#BlogLife821 - Uncomfy that you're too comfy..

I thought I would try another de-stressing method and that was to go back on chat and converse with the crazy randoms.

Some of it was fine and other chats were unpleasant. I did see GE/J and he asked the right questions, how was I doing and what was happening.

I mean I wasn't about to share but it was still nice to be asked. For me very few people are trustworthy enough for me to bare my soul with.

I decided to hell with the judgements it's 2025 now and when asked what's my profession? I just said I don't work but I do write and blog daily.

I mean to be honest I don't publish daily but I do find that I'm writing almost every day, it's continuous and I'm dedicated to it, so I see it as a job, but not a chore.

And not as some men say a "hobby." I'm consumed with being creative and it's not meaningless to me.

It's my life.

That was kinda major for me because in the past and still now, when I said I wasn't working...... These were the assumptions..

Oh you're a millionaire?

Oh you're a prostitute?

Oh you're a golddigger?

And I don't feel the need to justify myself and say, Well no, actually I'm severely ill with multiple health issues that impact my daily life and limit my actions throughout the day and night.

The other assumption was that my writing must be stupendous for me to be a lady of leisure.

Incorrect I'm just bloody careful with money. I live within my means.

And although I would love to be a talented writer. I'm not sure I'll ever get to that level.

What I do know is I like my way of sharing tidbits. I like how it unfolds.

I hope it's engaging. I hope that you want to come back for more but I don't assume I'm so great that it's addictive.

Anyway I did get talking to someone new and he didn't ask the personal questions, which I was relieved about.

We mostly just joked around and had a laugh but then he got a lil too comfortable with me and started doing the jokey insults.

I don't mind being teased but insults are a different story. He started calling me dumb, bitch and other things.

That's not all in good fun humour, that's more I don't respect you and you're beneath me and I'm laughing at you.

Which are extreme button pushers for me. I repeatedly told him, not to use those terms and he carried on so for the last time today.

I've outlined it and said, If you do it again, see what will happen to you, which means a permanent block.

But I shouldn't have to repeat myself and why is it a go-to thing to tear a woman down and make her feel bad?

Why couldn't he have said something less hurtful? So eventually he apologised and said he read my tone wrong, thought I was alright with it.

And I thought, Hmm, well it is open to interpretation online but I still felt I was pretty clear.

Then things get a lil uneasy between us but as soon as he makes peace and things return, he reverts back to the same name calling.

You see I don't understand that. I've told him I don't like it and also it seems like he's only happy being flirty.

When I steered the conversation into hobbies and interests, it felt like effort.

It should have flowed but it was so unnatural. Then he repeated the same question back to me.

Couldn't you have thought of another topic? Then after I answered, he went back to flirting lol.

Why do I have to constantly teach men how to behave towards us women?

Well I saw him tonight and things came to a head. It's like on one hand he's making the effort and then on the other hand, says I have a low opinion of you.

That was the final straw and I said, You seem to just love being nasty to me and I've had to keep telling you to knock it off, whether it's jokey fun or serious.

I don't feel sad by his comments, more annoyed. I prefer relaxing silly chats, not someone coming for me.

Maybe with the next woman he will readjust his attitude or carry on just being the same.

I didn't give him time to apologise or make amends because frankly I had this conversation over and over and you either learn from it or repeat the mistakes.

And I warned him if he carried on, there would be consequences.

That's what chat life is, good and bad but sometimes, you get a good chuckle.

Oh and I definitely did retaliate back with the meanness. When called a bitch, I call them a boring bastard!

Equals the playing field, but again, I don't want to be tense and rowing, I just want to have a decent chitchat and unwind for the evening, cast my worries aside temporarily.

He seemed to be doubly invested, which makes it odd, the way he was talking to me.

But again this whole thing reminds me of back in the day, when I didn't like myself that much and I attracted this sort of character from friends and potential love interests.

At first they played nice and were complimentary and then I let my guard down and it was ruthless character assassinations.

They wanted to keep me down so I didn't realise I could do better and form healthier relationships.

I guess I want to say to you, be careful who you have around you and watch out for people that are nice on the outside but keep attacking you slyly and pretending they are joking or accusing you of being too sensitive.

Lots of duplicitous snakes around masquerading as honourable people.

And you don't deserve that at all. I didn't and still don't!