#BlogLife265 - Writing madness..

I have a different process when I write a fictional post to when I write a chapter on Wattpad to when I compose a factual post. It's all varied.

The books, they need some sort of seed, they need an essence of where I am going and then I can say alright, let's get started and hopefully fill up a chapter and that's enough, chapter by chapter, that is good enough for me.

The fictional posts, tend to more emotional turmoil. I'm processing something and it's working through my system. There is a particular subject but it hasn't formulated yet.

I'm not ready to confront it or it hasn't pieced together yet, I'm getting on with my day, cooking breakfast or lunch and it's coming together and then it justs dings and it's ready and I get typing and it pours out, without that much stopping and starting.

The regular day to day posts I gravitate towards what I was doing or plan to do and it will just sometimes write itself or other times it will need a bit of time to add other things to it.

I just tend to roughly proof-read and check for spelling errors but I still have that weird faux dyslexia thing where I am saying it in my head as I am reading it and because the words in my head are correct and how I pictured it, the words on the page don't register as inaccurate.

That's why later on, I re-read it and am puzzled by the wrong words or tiny errors that suddenly don't make sense to me.

The blog posts are easier, I compose something and may tweak it in a minor way but whatever it is, I'm always mostly satisfied.

The Wattpad chapters I am far more critical about how they appear. I will stay on a chapter, even if it's completely done and go over it a dozen times, trying to see if, I can improve it and if it makes sense or sounds foolish.

I do that frequently and drive myself nuts because I don't always see what needs improving, something doesn't feel right but I don't know what it is.

It was a lil easier when I had someone looking over it objectively but then I always felt like a pest, asking for feedback.

I would never badger someone but it's the asking for a favour and waiting to hear back, that never felt like a thing that friends do for each other, just felt like I was a nuisance.

In the end I just stopped and learned to trust my instincts and tried my best to make it well rounded because when I finally did say Book 1 was done, nothing was the response.

Not congratulations or can I read it so that's why I don't like asking for favours. I'm happy to support and be there and not make it hard to ask me for something but in return..

Blah the wind rustles, silence fills the space.

The funny thing is when I think about a fictional short story for the blog, just some blog filler, it seems so short, so easy to write.

It's only when I get down to it, I forget there is so many other additional details to fill in the blanks, it needs a background, it needs conflict, it needs characters that have to come alive.

It's not so straightforward after all, I have to put the time in, inspiration has to hit me at each interval.

Even if it just some quirky story, I still like it to be created properly and be interesting.

In some ways, romance lives in my head and I love making it come to life on a page, considering how my personal life has always been messy, this is a funny thought.

I kinda wish I could talk to teenage me and say, it's going to be alright, you're going to manage it. You are going to write, write, write and it's going to be incredible, not always the output but the feelings it will evoke in you.

Nobody and nothing can take that away from you!!!

#BlogLife262 - Limbo land

I am stressed and waiting for these feelings to pass by me but as yet they persist, maybe partially because although on one hand, they've been acknowledged, however they also been fobbed off at the same time.

It's just hard enough to say it out loud. "You hurt me." But when someone doesn't take full responsibility for it and just says well la di da, we all have stuff to deal with.

It's a slap in the face and when they justify it by saying you're not laughing it off, the way it was intended, it's like my concerns don't register and I'm sick of that.

I won't tolerate that but now I have a choice to make, do I want to keep being around this person knowing that they keep acting in the same way, that they can't help themselves or do I throw him away and cut him off completely?

I don't want to explain it further so I'm still keeping my distance but there is a friend that I do private message and that's still fun. I just hope she hasn't been sharing what I have divulged to her in secret..

I am also waiting to hear back on another matter and the process was already complicated. It's been 10 days, crikey I didn't even realise that nearly 2 weeks have passed and no update.

I have to be patient I guess but the weekend is here and no blogging for 2 days is (no offence) kinda a relief. I get to have a break and let my body/mind veg out and take time off.

I am going to munch on cereal bars, plus some almond slices and carry on binging The Closer and Scandal.

I'm going to see if I can wrap up Chapter 17 of Lethal Curves Ahead. It's basically written but it needs something else and I have no idea what 18 is going to be about.

I have an idea about the longer storylines but the current phase, it's tricky. I still have to shape these characters and make them believable and the type you root for and have preferences about.

Wish me luck?

#BlogLife194 - Choose your own path..

I was always intrigued by the idea of these stories, where you could supposedly choose your own direction but everytime I read one, the ending was always geared towards the area I didn't want to navigate. 

I think it would be fun to start off a story and have someone add to it, either in the comments or on their blog but you have to be popular and have a lot of engagement to carry that off.

Plus a captivating story and my skills are still building as far as that goes. I would also want to end it, is that selfish?

I understand that there are just infinite plots and you can't cater to them all but these stories should at least try.

I'm working on two fiction pieces at the moment but they need a lot of fleshing out and I'm a lil blank.

I'm watching a new Hallmark film The Perfect Pairing with Nazneen Contractor and Brennan Elliot, very predictable amnesia story but still looks good.

I also had some ideas for alternate endings to films or new plot ideas that could be more appealing than my wacky tales.

That seems a bit intimidating though, even if it is just for fun and not to be taken seriously :D

I'm not looking for plot ideas though. I just think it be groovy if someone added their take, it might just end up somewhere nobody expects :)

#BlogLife138 - Listening or reading?

How is your weekend going? Getting a lot done or just saying... Hey S, this is me-time. I'm vegging out, that whole productive thing can be done during the week, got it?

Ooh touchy touchy, I was just asking :D I'm lounging here thinking about the upcoming 300th post again. I hit the milestone already technically.

But I deleted some posts because I wasn't feeling them. Now I know I have to do something special for you gals and guys following me (and the guests).

For the 100th BlogLife I did a voice snippet. Which was terrifying. I did get a thrill out of it and tonight while I was doing my pampering thing...

Face brush gliding on the skin. Heavenly. I recommend it. Just feels so good even for a few minutes to get that face massage and feel like a queen.

Plus if you pushed for time, it only takes about a minute or so unless you are really enjoyed the sensation. I find I still get the same results from a quick session, rather a longer one.

Anyway I digress.. I thought about what if I read a whole story. One of my originals, how about the one that I have yet to finish?

Or I could just read one of the fiction posts. I could even do one of the beauty ones.. I cannot decide at the minute. Is it a good idea or a bad one?

I mean it's not racy. It's probably more goofy at this point ha!! I mean could I do that? I don't know if there is a storage limit or how it would work, if I did it on wattpad?

Apparently you have paste the link from youtube which I am avoiding. I don't want just anyone listening to me. It's for my sweet beautiful readers.

I would still write out the complete story here but I guess there would be an added bonus of hearing it. I remember trying to listen to audios with the robotic voice and no pause for punctuation,

It was horrendous. It has probably improved greatly since then. It would be a new thing for me. A new challenge. It's the logistics that overwhelm me.

I am not a super technical person and I don't have fancy speakers just the laptop. It could be too much background static or unclear.

I just realised that I have forgotten how I did the voice clip. I don't even recall the site I used. I remember it was easy and simple to use.

I think I hit record and then save and probably download, then put it on google drive, customised it not to be downloadable or altered.

Then create the sharing link..... Hmm sounds straightforward but knowing me I'll just mess up the first go and have to re-do it. I'll be a voice over artist for the day ha!!