#BlogLife747 -Hello! I'm Ghost and I've returned :)

I've just been trying to pluck my brows with the tweezers but it's all so blurry.

I give up, sod it, messy brows is the new me. The right one is still noticeably red and sore to the touch, yeesh.

The left one although not perfect, looks a tad presentable-ish. The right is just a mess, ha.

I did something after I returned from Mama's that I don't usually do.

I went ahead and unblocked A, he was the one that was obsessed with photos but aside from that, we got on well.

It's funny though that I didn't create a cheat sheet for him, no details whatsoever so when I was looking through the legions of blocked guys, I couldn't recall his name.

Finally realised it was A and there were several and none looked familiar. I figured he deleted his account but I unblocked all the namesakes anyway.

Then Saturday night up he popped and said Hi. I was so shocked, I didn't even know if it was the right person.

But suddenly all the previous chat reappeared and I scrolled up and thought Ahhh, it is him.

I wasn't sure if he'd be annoyed at being blocked and that we had words and that I disappeared.

But I'm not sure he realised, ha. He asked point blank, is this the first time you've been back?

And I said honestly No. I took some time out, things happened and I was away for a while too.

He said that he almost unsubscribed a few times but kept returning

I didn't actually confess I had blocked him. Our last conversation was tense.

He was saying, he wanted regular photos and I replied that at a push, sending one, would be it, for me.

So he is better seeking out someone that is happy to provide that and then I blocked him.

As one I felt a lil bullied, that was the only thing he pressured me about, but it was constant.

Secondly, we had a deeper connection than I'm used too and that scared me a lot.

I'm not someone that opens up to many people. I think it all became overwhelming and I needed to step back and it was the right decision at the time.

It's not something I'm comfortable with at all. When I was standing in front of Mama's full length mirror, where she had lots of natural light.

I studied myself and thought, I see no evidence of weight loss, whatsoever, what is the point of a healthier lifestyle??

But other people have noticed and obviously the dress sizes keep going down so that keeps me motivated.

But the mirror image, the photos, do nothing for my confidence levels, as someone that grew up ashamed of my body, whether slim or not.

There was a lot of self loathing and when I was dating, I felt like there was more criticisms, than compliments, which made my self-esteem just plummet further.

It's a prickly topic for me but occasionally I'll push myself out of my warm fluffy safe existence and do something, I hate for personal growth.

I mentioned just before I left for Mama's I snapped a selfie and at Mama's I snapped a full length one, with my face included.

The first one was covered by the phone but my hair looked fantastic.

The point is that I sent him both of those when he asked because I wanted to maybe put him off or test the waters and although it probably would sting a lil if he said, Sorry you're just too unattractive for me.

Overall I would have accepted it and said Alright, thanks for being honest and re-blocked him lol.

Okay just checked he didn't block me, there isn't those dots instead of the last seen ? hours ago.

He says he prefers the fuller figure and his reaction was, the short do, suits me and he called me "Pretty."

I reject that completely but I don't see myself as hideous either.

I'm passable I guess. This time I didn't feel backed into a corner.

I think I had already decided to send it to him before he asked. I made it on my terms though, not his time frame.

That was just better for me. Actually the funny thing is, he didn't offer to send me one of himself and he doesn't seem to want a phone or on site microphone chat.

It does make me wonder, if he'll suddenly confess, Oh by the way, I'm married, I thought you knew............

Like most of them tend to blurt out... Hmm...

But I'm separated..

But we're basically just roommates..

But she doesn't get me...

And my favourite...

We're just living together until we can sell up..

I always think, I'm sure the wives are oblivious and seemingly content.

I guess we'll find out, if he was worth unblocking but there's something calming about him, that stood out.

I really felt heard, in each of our conversations and when we dissected our last breakup chat type thing.

He said, Maybe I should have been more patient and understanding..

And I said, Well you were being upfront with your needs but I still felt a bit, as though I was backed into a corner.

Another thing I respect about him, is the quiet air of confidence.

It's not arrogance, he's not fishing for compliments. It's just matter of fact and that's another rare quality.

Someone that's not me, me, me and has the natural back and forth, that we have.

Enough rambling, just had to get that off my chesticles. See you tomorrow, hopefully.....

#BlogLife242 - Beauty impaired

I set my alarm early for about 8amish and thought I would get ready and leave early to avoid queues and crowds. I slept through the first or both of them but it was only 8.30am so wasn't too bad.

I didn't leave until 11amish. I don't know why it takes me so long to get ready but it does. I washed my hair and decided to do half up/half down and tie the remaining.

I'm not sure how it looked from the back but the front was tidy. I have grey hairs prominently displayed at the front fringey bit but I am not really bothered.

I feel so old as it is, grey hairs are nothing to freak out about. I didn't have to wait to long for the buses and there are other bits I could have done but I didn't want to tire myself out.

Today was about beauty. I decided it was long overdue and finally opted to get my brows tidied. Wow. I have shape again, they look so good.

The first thing though was the luxury pedicure, the chair has a percussion and shiatsu massage so while my tootsies are soaking I can mostly chill out.

Altogether it was £28 and because it was practically empty she was so thorough. I felt like I had about 3 leg massages. The scrub, the cream and maybe soap?

I'm not sure but that part was totally luxurious, however the pain was creeping in and started to get really painful and I wasn't doing anything but holding onto the chair rest.

When I was lifting my legs to take them in and out of the warm water for the treatment. I felt this immense pain. It was uncomfortable but the massages help.

I was trying to take some deep breaths and stay light and fluffy but it was a challenge. It's not usually this bad but I strained my legs with the mopping and maybe that's why.

I kinda feel a bit dead in certain areas of my body, any little bit of exertion and it's torture. There is more tidying to do but I'll either get to it later or tomorrow.

I did wear that new purply wrap top today and found some blue trousers I had forgotten about. Also a brand new pair of beige trousers that are just a tad snug.

They still have the tags on so I'll keep them for a while and see if I can eventually fit into them.

I went with Pret A Manger, my favourite sandwich shop and bought the chicken and avocado sandwich, plus the chicken katsu baguette.

I overbuy and then stuff them in the fridge as I knew I would not want to be standing cooking/heating up anything.