plus I feel like I have nonstop pmt. I like skipping months but it's vengeful with the symptoms.

Cramps, nausea, bloating, it never seems to end, whether or not I come on.

I can't wait to finish all periods permanently, please take the pmt with you.

Ugh.

#BlogLife959 - Witch's homework/Too Good To Go failure

Looks like I'll be spending the day trying to convert xls to pdf and the fun part is losing all my privacy as I have to look through Googly to do it.

The first one, made it so miniaturised it's not possible to read and the rest, cut it off.

Why paypal didn't listen and put it in pdf as I repeatedly told them, is beyond me.

I'm not looking forward to tomorrow and I just realised, I was supposed to do the grocery shop for Friday and it's not a good idea, but there's not really food indoors.

I have to just keep going, I feel like the minute I sit down, I'll be too comfy to head out. Plus they might be delayed.

I'll have to pick up snacks or order, depends what's available and how I feel, least I can do my brows, unless there is a queue an I won't wait around.

I feel like morning times are better for me, the pain hasn't set in yet, my body is still relaxedish..

Thank heavens my 4th or 5th site worked. Freeconvert.com and they say files are automatically deleted..

I hope so. 33 pages I have to upload and save to email and then ready for the library printout tomorrow.

I just realised after all the expenses I had to transfer some money back into the current account to cover this month's bills.

I have to check the oyster as well. The rent is paid. I need money for the library printout, the oyster card.

Groceries, I really should stop getting takeout or at least stick to the budget ones or use discounts.

Let's work this out, I'll save money on cab fares as I'll be home alone this Christmas.

When they finally finish their dumb roadworks, I can visit the mini Tesco, that will be cheaper.

If the food stalls are out, that's also better value than ordering.

From November or maybe December, it should be easier.

I guess the other thing is, I could schedule afternoon UC appointments to get the Too Good To Go bags but there is a chance I won't get a seat on the bus...

Whatever I do, I feel like I'm sacrificing my health. I will just keep trying my best and will figure out, what's right for me.

Eventually I will have to ignore the pain and shop locally and then come home and collapse on the bed and hope the discomfort won't last or that I don't aggravate an injury.

Actually the oyster has £19ish so will leave that.

This day keeps getting crappier, the takeout was delivered to the neighbours, the driver didn't ask for the code obviously.

Schmuck!! Got to re-order. No KFC, hopefully I will get a refund. I'm ordering Chinese, they seem to know my address now.

Anyway this is what happened today. Surprisingly the bus went straight to the Market and I didn't have to walk..

Although coming home it was a scary diversion, it took me home so I wasn't stranded.

I was astounded, it was an unexpected blessing because what happened next was a curse.

I got to the library and wasn't sure what order to put in the username and password, if that even was it.

Took me ages to figure it out, I took the phone and went to the library website and luckily the password filler kicked in and I knew it was case sensitive.

Then had trouble with the printer, it wanted a code, there was noone around.

Then instead of being straightforward, he goes scan here, wtf, why? Jeez.

Then the bank said, authorise it in the app, that I deleted, cripes, by that time I was bloody shattered.

So he suggested going to Ryman that's replaced our Post Office we don't have.

The queueing was horrific. I felt my back spasming, nauseated and dizzy.

I was about to give up when it was my turn. I couldn't be bothered to ask if they delete the email contents..

The one thing that made me relieved, it cost the same roughly as the library about £13ish.

I worried it would be a lot more. I posted it, wrote I'm so sorry, I just got it from paypal and will see, what her next back breaking chore is.

I am an idiot. As for the Too Good Too Go app. It was worth £12, £6.50 is the usual discount.

I saw it for £3.50 and I could pay via paypal. I assumed and I swear I googlied the image, that it was the coffee kiosk I passed to go into the Market..

Easy peasy so I went ahead and bought it and then you show that page to the vendor...

Except when I asked if this was the right store, he said sorry nope we are.... Perky....Peaky something..

I emailed Too Good Too Go and they said no refunds.. :(

A disaster but it's sent. I dd confirm that the bakery next to the pedicure place is correct.

Now I can visit the lil Tesco, in the future and load up. Oh checked the post and got the usb after all, it was hiding.

#BlogLife958 - Tomorrow brushing the face

Well just before 5pm I think, Evri buzzed and by the time I got to the door, gone lol.

The mini perfume sample is okay, a bit flowery but not in a spray bottle, a lil stopper, but easyish to pull out.

That's a shame none of them smell of anything. I should add, they were not packaged securely.

The box could have easily been opened, there was no bubble wrap or sellotape so they could have leaked which is not great practice for a company charging that much.

They obviously don't care about their customers, very sad. Once I get trying them properly I will let you know more.

I still have some mask and face wash left.

Oh and the other thing is, Evri lied the face brush wasn't delivered for the second time.

Looks like it will be tomorrow or maybe another excuse.. Then Friday I can head to the library to do the printing nonsense, which is gonna be a struggle with the cramps and dizziness.

I just realised most of the Too Good Too Go bags I like are around lunchtime and I'm more a morning person, so we shall see.

Oh the other thing I didn't realise, oof on the day, because they list them sometimes the day before..

The prices can reduce, that's fascinating, especially that posh coffee kiosk, they can go from £6.50 down to £3.50..

It's interesting but my legs won't make it sadly. I've realised I have to conserve energy and be sensible, that's why I rely on takeout when I get in.

And when the money is gone, I'm gonna struggle to stay on my feet and question whether, eating is a priority or resting is?!

So maybe no magic bags but the samosa guy might be there, at least I can pick up some snacks, providing my legs aren't burning.

I just hate the exhaustion that washes over me, going out is such a chore, I'm beginning to hate it.

Yea for others it's glorious and fun, for me, it's taking all my energy and leaving me empty.

I'm in two minds, Googly says mustard is a bit healthier than ketchup and mayo..

I want to try French's mustard to see if it's sweeter, I don't really like tartness or too vinegary.

In Iceland (the place) I was introduced to a sweet condiment but savoury too.

They called it mustard but I don't think it was that, it didn't taste like mustard, maybe it was a burger sauce??

I need something mostly not sugary but not bitter. My tastes keep changing.

I want to see if I will like it. I'm trying to budget, be healthyish and find something I will like so I don't get bored with food.

Instead of binning the old face brush I could use it as a body exfoliator scrub brush..

#BlogLife957 - Avon updated tracker after complaint

As suspected it took me complaining to customer services to finally get some progress.

Pathetic!! Now tracking says it's with Evri and the excuse customer service gave....?

Oh it takes 3-5 days, yes tomorrow will be the 5th working day and it won't be delivered, so your reasoning is rubbish!

Anyway now I guess there is a chance both could arrive tomorrow but doubtful.

I want them both to come while I'm home though, what if they leave it outside the door and it gets pilfered?

That's my concern, the cleaners, the maintenance, the neighbours seem to help themselves to my stuff..

Anyway just tried the newest Iceland chicken fries, it's much more chickeny but I overcooked it, 20 minutes is way too long, maybe 15ish next time.

Ugh ok so 3 weeks later from the 17th October I think it was, when I phoned up for it, paypal has sent me the report but as a message and not in the requested pdf form she requested and no date timeline..

Good grief it's in a spreadsheet form so I guess I have to convert it to pdf or find a way to make it downloadable..

Yeesh further headaches. I feel I've been screwed over once again.

Why does noone do what I ask?? I'll figure it out. I'll wait for the 2 parcels to arrive and then maybe Friday or Saturday I can head to the library and print out this nonsense for the 4th bloody time and send it to her.

Then I'll wait for her to yell and insult me on the phone and download whatever the fuck she wants yet it again, on this bloody merry go round and on and on it goes..

I wonder if they held back delivering the face brush for when the Avon parcel was received and ready to be sent out..

Who knows, the Avon is due anytime, we'll see if the face brush comes also..

The randoms are crazy as usual I think one of them stopped talking to me and had a hissyfit..

I played a joke when he said Hello and I replied Do I know you?

He said Bye and I said Just kidding and no response. To be honest yesterday was hardcore cramping all day so I wasn't in the most frriendliest of moods..

If he eventually develops a sense of humour and replies this week great, if not blocked..

P still treats me like I run an 0906 number, SS's spicy hotline, fem speaking...

He never wants a phone call during the day, only before bed as usual, keep waiting...

I wonder how you're supposed to treat your hands when the yucky pain flares up?

This type makes it horrible to move or flex them so I want to leave them be, but I can't..

I'm always typing or picking up the phone. What am I supposed to do?

Unscrew them for a bit, do nothing and then re-attach them? At least today seems hassle-free pain waise..

#BlogLife956 - I'm not liking Avon..

I finally feel like munching so had a crisp while I'm waiting for the Nissin chicken teriyaki with veggies ramen to cook/heat up..

It didn't really smell of much and no sauce packet. I didn't put much water as it was quite full.

I did it for 7 minutes and added a touch more water that instantly disappeared.

It has this hint of sweetness, it's not too salty. I quite like it actually, it's not chickeny but it is nice.

Not really sweet or salty and a really good amount of thinnish noodles.

I don't know if the lip scrub is meant for an overnight treatment but you'd eventually eat it off.

My recommendation is to apply it before you wash your face in the morning and night time.

That way you get a lil benefit mashing your lips together before you wash it off or wipe it off, whatever you prefer.

That to me is much better than leaving it on and being uncomfortable.

Then what you do, is follow up and apply a regular balm, simple :)

Oops forgot to do the most obvious thing when I'm confused about which brand to get...

Go on Youtubey and watch reviews.. Hmm I didn't realise the MyCarbon features fast charging and they include a usb which I need a spare one.

Also the reviews seem glowing and it seems to indicate you can spin it two directions, I'm not sure how that benefits but..

It's interesting and the last incentive is the long battery life. It's actually probably worth about £30 so I shouldn't really complain..

I just like saving money where possible. I just went ahead and bought the MyCarbon one..

Oddly enough it didn't say it was out for delivery but I got a note from Evri to say it wouldn't arrive today but tomorrow..

Strange that they couldn't get it to me, there is a ton of construction and road works.

Heaven knows what the noise is. I was hoping that the Avon parcel and the brush would arrive together..

No chance as the Avon one hasn't been sent to Evri, yeesh they are disgustingly slow.

I feel better I wrote Avon a scathing email regarding my parcel status, if you're charging for delivery, it should be prompt.

Honestly sometimes it feels like the only way to receive the goods or services you've paid for, is to chase them up and complain.

Oh I had the UC appointment, nearly 30 minutes late, yeesh and now the next one is in person, ugh..

I'll probably get an eyebrow shape and maybe snacks if any stalls are out.

#BlogLife955 - Do you smell nice...?

I don't know why taking out the bins and unpacking the shopping gets harder each time but I struggled to catch my breath afterwards.

I decided to keep trying new things and the Flora proactiv butter I think is less fatty than the willow, it actually tastes good too, I might stick with that, just for crackers not for breads/sandwiches..

The other thing is Kellogs dark chocolate and almond bars, those surprised me.

4x pack for £2.50 a very generous bottom layer of chocolate and lots of nuts, I highly recommend that.

At some point I will try the Nissin chicken teriyaki ramen noodles and I'm cooking the mango chutney onion bhaji 12x £2.50 tiny ha..

The bhaji with stuffed mango chutney was surprisingly good, needed more sauce though, this hint of sweetness complimented it well.

Updates? Well Mama returned she told me she got back yesterday and I'm said I'm not coming for Christmas but glad she's back safe.

I don't feel like pretending everything is fine when I'm bitter and I don't need the added stress/depression that staying with her brings.

Apparently the usb charger was delivered, haven't checked too tired and re-strained my shoulder or arm so that's tender.

Tomorrow the Avon and Beautizone might arrive, one is Evri, one is regular postie.

Well today, Monday, the special postie must have dropped off the Beautizone stuff, blurry pictures on twitter (@SleeplessScrib1).

So these ones I haven't tried but I like the brand for the value and the size and it's always on offer and lasts me months.

Highly appeal to me as in the past, things labelled as body butters were a scam, they were super thin lotions that didn't help with the dehydration.

Anyway the Nicka K scrub smells like strawberries even before you open it.

The inner protection soft lid was harder to open, my hands were slippery from trying the body butters.

I'm quite surprised how big the clumps of scrub were, that's just uncomfortable to have on your lips for a long period, what were they thinking??

I immediately wiped it off and felt better. it did seem to smooth my mouth.

I wouldn't buy it again, the other one was much more lighter and did the same thing.

Hmm I'm gutted a bit and now I see why these were reduced.

Both the American Dream lemon and cocoa body butters smell awful like wax.

I can't believe it's not flavoured. I was so excited about the lemon one, the citrus hitting my senses every time I used it.

There is nothing, same as the cocoa butter, it's just this horrible waxy scent.

I like perfumed products, I seek those out specifically because when I'm pampering, it gives a bit of a lift to my spirit.

Especially times like today, when I'm sore and achy and feeling hormonally down.

But my hope is.. Maybe they were freshly made and haven't settled..

It could be that the scent is at the middle or bottom and needs to be mixed up.

I will let you know, I haven't finished the other one, so I will leave this alone for now.

I just opened it to see what they were like and give some initial feedback.

The Avon one is slow 4 days and it's not even with Evri yet. Pfft 3-5 days, yea right..

The Beautizone took 4 days, not bad..I'm not sure what to munch today..

Hmm I'm not sure what to do, looking back I ordered my original face brush 9 years ago in 2016, unbelievable.

I didn't know it was that old, no wonder it's dying.. The retail cost was just over £10 but I had a gift card so free basically.

I thought it was cheaper actually. I remember not liking the sponge head, it didn't feel right.

I've seen a new one that costs £16.30 yuck, that's a lot more than I wanted to pay.

I know it's not expensive and if it lasts another 9 years, that's brilliant.

This one has 2 speeds also, I'm hoping it would be more powerful.

The Essy one is £17 with 5 speeds, it doesn't look comfy to use, no brushes or sponges, it doesn't seem like.

The MyCarbon one has the brushes but £16.30 is still a lot. There is a Homedic one but no UK plug..

#BlogLife954 - Change of mind(set)

I slept off and on but I was coughing a bit although the lemon essential oil on my pillow helped.

But the pain and sickness just made me feel a bit low and I didn't do much, which is probably a good thing as the intensity would have increased.

I don't feel guilty for having a light day and taking care of my body.

I might do a mini Zoom shop tomorrow to get some bits and pieces as I'm running low and it's not time for the weekend shop yet.

I unpacked the Zoom few discounts, the physical pain from hands/legs practically gone.

But it's the cramps and nausea that is debilitating me. I'm hoping the clementine juice, the binaural beats and the lemon essential oil will work miracles.

I just did a Beautizone order as the last body butter is finishing. I'll calculate how long it lasted later.

I got the American Dream lemon body butter reduced to £6 and a cocoa butter one, also £6.

I've not tried those. I really wanted to try the papaya but it was £7.50 so no thank you.

I also saw a Nicka K lip scrub £4 so my mouth is dry at the moment and will see how that performs.

The postage was £4 boo but I couldn't see any discount codes but at least the products themselves were reduced and they will last months and months.

Actually lasted 8 months, last order was February. 4 months per body butter as it's 500ml tub.

Ugh sorry no blog today, I am hot, cold, tummy's hurting, throat is sore, yuckity yuck and now feel stuffy.

Ahh just realised the pesto pasta is missing from the Zoom order I was having they would give me a voucher but just a refund.

Also the charger I got with the phone I won, the OnePlus has split and that's dangerous but it's the only charger I have so I ordered a new one.

Last time it caught fire so I hope it lasts until the new one arrives.. Eeek.

Pesto sounds like something I'd like but in large doses, the green one, I'm not sure I do, it's overpowering..

Although now I'm mixing it up, there's something else which is tapering it off, oil maybe?

I decided to shop at Avon and stock up on a few things, beauty reviews coming up.

I got some discounts and the delivery was £3.50 ouchy..

Perfume sample 10ml 90p Far away beyond the moon.

Clearskin pink clay mask 75ml £2.93

Skin Glow cleanser 200ml £5.40

Anew sensitive cream cleanser 150ml £4.95

Clearskin supercharged cleanser 150ml £4.28

£21.96 that cost for 3x face washes, a perfume sample and a mud mask, plus delivery.

Not really bargains but my face needs new products to shake it up a bit.

If you're wondering why I got the perfume sample? I had to make up the order by a lil to get a discount ha.

It will be nice if I've timed it right and it all gets here before Sunday.

(It's currently Wednesday night). Well now it's Thursday morning and I feel stuffy so sprinkled lemon essential oil and sipping the last bit of the clementine juice, while under the blankie.

I think as it's October I have to manually pull myself out of the stressy funk and go back to writing stories.

Starting from tomorrow, every weekend until Christmas I will work on the festive story so that it's released this year.

I told myself I was going to ignore every chaotic thing around me but I didn't, I couldn't.

I don't know what to do about Mama, she's toxic, not always and I'm not ideal either but I'm teetering on the edge.

I don't want to sink lower than I am already, maybe I'll limit the visits and call and texts or wean her out slowly....

That's one option as if I do get locked up, I can see myself cutting ties with everyone and disappearing inside myself again but this time, not having the strength or the inclination to uplift myself back up again.

As for dwp, I've decided when the report is ready, I'll just add an apology note to the letter and come what may.

She wants to bury me, good for her, Here's the shovel, happy digging. I'm too tired to fight.

For now I'll just carry on until the inevitable happens..

A new show I've gotten into Hotel Costiera I recommend, kinda mystery and crime, like Leverage, Finder..