#BlogLife809 - The Devil is in the details

I was going to add this to Yesterday's post but it slipped my mind.

And to be honest, I'm not sure I'll be posting regularly even though I'm home, I'm still struggling with my thoughts and energy levels.

Anyway it was two things. One Mama brought up dating and said Oh yea you didn't start until late it was early 20's right?

And I said Nope, I was 17yrs and she was surprised, when did you go out and who with..?

In my head I was thinking, it's better you don't know and I stopped myself blurting out that I'll never forget the age as I was assaulted and that tends to stay with a person.

She's so clueless but at the same time if I brought that up, I'd have to say, Well yea, those days, I found any excuse to stay out as late as possible, anything to avoid being at home, surrounded by threats.

And that I was seeking affection, anywhere I could find it, not knowing what a dangerous world we live in.

I don't want her to take on the blame for it. I want her to acknowledge our home life was a scary place.

Anyway, the other thing that irritated me was her relative, grilling me on what benefits, I'm claiming, if I'm working, that my hair is thinning.

And I wanted to say, What the hell does it have to do with you?? Mind your own bloody business!

But good manners dictate otherwise and plus I could barely stand straight so I just rattled off answers and hoped she would leave soon.

To be fair, she did bring us some rotis and curry and travelled in the cold weather, without a car.

But this is what I don't like about the relatives, they feed on information, to spread gossip and act judgemental.

They are gleefully eager to criticize. I know my hair looks like crap, I don't need to bloody hear it.

Why couldn't she have just said. I've found a nice product if you're interested, it's castor oil for the hair and it worked well to thicken mine up.

Oh also thankfully, the boiler is working and the pipes haven't frozen in this wintry supposedly snowy weather.

But to be safe I'm still leaving it on for a further few hours and to be honest, I'm still cold, but not freezing any longer.

Nice to be back in the warmth and I just tried the bathroom tap and it's back to normal, woohoo.

I didn't do anything but before I left, I had dumped the whole bottle of washing liquid and it wasn't filled with water, it was empty but draining slowly, when I turned the tap on.

But I was still nervous that maybe it would turn out to be a bigger problem and heaven knows if the landlord would take responsibility.

They fix what they feel like and ignore the rest, recently, there was a mass message saying we won't replace taps anymore.

It's your responsibility! Cheapskates!! That's a big relief at least.

I didn't even check the post, the Witch has probably written demanding something else.

I had a really bad night even though I waited until late to go to bed.

I kept waking up and having nightmares about murder and bullying.

I didn't eat or drink anything last night, I just didn't feel like it but listening to the binaural beats and gargling with salt water helped as I just had some water and no pain.

I'm cooking some chicken spring rolls and will probably do an Iceland order some time this week.

The boiler was acting strangely, it wasn't making any noises but thankfully it did start. I'm leaving it on medium again.

I guess I'm still stressing about the video call in 2 hours. It will be my first ever one and visual close ups make me cringe.

I feel so raw and uncomfortable but I had no choice, if I don't do it, I'll get into trouble.

Even though I'm not craving food, it was fun to discover Iceland has new chicken based meals that don't have pork included.

Maybe I'll nap later as my throat is starting to burn and I'm still frozen with the heating on and blankie, except I don't feel remotely tired, just agitated.