#BlogLife898 - Liar liar - Same guy - Different name

Gosh it's hard to think straight. I don't think I'll be able to post today (Thursday).

This heatwave is sapping me of thoughts, energy, motivation.. It's just hard to sleep, even without the duvet on me.

One thing irritating me is that because the beautician always insists on wax and threading, my eyes are cut up to shreds.

Scarred from bleeding and still a tiny bit tender. If you're too lazy to pluck, then don't I really wish they wouldn't thread.

I feel like someone is taking a hacksaw to my eyes, hold, still, stop squirming while I massacre you. Ugh!

Always I say, wax, no threading and they nod, Yes we got it, and next minute, thread me.

Almost makes me want to shout, No threading means wax only, I'd like to leave without bleeding, without my skin being damaged.

Getting my brows done is supposed to be a treat. I want them to look nice, not bruised.

Ohhh I knew it, I called it, my instincts were spot on! A has been masquerading from someone I blocked.

He is actually HM, the one that only cared about himself and how did I find out?

He asked me to call him and as I was typing in the number it showed up on from my history.

I scoured my notes and low and behold, it was HM, we had a call, maybe at the end of March, ridiculous.

So I calmly confronted him and did he confess, apologise and admit he deceived me like a grown up?

Well? Of course not, he lieddddddd. He said Ohh I haven't used that name in years, how do you remember it??

The fool pmmed me under that name a few weeks ago, or sooner than that.

See this proves he's manipulative and a phony. I can't stand liars.

If that was me, I would have made a joke and said Oops busted, I missed your company and wanted another chance.

But Noooo he couldn't do that, so now he's blocked on the phone and I we will not be talking to him any longer on chat.

He's not taking it well, keeps pmming me, Did I explain? Nope. I want him to hate me and bother someone else and secondly..

I don't see the point, he's already denying it. He will continue lying and later masquerade as yet someone else Zzz..

It kinda makes me laugh, his whole attitude before we parted was, it's my way or the highway but then he knew I didn't tolerate that.

So he softened his approach, changed his name and pretended to be all sweet and caring but it's bs.

I think I was waiting for an excuse to block him. He's fine-ish but he asks me nothing about myself.

I mean I know I hate personal questions but over time, it's gets easier to answer them, so although we've talked for a while, it's all superficial and that's his thing, flirt flirt flirt but not connect.

Plus he has kids, doesn't live locally and is a compulsive liar, three strikes, you're out!

And I was gonna be reckless and not withold my number and a voice said.....Umm You sure you wanna do that?

As soon as I saw his number wasn't new, I just did the 141, well actually it was already there.

If you can't be bothered with the pesky truth, move along, move right along....

On to today. Oh my stomach hurts, the nausea comes and goes but it just makes me dizzy, the sodding heat doesn't help.

I was running royally late, I just couldn't seem to stand, I was retching as though I was gonna vomit but I didn't.

Ick, so I just went to the library, typed in the wrong details as I was flustered, waited for the idiotic text code, twice..

Then I forgot how you print ha, so the nice assistant helped me, £1/60 for 4 copies, all done, oof, it used to be maybe 5p per printout? Yeesh.

I would like to lay down and sleep but not tired enough, that Twit gave me another 9am appointment, God I hate him!

Anyway while I was at the library he called and said Can you do a phone appointment, he couldn't wait 5 minutes for me to get there...

I didn't really hear him, so ignored that until he said it again, so I didn't bother going to the Jobby after all.

Actually it would have been longer lol and I could barely hear him, he was devastated that the course didn't accept me.

Bahahaha!!!! He wants the bloody email, You can have it, you tit! Why take my word for it??!

I got the printouts in my bag only for the zipper to break, so I now need a new crossbody handbag, I love that style plus I cannot grip with my hand for a prolonged time so that's better for the pain management.

I am just waiting for brekkie, the egg and chicken rasher muffin, lush and some apple juice.

I'm going to window shop in maybe Amazon's site as I think they sent me a coupon.

You know something else that I thought of, If DWP wasn't such a Witch about harassing me for 9 months, they would have got all of the Paypal balance but because of spite, now when the huge fine comes in, they'll get less.

I hope it's been worth it, abusing me for all this time. If she does have bosses, I hope they throw the book at her!!

Crikey, I just struggled to stand up to get to the door but lovely food is here and I hope it settles my tum, please please please.

I hope your day is a lot calmer :)

#BlogLife748 - Sick of you and you and you!

Hmm I asked an acquaintance if the foundation looked natural and she gave me the thumbs up but when I got home and looked in the mirror, it looked a bit light.

Actually I don't know if it's the foundation or the powder that isn't quite right, maybe it's both but then on a third look, Oh cripes I can't tell.

Sometimes it looks natural, other times too dark or too light or maybe it's the phone camera filters confusing me??

This was the first day walking with the glasses, everything just looks wobbly.

I forgot when wearing glasses, I have no depth perception at all. I was struggling to fit the key in the door, see the bus, grab the rail.

Ugh I did chase up the Optician and got cut off first time, ugh I am still pissed!!

Then re-dialled and asked to speak to him personally, but got fobbed off.

Then got put on hold multiple times, to then be told. It was never ordered, then it was, then she needs to speak to someone and call me back and that was hours ago!!!

You dumb tit!!! Give me my sodding contact lenses!! Now obviously I didn't say that, I was restrained but I sure as hell was thinking it :)

Now A is vexing me. I feel like he's acting shady after viewing my picture, I wish he would just block me and get over and done with.

I feel like he's deliberately replying when I'm offline and then not answering simple questions.

If he's busy I get that but then why do you have the time to read my messages??

I'm gonna be distant and give clipped answers until he acts normally or I get fed up with him.

I don't mind being blocked at least I know, that guy definitely doesn't ever want to talk again, I know where I stand, it's far better.

The saving grace of today, while I was feeling really unbalanced and sicky, was ordering from my local cafe.

I don't know why the fries help with the nausea but they really do. I got the egg and chicken rasher muffin and then I saw they had a new cake I think..

A coffee latte sponge layered one. Oh my heavens, it's just a spongier version of tiramisu, so light and moist.

I was too full to eat it, I think I'm bloated. I wanted to order a fizzy drink but didn't, I got the fresh orange and apple juice but then they sent me a free Rubicon black cherry, I love that one, my favourite flavour.

Although the passionfruit isn't bad either, it's 13 calories. That's in the fridge because after the orange juice, all I really wanted to sip was ice water, ha.

#BlogLife747 -Hello! I'm Ghost and I've returned :)

I've just been trying to pluck my brows with the tweezers but it's all so blurry.

I give up, sod it, messy brows is the new me. The right one is still noticeably red and sore to the touch, yeesh.

The left one although not perfect, looks a tad presentable-ish. The right is just a mess, ha.

I did something after I returned from Mama's that I don't usually do.

I went ahead and unblocked A, he was the one that was obsessed with photos but aside from that, we got on well.

It's funny though that I didn't create a cheat sheet for him, no details whatsoever so when I was looking through the legions of blocked guys, I couldn't recall his name.

Finally realised it was A and there were several and none looked familiar. I figured he deleted his account but I unblocked all the namesakes anyway.

Then Saturday night up he popped and said Hi. I was so shocked, I didn't even know if it was the right person.

But suddenly all the previous chat reappeared and I scrolled up and thought Ahhh, it is him.

I wasn't sure if he'd be annoyed at being blocked and that we had words and that I disappeared.

But I'm not sure he realised, ha. He asked point blank, is this the first time you've been back?

And I said honestly No. I took some time out, things happened and I was away for a while too.

He said that he almost unsubscribed a few times but kept returning

I didn't actually confess I had blocked him. Our last conversation was tense.

He was saying, he wanted regular photos and I replied that at a push, sending one, would be it, for me.

So he is better seeking out someone that is happy to provide that and then I blocked him.

As one I felt a lil bullied, that was the only thing he pressured me about, but it was constant.

Secondly, we had a deeper connection than I'm used too and that scared me a lot.

I'm not someone that opens up to many people. I think it all became overwhelming and I needed to step back and it was the right decision at the time.

It's not something I'm comfortable with at all. When I was standing in front of Mama's full length mirror, where she had lots of natural light.

I studied myself and thought, I see no evidence of weight loss, whatsoever, what is the point of a healthier lifestyle??

But other people have noticed and obviously the dress sizes keep going down so that keeps me motivated.

But the mirror image, the photos, do nothing for my confidence levels, as someone that grew up ashamed of my body, whether slim or not.

There was a lot of self loathing and when I was dating, I felt like there was more criticisms, than compliments, which made my self-esteem just plummet further.

It's a prickly topic for me but occasionally I'll push myself out of my warm fluffy safe existence and do something, I hate for personal growth.

I mentioned just before I left for Mama's I snapped a selfie and at Mama's I snapped a full length one, with my face included.

The first one was covered by the phone but my hair looked fantastic.

The point is that I sent him both of those when he asked because I wanted to maybe put him off or test the waters and although it probably would sting a lil if he said, Sorry you're just too unattractive for me.

Overall I would have accepted it and said Alright, thanks for being honest and re-blocked him lol.

Okay just checked he didn't block me, there isn't those dots instead of the last seen ? hours ago.

He says he prefers the fuller figure and his reaction was, the short do, suits me and he called me "Pretty."

I reject that completely but I don't see myself as hideous either.

I'm passable I guess. This time I didn't feel backed into a corner.

I think I had already decided to send it to him before he asked. I made it on my terms though, not his time frame.

That was just better for me. Actually the funny thing is, he didn't offer to send me one of himself and he doesn't seem to want a phone or on site microphone chat.

It does make me wonder, if he'll suddenly confess, Oh by the way, I'm married, I thought you knew............

Like most of them tend to blurt out... Hmm...

But I'm separated..

But we're basically just roommates..

But she doesn't get me...

And my favourite...

We're just living together until we can sell up..

I always think, I'm sure the wives are oblivious and seemingly content.

I guess we'll find out, if he was worth unblocking but there's something calming about him, that stood out.

I really felt heard, in each of our conversations and when we dissected our last breakup chat type thing.

He said, Maybe I should have been more patient and understanding..

And I said, Well you were being upfront with your needs but I still felt a bit, as though I was backed into a corner.

Another thing I respect about him, is the quiet air of confidence.

It's not arrogance, he's not fishing for compliments. It's just matter of fact and that's another rare quality.

Someone that's not me, me, me and has the natural back and forth, that we have.

Enough rambling, just had to get that off my chesticles. See you tomorrow, hopefully.....