#BlogLife816 - A million ways to say exhausted

Good morning all. It's just gone 11amish and I woke up early for the groceries but actually had a nice deep sleep.

I can't recall what I was dreaming about but basically everything was in stock, they just changed the brand of wipes, which is fine.

I tried the Nando's garlic perinaise, it's quite garlicky but the spice only tingles on the tongue, mind you, I only sampled a small fraction of it.

Maybe I should have gotten the non garlic. I thought they would have only used a hint of it.

When I had it in a sandwich, it was much less potent and blended in more naturally so I would recommend it.

Anyway even though I sat down and rested halfway through unpacking, I feel stretched out and lifeless.

Lots of muscle ache and no energy, although I did take out the bins too. I have no appetite yet so I'll wait until lunchtime to eat properly as my stomach is churning and standing up, I feel quite weak.

I didn't get anymore juices, I've gone back to water. I've chopped and filed my nails once again as they were starting to chip.

Oh yea and yesterday and today I checked to see if the paypal report was ready and nope, nothing.

I'll either chase it up today or on Monday. I'm going to miss having savings.

I hate the thought of buying on credit but certain things are essential and I do budget carefully.

I finished watching Lockerbie about the Pan Am flight and what really happened.

It was interesting and based on true events, I wonder what aspects were exaggerated?

I also saw Lick, a new Passionflix film. A very typical storyline about a couple who get drunk and married and faces the consequences later on.

But actually it was pretty good how it unfolded. Too much foul language but it was a slow burning story of getting to know someone.

I never understand how people can do that in real life, so drunk that you marry a complete stranger?

You're forever tied to that person, their debts, their past..... That's just weird. Marriage is a big serious commitment.

Anyway I also re-watched Christmas on the coast about the unhappy robotic writer who travels back home and re-connects with everyone.

That really was an enjoyable movie. I guess that's why it stuck in my mind because growing up, she felt like an outsider also.

She struggled making connections and staying fresh and churning out vibrant stories.

I worry about nor being interesting. I worry about not being consistent.

I would like to be an entertaining writer with a mixture of lightheartedness and cold bitter truths.

But mostly I just end up sharing what I'm stressed about. I need a new tv show to get into.

But before that, I need to write some fiction, some romance, even if it is just make believe, it will make me feel good.

Oh and my face has gone extremely dry. I don't know if it's from winter or the mask but I'm applying moisturiser a few times a day.

It's now Monday afternoony and I feel wretched, This nausea is just coming and going.

I feel weak and drained. I think it's pmt or stress sickness as I never feel like this at Mama's.

For the final time I checked with Paypal and no report so I have to call them either after I get ready or when I get back from my UC appointment.

I still had some time to kill, I didn't oil my hair. I wanted it to have some volume, although it looks flat to me.

Paypal said they are sending the report within a day, Hmm, yes I've heard that before.

He was acting really weird, said he would have to check if it's possible and then had me on hold for ages.

I'm not sure what I would have done if he denied me the statement, probably stressed that DWP need it urgently.

I just had a look and it seems like they have rectified the sushi menu and it's 40% off today so by the time I get back, I'll probably be hungry.

If the corrupt government is going to take all my savings, I'll just use some of it, while I am still able.

That will be the last of my inheritance all gone. At least my stomach has stopped lurching.

And I had time to do my makeup, bit of perfumed foundation, moisturiser, dark purple and a light pinkish sweep over the brow.

I don't know why I'm yawning, I slept alright, although, the shoulder or arm pain is getting vicious.

And it's probably just from carrying the laptop or groceries, nothing strenuous, just routine chores.

But stuff affects my body, worse than ever now. These injuries are becoming more and more regular.