#BlogLife1027 - Hour later Sainsbury stop holding my food ransom..

Oof this is ridiculous. I was starting to get really hungry, then as soon as the food came, 1 hour later, not peckish.

That steak and caramelised onion and veggy sandwich is quite tasty, mild sweetness, good crunch, nice salad, no tomatoes.

I'm glad I got that, the price.. Eeek £5.50 but very thick. I probably should have looked to see if it was on the meal deal too but I was tired and the page was acting up..

I had half and I'm bloated but I was dying to try the Yo Sushi spicy chicken dragon rolls, really tame, which I like, great seasoning.

7x chunky rolls, lettuce, cucumber, teriyaki chicken, I would get that again too, the other brand was probably a tad nicer but I like them both.

As usual the sauce, yuckity, I tried it for kicks, that's where all the extra calories, sugar and salt is, no thank you.

It tastes like rank cheese sauce, ick. (gochujang mayonnaise it was). The sachet is kabayaki.

I'm going to bin it without trying it, otherwise I might vomit.

The chocolate flapjack bites are alright, too sweet, minimal chocolate but that's ok with me, maybe I should have bought plain..

I better order the real groceries for tomorrow. Wow wow wow. Iceland has finally got some Indian desserts in stock, I hope it's permanent.

Plus pistachio croissants..... What, craziness :) And baklava, these are firsts, never ever seen those.

Plus gulab jamuns. Forget the cakes, that's what I'm getting.

Pricey but interesting.. Hopefully lots of time to try them, one by one, well depends what I fancy..

Oh cripes, I had a feeling I wouldn't like it, that's why I never bought it before.

Reese's peanut butter cups, yuckity!! Sickly sweet, chocolate, sugar and peanut taste.

It's almost like biting into a cake. I don't know if I can face the second one, too too sweet.

I enjoyed the majority of my Sainsbury's haul though and now I know what offers are there incase I feel extra poorly/knackered and don't feel like standing around placing an order in the Market.

Ok just got my groceries and unfortunately the regular driver wasn't there so the other one brought the crates and I had 3 bags with me.

At least he helped me quickly bag them, I was slow and bending down was horribly painful on my back.

Everything was almost in stock aside from the chicken pies and the yoghurt I picked out,

No replacement pies but they did give me an alternate yoghurt but not a deep one so awkward for the granola to be poured in.

I wish they had just doubled on the other one but it means fresh foodie reviews..

My stomach has been cramping hard since yesterday so I don't know if that means I'll have a period or not.

I hate that it's getting warmer and warmer, soon I'll have to dig my fans out and pack away the blankie.

It's just so helpful for the body pains, I'm going to struggle without it.

I miss winter so much :(

#BlogLife1026 - He wasn't there to yell at me..

Song of the day - Faouzia - Porcelain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg95iQIm3NA&list=WL&index=83

I really like this song. I was going to add it last week but I forgot.

As I'm going to be lifeless when I get back tomorrow I'm trying to pick out things for brekkie/lunch from Sainsbury so that I can quickly order and hopefully it will arrive sooner rather than later.

It's a good job I perused because I didn't even realise, the chicken sushi is part of the meal deal woop.

£6.50, mains, snack and drink which isn't too too bad, pricier than Tesco but that's inclusive and what I fancy so that will make it overall cheaper as the sushi alone was just over a fiver I think..

I'll probably add flapjacks, cupcakes, and crisps, maybe cereal bars and a wrap or pasta dish so that the meals for the day are easy.

And then I will budget with the £10 off and hopefully spend under £10 for all that.

I'm tempted to buy pakoras too but I need to use the voucher before it expires and I'm trying to spend minimally..

I got it so wrong. It seemed warmer so I didn't do triple layers. Yeesh big mistake it's freezing.

My stomach is churning, dreading what hoops I have to go through and if he reported me for missing the meeting.

But I feel less agitated because the driver was in a good mood and beamed at me.

I don't usually make eye contact but the oyster card didn't seem like it was processing.

So I looked up and his reaction Yep it went through. Ugh ordered the food and they keep putting the time further away.

I don't think grocery places prioritise Just Eat orders. Anyway I'm not starving, just peckish.

It's funny I had to try about 3 different branches to get the sushi and the third or fourth had it.

No cake but the flapjacks were there, I also got pasta and saw a steak sandwich, I thought I can't get chicken everything..

Oh and I've never ever tried Reese's peanut butter cups, as they were part of the meal deal, why not ha.

Nearly a fiver for service, bag and delivery, £14ish altogether and I used my £10 voucher.

Six items. I love saving money. Oof just before 11am, placed the order, 20 minutes later, not out for delivery..

Here is what happened at the UC appointment. I was on time, waited downstairs and saw the formerly mean guy, who had a lobotomy and is nice now..

He said they've all transferred upstairs and why couldn't I use the stairs but not rudely, just routinely.

(There's supposed to be a note on my account to say I have disabilities and cannot use stairs).

They still bloody ask though, so I apologised as usual for making them come down, it's what's expected..

Grovel to beg for leniency when it's a valid reason. Anyway, I went all graphic because I'm sick of explaining myself, repeating it over and over.

I just said calmly, I have disabilities, bones that never healed and I feel like I tear when I climb......

All true but too much information and he said We weren't aware of your conditions (pffft)...

We'll transfer you downstairs and you'll see someone new.. (Please let them be respectful towards my health)...

Please please please. I don't need the added stress and disbelief and disrespect.

So probably I'll get my order in just under an hour, 30mins has passed.

My tum is talking, grumbling it wants food now, tsk, I'm trying to concentrate.

I'm gonna be so sad if things are out of stock.. Everything arrived, it took about an hour in the end.

I'm not feeling that great, the hand pain is off the charts so I don't want to type but I have too, for this and the UC crap.

I had bad cramps all weekend and it's not great when you're trying to sleep and your stomach is just hurting.

Plus I don't know which binaural beats to listen too... The pmt one? The cramps one or the anti nausea..

Oh and I should put on the hand pain one, which means I can't play music or videos to distract me from it..

#BlogLife1025 - It's me isn't it? Always the cause..

Cripes I was hoping my brain would let this go, same crap, different day, yeesh.

Why can't I ignore it? Why do I let it penetrate my psyche? My good mood?

One lil sentence and I'm all riled up, the rest of the conversation falls on deaf ears....

Pfft. I was talking to Mama, and of course she brings up the two sibling nitwits I've repeatedly asked her not to mention.

I wish she wasn't so thoughtless and cruel. I wish she had empathy for someone other than her friends, like me for example.

She said one is going travelling with her, I couldn't care less, in April, she's off to see family in a few different countries, good for her, she's happy when she's jetsetting.

I just don't need to hear about the companion and then she said Ah got the new phone, I'm giving the old one to him....

I know you don't like him but as he's got a family now, he's must have matured......

Good grief she puts it all one me, all the blame, all the cause. Fricking hell I am so angry.

Why does she do that?? There are lifelong reasons for my hatred!!

WTF! All my pain, fear, lack of self worth is nothing to her. The fact that I wanted to disappear, the fact that I punished myself for being unlovable....

Certain things I will struggle to forgive her for.. The lack of being able to talk, share, get close to anyone, routinely knocking my confidences, day in and day out...

Mama you are one heartless person. You destroy me, you really do!

Why do you never choose your words carefully? Why should I be just an afterthought??

You have such care and consideration for others, yet you treat me like crap!

I'm sick of going over this but until I write it and share it, it lives in my head and I can't escape the bitter distaste.

You choose to alienate me and maybe I've finally worked out the reason why.......

You want me to make it acceptable, you're waiting for me to apologise and say, Actually I deserved it, it was all my fault..

Screw that!

Go to hell!!

I'm not going to blame myself anymore.

And I don't care about your justifications, or that time has moved on, or that you want to think of yourself as a better parent than you actually are.

I am sick of all of it.

I grew up blaming me and you allowed and encouraged people to treat me like dirt.

Why? Because you had no bloody backbone, therefore I couldn't develop one either.

I should be normal, I should want to be around others but half the time, I can't even bloody speak.

I am racing out the door to rush home to feel safe! My mindset, my go to is always going to be to deflect and keep people at a distance.

Be tough and aloof and not permit them close enough to wound me because half the time, I barely feel able to stand, physically and emotionally.

How can I lean on them? I can't even share the basics. Plus that voice in my head, saying...

You're an idiot..... Guess where I learned that mentality from...

#BlogLife1024 - Unscheduled maintenance

An acquaintance recommended some shows, one was Gilmore Girls, the rest I can't even recall..

I checked out the first few episodes, it's very slow and you'd think the focus would be on several main characters, not just 1 or 2..

Seems bizarre a teenager casually drinking alcohol and coffee, then having a pager but not a mobile phone..

And the other thing that annoys me, the parent acting like a kid, and the kid having to be the mature one ughhh, really winds me up.

But I love that Melissa McCarthy is in it, she is amazing. The central character annoys me, she's too flighty and seems like she has a condition like bipolar, very up and down and reckless.

I knew that she wouldn't commit, I thought it was pathetic, she was approaching her other love interest and her ex, expecting them to beg her not to do it and that backfired, they were happy for her.

She wanted to sabotage or have an excuse to call it off because she's running scared.

Then when the ex had matured, it's like yea, let's tell him I was waiting for him because all the others were just filler, ugh.

Then the daughter is just the same commitment phobic and cheating.. Ickity.

The only reason I'm watching it is because there's no other shows that interest me and I'm sick of watching old show reruns.

I tried the Lancashire Farms greek style yoghurt, I don't like it. It reminds me of Activia and I still remember that making me feel queasy because it was so thick and I was struggling to eat and keep anything down, the other one is thinner and much tastier.

That made me laugh because I didn't get my pieces prize from Looney Tunes aka Scopely, they said I could re-pick and go for legend toons if I wanted to compensate..

Pfft as if I'll get this prize, so I always go for what toons I haven't unlocked, sneaky way to avoid paying for them, I don't spend money on the game.

I chose 200x Luger Claude because he's a paid battle pass toon. Free players eventually get them but I'm impatient.

200x Executioner Toro, again battle pass toon and lastly 200x Thoro for the exact same reason.

Quick update, ugh I ate too much, I thought I was really hungry but nopity.

I decided to make a sandwich with the ginger soy chicken pieces, it only needs 7 minutes to reheat.

I put it in a croissant with mayo and cheese and now that it wasn't overcooked, it's very soft and tasty.

Not salty as I was expecting, delicate mix of seasoning, probably needs a bit more ginger but I would definitely get that again. Yum.

I just heard back from the landlord, looks like they will call for an appointment for tomorrow, not today, thank heavens.

It's the walls in the living room so hmm. I'm hoping it's a quick patch job.

Cripes, they will probably unplug the wifi, I'll have to figure out, which plug/wire goes where... (They don't tend to re-plug it).

At least I have tons of data to use, 5gb I think..

Ugh, they were supposed to call and mention a time frame for tomorrow as usual nothing..

So I'm supposed to what..... Just be at home waiting, they may or may now randomly show...pfft..

#BlogLife1023 - Not what I was expecting..

So I have the last bit of cleaning to do, sweeping or mopping and I just don't want to do it.

I should take an old rag, wet it and just move it across the floor. I'm not trying to make it perfect just presentable for tomorrow's appointment..

Disappointingly a few things were unavailable from the Iceland shop, handwash, kitchen towels, boo, I'm running low on those.

I just thought I got a bonus item but then I realised it was the Desime pani puri gol gappa.... (£4).

Giggles, this was not what I thought it would be. The picture was blurry, but I thought it was mini flatbreads..

Err nopey, it's balls of plain bread but seasoned, I was hoping it had potato.

It's light, like a crisp, very strange to me. I've never seen it like that before, at parties, they would cook it incredibly thin and you'd have it with curry, vegetables and it was like a roti, but different.

A drier taste but very tasty, it was one of my favourite things to eat, so I guess this is like a snack or appetiser?

I don't know if you would pair it, dip it or have it on it's own. I think it's already cooked lol, I've no idea.

I have a feeling according to googly these are typically stuffed with potatoes, curry, chickpea or onions and then dipped into a raita, yoghurt or tamarind dip, interesting..

Well it's something different. Oh and the Lancashire Farm greek yogurt is a tiny thing, no wonder it was 89p. I didn't understand the complicated lid, so I cut it open.

I bought the Choee strawberry super mix to try £1, 200g bag but it wasn't in stock, they sent me Maoam fruit and cola 140g bad bit smaller.

The Mornflakes nutty granola and the Iceland soy and ginger chicken will all be fun to try.

Plus Light and Free Greek style fat free strawberry yoghurt, it's been a while since I had chilled stuff.

Oh my that is lovely, even before you open the granola that wonderful oaty smell hits your senses and takes me back to my youth.

It's got loads of nuts, almonds, cashews, walnuts, really crunchy, with Jordan's it had larger clusters, this is mainly tiny bits, so less able to eat from the bag, more designed with milk or yoghurt but I'm glad I bought it, even though I am freezing..

At first I thought it was slices of coconut but I'm so happy it's not, it's walnut which I don't mind at all because it's not bitter, this will last a while hopefully.

That made a perfect blend, the Light and Free yoghurt you wouldn't think was fat free, it's very tasty and doesn't taste artificial to me, nice strawberry flavour.

I just tipped some granola inside the pot and had a perfect serving.

The addition of the nuts is great, very plentiful, I would recommend it.

The Maoam stripes fruit and cola, has a nice fruity juicy flavour, but really hard, it looks like gum, not something I would get again.

But the more I eat it, the nicer I find it. Very chewy but tough, the sweet flavour is probably like starburst/opal fruits, really nice and refreshing. It's not cola though..

The sticky gingers are small strips, and actually sticky but not unbearably so, oops I can't rate it because I overcooked it.

Ha, it probably only needed less than 10 minutes and I did it over that.

It has got a nice flavour, probably needs a bit more ginger but it's nicely seasoned, I guess I would have liked bigger strips.

I have a feeling when I do it next time, it will be a recommendation.

Ok just as I was settling down, missed a call from the landlord, called back, they've set up a repair and this one wasn't a mistake..

(I was hoping they were double checking that I had the surveyor appointment, I wanted to mention waiting 2 bloody hours)..

So I wonder which of the faulty things they are going to get around too?

Broken plug sockets? There is 2 of those. The bedroom light which hasn't worked for years?

The damage to the walls? The damaged bath tub? The wall shower drainer that doesn't drain?

I'll find out when they call me back but it's scheduled to be fixed by tomorrow.

I feel nervous once more, if it's in my room, I'll have to stand in another room..

If it's the bathroom right next to my room, I'll hear every coming and going noise, anxious that they will burst into my room without knocking.

If it's in the living room at least that's a bit further away. As usual I don't want to eat.

Anything to do with the bathroom I push all the things on the edge into a bowl in case it gets knocked onto the floor.

Toothbrush, toothpaste, face brush, handwash lol.

#BlogLife1022 - Yay got my second £10 off/2 hours late!!

I was beginning to think I botched the discount and wouldn't get another £10 off a grocery shop but nope it just got delivered to my inbox and it has a decent expiry date, not until the 4th March..

Two weeks to use it, so probably Friday after my UC appointment, I'll be shattered then and can get some snacks, anywhere but Waitrose but damn the food was delectable..

If I don't find anything appealing, I'll be tempted to give them another chance but I'm normally really hungry, I don't want to wait 4 hours to eat and then relax, no thanks.

Sorry about Thursday's no show, there was nothing in my head, I think I'm just consumed with Sunday's nerve wracking appointment.

Are they going to be civil? Rude? Creepy? Will there be more than one of them?

Ahh interesting, probably because there's an Indian holiday, Iceland are selling Pani Puri, mini flatbreads, I'm not sure if they are filled with potato.

But I've gone off bread and rolls, so this seems fun. £4 ouchy. I hope it's nice, I can dip it or have it with cheese or meat..

You're probably supposed to have it with curry. I'm used to the bigger, thinner versions..

Ok as usual, I left the cleaning and thought it would be easy to do it in one day.

It took an hour to do my room because I was going after every patch with paper towels to dry it and it's still not spotless but I can't do anymore, I don't physically have it in me.

Suffice to say, my back is killing me, my legs are barely functioning and I'm very weak.

But I'm going to take a break. I hung out the washing. I'll do the grocery order for tomorrow, surprising how lil I have of cleaning products.

I want to clean the bathtub and then leave the rest for tomorrow. I have a feeling I shouldn't do anymore exertion today..

But I so want it over and done with.. Ugh I am definitely done now. Cleaned the tub and with all that productivity, I can eat and relax.

I'll sweep the floors tomorrow. That felt never ending.. I can't remember if I mentioned this, but I'm trying out nutty granola to see how it compares to Jordan's crunchy oats.

I used to love that with yoghurt, it's the wrong season because it's still cold but I wanted a kinda snacky fulling thing, that would last a while and cereal is a good thing to get to stretch the budget.

No fruit pieces though, Jordan's dominated in that respect because it wasn't really dry, somehow they made it tasty juicy and sweet.

Never found anyone else that does that. It was a bit too moreish though, I used to really heap up the bowl.

Anyway foodie reviews if it arrives.

Ugh I am pissed 9-12pm was the appointment time for the surveyor and it's now past 1pmish.

No call, no text or email, yeesh you could have said sorry it's cancelled something came up..

But it's the bloody waiting around, I've been stressing and sore all weekend.

And now, I didn't connect the blankie as I didn't want the wire in the way..

I haven't eaten because I didn't want to be messy. I don't want to clean anymore or mess everything up.

I want to change and relax, this ruined my Sunday. I'll have to call the landlord on Monday and say they were a no-show, for Pete's sake, I wanted it over and done with, yeesh.

What is wrong with these people???

I just got a call, he'll be a further 30 minutes late and apparently will take 5 minutes, I thought it was longer but at long last after 2pmish I can relax....

Yeesh long day! Ugh that was so horrible. I'm glad it was just one of them but the faffing about and disorganisation made it last longer.

You kept me waiting for 2 hours at least could you stop wasting more of my time?

Coming in and then going back out because you need your tablet and then waiting for it to load, good grief.

While I felt so yucky, anxious, nervous, vulnerable, ick. I just stayed near the door and out of his way.

He looked everywhere and then re-visited the lounge/kitchen and bedroom, I didn't understand that and every time I heard a door open/close I literally jumped out of my skin.

He was polite and everything but my safety was not reassured.

I'm so glad he's gone, 5 minutes my ass, it was 10-15 with the nonsense and the funny thing was, he didn't measure anything nor did he seem interested in the boiler..

It was something about the bedroom and the lounge or kitchen.. Very suspicious...  Because the whole reason for the appointment was allegedly to measure the boiler and generally take pictures and I don't think he did any of it....

So what was it really about? To spy on my home? I doubt if it's to make improvements or fix anything.

Liar landlord!!

Yay I can finally eat but not much because my stomach is still churning, tomorrow I'll eat properly, today, I'm not going to force it.

At least now I only have to spot clean because everything is done.

#BlogLife1021 - Ever changing appetite

Hmm I'm not sure how to rate the Chicago Town bbq chicken mini deep dish pizzas..

It's not bad, it beats plain cheese. I guess I wish it was more seasoned, the chicken especially, bit bland, considering it has peppers too which is a really nice touch, maybe it needs a dip?

I probably would get it once in a while because it's the only chicken mini available, which is sad really, chicken lovers not catered for... :(

The wifi seems smooth and steady, I didn't have problems with the call. 

It bounced a bit from medium to strong signal yesterday and now from medium to weak but everything is loading quickly enough, Youtube was being a pain but it typically is..

What a difference having fun new games on my phone is, I feel so much more chilled.

I'm waiting for my appetite to kick in so I can make the toasties, it's extra cold today.

I should have been playing foodie videos in the background, that usually kickstarts it but when writing I don't want to hear talking so I play noisy asmr or music that isn't English.

I forgot to review the Bartons silverskin mini onions. I haven't been brave enough to add it to sandwiches, I'm not sure it would enhance it so I've just been eating it solo.

It's so vinegary it makes me cough but aside from the brine, it's not bad, crunchy, hint of sweetness and a good amount in the jar, that will last me ages. 

I think it was just under £2 for a 450g jar. I also bought Seabrooks sea salted £1.60 for a 6x pack of crisps.

That's not bad, nice and crunchy, not much salt which I love and a light taste with a good flavour.

I would recommend them. Hmm I didn't realise, I bought the small loaves of bread, I thought they were medium but I don't mind too much.

At least the whole slice of cheddar covers it and I can have 2x at a time and not feel sickly full.

Companies are so dumb, I just logged in to one and it said We've blocked your access, then an email says, You're using a new location is it really you?

It's the same bloody location I always use, twits!

I had an odd experience with the toasties, last time I feel they burned slightly, so I undercooked them, but they didn't crisp, instead felt a bit soggy, maybe because they are so thin?

I'd rather burn them or cook them well, I just hate standing there waiting for them to be done, I don't have a timer and have to keep manually checking so it gets wearisome fast.

I've gone off the Ritz and Tuc biscuits, I'll stick to the Jacob's crackers.

#BlogLife1020 - Trying Waitrose.. Never again! 4 hour wait

I am the opposite of fancy schmancy and this is an upmarket shop, they predict from 40-60 minutes which is a lot longer than the 15-20 minutes I usually get.

But Iceland was sold out of bread and I wanted to make toasties so I had to decide on Ocado Zoom, which has Waitrose stuff I think or Just Eat which sometimes has no minimum spend.

Thankfully what swayed me was I remembered I had a £10 voucher from Just Eat and if I use it before the 25th I get another £10 off which is really handy for a small top up shop or to get snacks.

It's really horrible to use, difficult searching for things with a huge lag, so I couldn't be bothered to use it for long, they didn't have the usual things I wanted like chicken samosas or spring rolls..

And I really fancied sushi, at first I was going to get plain avocado but that seems boring ha...

I've been wanting to try chicken katsu dragon rolls x6 so I bought that from the Taiko brand £5.70 for it, ouchy but I had to make up £15 I think so I could be frivolous really..

They also had jam doughnuts for £1.60 x5. The bread was x2 for £3.60 yowser.

Lastly there was a chicken and avocado sandwich so I thought yay I get my avocado fix after all for £4.80 yeesh.

The bag fee was 40p, the delivery fee was £5 (are you insane)?

The service fee was £1.72 and altogether it was £22.81 but with the tenner off £12.81 which is much better:) for 5 items really.

Interesting they've added a delay to the time. I don't feel hungry yet so that's fine, by the time 1pmish rolls around maybe I will be.

Just as I typed that the time reverted back ha. I hope they find my place ok and everything is in stock.

I feel tired today. Oh I was going to get the soup, shoot I should have looked at the beauty, lip balms and face washes..

Oh well next time. 1 hour 20 minutes from 11.40am.. Still waiting.

Once it's passed the 2 hour mark, I wish they would just cancel so I can use another grocery store.

At this rate everywhere will be closed and I'll have to wait until tomorrow.

I won't choose them again. Oof I really thought they were going to refund me and cancel it but it arrived.

It's silly but I was kinda hoping they would throw in extras, for keeping me waiting, no apology, they found my place just fine but yeesh, horrible service.

I can't believe it took 4 hours. I hate to say it because I'm mad at them but the doughnuts are really soft and sweet, very sugary which they usually skimp on..

The price £1.60.. Hmm I guess that's not bad. The chicken avocado sandwich I think it was with rocket leaves that taste of nothing, I picked out.

The avocado and chicken though was soft and tasty enough, I would maybe get that again, providing I had a discount, £4.80 is a lot..

Considering most places do a meal deal, where you would get a drink and a snack for the same price all included, it's pricey.

I had to try the chicken katsu sushi rolls and again, it's got a bit of a crunch and is seasoned nicely.

I would get that again for sure. A really nice balance of flavours.

7x pieces included and a dip and a sachet. It expires tomorrow, wow they could have given a reduction on that. Meanies.

The dip is sweet yuckity, not sure of the flavour because I'm not trying that again.

Sweet chilli or sweet and sour I don't mind but anything else puts me off.

I am knackered, washed the sheets and duvet at long last, changed the bed, hung out some washing and that's it for today.

At least that's done, I was only going to change the duvet, but I thought let's do it all with loud party music.

Tomorrow maybe the floors or the bathroom, I hope the bedlinen doesn't take long to dry.

I should eat soon but I'm not peckish yet. It's funny I forgot I had like a burgundy sheet and it matches the duvet cover which is supposedly grey but it looks like a light mauve, happy accident.

#BlogLife1019 - Off on off period after 2 months../BT renewal

I think what's making me feel even worse is that I'm lightly spotting but it keeps stop-starting and that was it, 1-2 days and it finished.

Two months of nothingness that I was hoping it stopped forever. I'm in my late forties, it could happen..

It's never been regular, skipping a few months is nothing out of the ordinary..

Having multiples periods in a month is also routine for me, mine's just odd, it can't make up it's mind.

It can be the lightest or heaviest flow and it's the same with pmt, bloating, cramps, nausea, fatigue, chocolate or sugary cravings..

It just tends to vary one month to another..

Oh that was craziness, so that's why BT was calling I didn't know my contract with broadband was expiring soon.

I thought the mobile and the broadband was at the same time but I just realised I had to wait to upgrade because I wasn't getting a good offer.

I'll pay a pound extra, get a new hub/router thingy, whatever you want to call it.

It's ridiculous £10 for delivery yeesh, but there is 2x free engineer appointments, 1 per year, that's good.

Allegedly they guarantee wifi or £100 back, it's a pound extra but at least it's not much higher, I was hoping for lower.

But the offer that made my eyes pop out, if only my mobile contract was over..

I pay £18 now, he offered me £10 a month and 20gb of data.... What on earth!

Decades ago, they wouldn't give you any data, or would charge you so much more for it, that it wasn't affordable..

Now the running joke when they ask if I need data? Not much 1 to 2gb would do, is they keep increasing the amount.

From 6gb, to 5gb and now offered 20gb? Lol, ridiculous.

But because my contract isn't over, I'd have to pay cancellation fees so it's not worth it to have 2x contracts..

But wowser what a deal, a tenner a month, amazing. I will definitely call BT and not EE from now on.

Although only EE does the phones, that would be nice if the deal is still going, doubtful but handy.

I hope the router is easy to fix up, I dread doing that. I'm hoping also that, it improves the wifi, it's not great at present.

We'll see. I gotta hustle and finish the UC stuff so I can start the Looney Tunes event.

Plus I really should eat some food, it's lunchtime. I'm definitely feel tired and sore today as I expected too.

I don't want to do anything but lounge. I have some cleaning to do, I'll see how I feel over the weekend.

I just booked the grocery shopping for tomorrow so that's done.

There might be foodie reviews next week, well this week, when this is posted..

Ugh idiots, I told the landlord to text or email when the stock condition people were due, checked the post and missed another appointment.

No notice at all, twits! I got most of the neighbours mail again, redelivered that.

The shopping came, the chicken pizza was in stock, yay... The bread to make toasties was not.

Either I'll use Just Eat groceries or Ocado Zoom to buy bread. I fancy sushi but not fishy, but with avocado..

It's all sold out on Zoomy, the avocado one isn't listed, the veggy one is mostly just carrots, doesn't seem exciting.

Oh the router hub thingy from BT is coming later with a special or the ordinary Postie.....

Let's hope they deliver it to me and not the greedy neighbours..

Well the modem was just dropped off outside my door by the time I got to it they had left.

I think I set it up correctly, I decided to use all the new wires that came with it, maybe that's why my wifi is weak..

Maybe I made a mistake it's disconnected once already, if it keeps happening I'll have to call BT.

It's saying medium instead of weak signal which is good and just as I said that it went back to weak, now back to medium ha.

Very rarely has it ever said strong. The thing is while other parts of the country have reported snow, here it is oddly summery, sunshiney and warm.

I guess I will see if there is any difference, whether pages are quicker to load or how much the connection drops.

Plus will this make a big difference to the wifi call reception? Will I be heard completely without someone saying, I can barely decipher what you're saying or you're cutting out..

It's hard to tell with new equipment, I always feel like it needs to settle and find it's groove for now.

I don't have big issues but I know it's especially jittery when I use the microwave, it really hates that.

The box it came in was huge but slim, I was wondering how big it was but I think it's the same size.

I want to bin the old ones, I didn't realise I still had them. I'm also glad they didn't mention upgrading to fibre optic broadband, Mama had that and it's ridiculously bad.

I got to remember to change the wifi on the spare phone as well and that's it, no more devices, 2x mobiles, 1 laptop.

If we're getting bright sunshine in winter, does this mean in summer there will be snow?

I'm just going to add to this as I had a call about the stock condition appointment direct from the landlord.

That was cool because she offered an appointment this week and I thought good get it out of the way.

Surprisingly there were slots at the weekend and I thought just in case UC wants to see me, make it for then and it won't clash.

So I did it for Sunday morning 9-12pm and told her it might take me a while to get to the door, can they be patient and she said she'll let them know and I might get a call when they are on the way.

So that is finally settled at long last. I just need to do a tiny bit of sprucing.

Change the bed, wipe the bath and sink, mop the floors, wash the sheets and that's it.

I hate giving up the weekends, I like to rest and sleep in but this appointment has been weighing on me and finally it will be over.

I'm still nervous about strange men in my place but it's just a routine job, I'll have my phone and earbuds in and try to reassure myself I'm safe.

and maybe avoid the small rooms they are in like the bathroom and bedroom.

That's my plan for survival, as for cleaning, 1 room per day is my manageable plan.

#BlogLife1018 - Sanctioned for being disabled?

Song of the day - Pete Rock/C.L Smooth - They Reminisce Over You 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6mdRv0ZdR8&list=WL&index=85

I know I haven't done a song of the day for ages and I found this by accident, I used to play this over and over for the beat.

A very old song that I forgot about and now added to my playlist on the phone.

There are so many songs I loved and cannot remember the names of them.

Anyway spoke to Mama about the chocolates and she confirmed it, overly bitter and not sweet really and we both like the occasional premium chocolate treat so when we indulge, we want to savour and enjoy it.

Fun Iceland has some new items to try soy and ginger sticky chicken pieces, which sounds nice £4 for a 400g bag, we'll see..

Then finally Chicago Town has a bbq chicken and veggie pizza, maybe they read my chicken lovers idea post, ha, as if :D

£1.75 for 2x minis is good value, cheese, green and red peppers and chicken, fun and no corn, woop.

I'll be surprised if they are in stock by the weekend when I do my shop.

BT keeps calling me but I don't know if it's really them or spam so I've been avoiding it and I have too much to do anyway.

I'll eventually call them up. It's nearly 11am and my appointment was for 10am.

I was there on time for the cv workshop farce. Oh just before that I printed out 3 pages and was charged £3.56 by Ryman's..

What the hell is that about? £1ish per printout??? It was black and white, not gold coloured..

I suspect I was ripped off a tad. Last time it was.. Forget it I can't find it but there is no way it was that much.

Do I have Exploit me and treat me like crap tattooed on my forehead??

Anyway, he did all the printouts except my cv, I've no idea why he didn't do that, yeesh the things I have to do because the library assistants suck!!!

So I didn't bother to wash my hair, I was up early, maybe a few hours of sleep..

And I try to register with the reception bit that I'm here and I'm told it's upstairs.......

My advisor knows full well I have disabilities but he doesn't respect me and seem to think I'm being a lying prima donna.......

I suspect he wants to get me in trouble. Congratulations you sorry excuse for a human being, mission accomplished.

I'll probably get sanctioned for failure to attend. Stairs make me dizzy, and it aggravates my condition, I feel like my insides are tearing.

So I said I can't do the stairs, there are computers downstairs, (I assumed someone would work with me on that).. there is also working lift, they do not let anyone use.

There is about half a dozen security guards doing nothing at all.....

If it's a safety thing, transport, one person at a time, you absolute dickheads!!!

Anyway, the advice was to write a message in my journal to say I can't manage the stairs because of my condition.

(That the schmuck is well aware about)!!! I can see him reporting me spitefully.

Ugh I was supposed to hand over the printouts to him as well. I didn't even pop in to get some snacks I am so peeved!

How is this world so nasty??? I have bills to pay and they'll probably stop my payments for a few months....

I do what I can and I not putting my health and safety at risk. Last time the pain was so bad I could barely walk.

My entire body stiffened up. I can't believe the prejudice. As usual I will update you on what happens next.

I am tired and sore and have lost my appetite, that's nothing new..

#BlogLife1017 - I need to take my power back and reclaim my strength

I feel like I've lost my joy and only now am I getting it back. I'm stressed all the time and that's become my norm and I'm sick of it.

My family, my friends, dating, health, all just taking from me and leaving me empty.

I'm more serious in this mood, less capable of having a silly chat.

There's a guy I semi regularly chat too and because he's a J, he doesn't ask a thing about me.

I've tried to steer the conversation, drop hints and it's like, he's trying to say the supposed the right thing, but really, he's still only concerned about himself.

And I completely lost it, when he said Jeez, You've been hurt or something?

Instead of acknowledging, Hey maybe she wants to have an intellectual conversation.

Instead it's Oh she's lost her mind, heartbroken, so hates all guys and her feelings aren't valid so she's not capable of being rational and coherent.

Ugh I just ended it and said, Women, think and Men don't, we are built differently.

I want to chat to someone real that I can open up too and maybe flirt with and although he says he understands and was following my queues..

He really doesn't because he kept saying Are you ok? Because normally you're fun, he didn't say that last part, but that was the interpretation.

I ignored that because either he gets me or he doesn't, there's no point saying....

Look the truth is, I'm ill all the time. I'm worried all the time. I have trouble sleeping, my brain goes to dark scenarios.

I usually feel empty or not lonely really, just in need of someone to talk too.

I was cold and snippy and said Maybe you need a woman with no brains, so let's not talk anymore.

But then I realise, talking to men that are just asking me personal questions or trying to get me to date them or flirt back isn't helpful either.

I guess I want to be coaxed with the right enquiries. How are you? How's your day going?

My lil bouts of happiness come at the end of the day, where my duties are done.

It's me time, gaming and nothing else matters. No scary monsters in my head, no more bad thoughts about the future.

Just trying to get cosy, switch off and enjoy a lil highlight. As hard as it is to just put aside these things.

I'm going to try. I have to be brave and carry on. I want to make myself proud by publishing a lot more stories and the occasional spoof or serious topic.

Dagnabit, I over ran the bath with too much hot water, now I hope the cold will balance it out, it didn't seem like it will fill that fast.

It's not my day today. I'm trying to be positive despite all these obstacles.

Got to admit, it was a horrible day. Dust blew into my eyes as the bus was pulling up, I barely saw the number and was holding onto things to see.

They had the laziest assistant working at the library, glued to her phone, she didn't want to help me print, she's like follow the instructions on the wall, the others just do it for me and are friendlier.

They made it so bloody complicated, scan this, load this, what the hell.......

She was no help at all, then bloody yahoo is saying we'll text you a code to log in, nothing, nada, by the time they did, I was late for UC appointment and every second question was, Do you have an update?

Asked and answered numb nuts! So me and my big mouth blurted out about the printouts, so he said you can give it to me Thursday.

And he always asks Are you volunteering anywhere? Ugh I've told you that a thousand times, try making notes or paying attention.

He asked how long I do it, now there is no way to answer this question so that it pleases them, if you say too many hours, Oh that's too much...

I said 1 hour, he said Oh you should do 5/6, it's not like you've got anything to do......

Schmucky schmuck shmuckiest. I have writing dodo! Just because you're inept at your role, doesn't mean, I'm not fulfilled in mine!

Ugh I have to leave early tomorrow and get it done via the library or Rymans.

I didn't get rained on though and I was so fed up and drained, I didn't bother go to the cafe or shop, I just wanted to go home, so I ordered Chinese but got a discount and because it took so long, maybe an hour, ha, they threw in prawn crackers too, which was the highlight of my day.

I didn't eat much, I'm not that hungry but I had some opal fruits and a biscuit or two and the rest maybe I'll save for Thursday.

I really miss youtube working on the laptop, I could play asmr or anti nausea or anti cramps, now I have to play that via the phone only.

Oh well tomorrow I can relax and then Thursday I'll probably miss the start of Looney Tunes new event.

Well after complaining on Twitter, Youtube works again on the laptop, which is good because last night instead of listening to sleepy asmr....

I had to play the pmt which sometimes helps settle my tummy, I felt like I had to burp or get rid of the bloating or something before I could sleep and eventually it did help but it was relaxing binaural beats music.

#BlogLife1016 - Pakora egg turkey sandwich (pakeggkey)

I can't think of a clever name for this foodie concoction but the crusty rolls and baguettes turned out not to be crunchy ughh.

That was the only reason to get non wholemeal, oh well I put together a sandwich, my version of the eggy muffin.

But mine had a lil butter, a lil mayo, will bypass that, it didn't need it.

Broken up turkey rashers, think I cooked for about 10 minutes, some egg mayo, some cheese and that was it.

Pretty good but it was missing something, so I had heated up some pakoras on the side and I thought...

Hmm... Dare I add it to the sandwich and I put it on top and yummy, that worked really naturally, the potato, the lil spice kick, the veggies.

Who knew that would be so tasty?! Pakeggkey? Utterly ridiculous name but fabulous meal.

I was even going to add some chicken or beef, so glad I didn't. That was fulling enough, I had 2x, I should have only made one..

But they were smallish. I just tried the last of the chocolates I bought Mama.

The Baci dark chocolate nutty truffle, wrapped in foil, not a strong bitter taste, good blend of nuts but hardly any sugar.

These all taste like diet chocolates, the Divine, the Montezuma, although those two had gone off I think.

I don't recommend any of them if you have a sweet tooth. I might just stick to Ferreros and Green and Black, those were good.

Just because it's dark chocolate doesn't mean it can't be tasty and sweet yeesh.

In comparison the Iceland low calorie chocolate bars still have a great taste and are just a 100 calories or less.

But hardly any of those have nuts, although actually the Kellogs cornflakes one I can't stop buying and that's plain but it hits the spot.

This week will be really long unfortunately, tomorrow is the standard UC appointment.

Then the twit advisor booked me into a group cv session for an 1 hour and a half, 90 bloody minutes on Thursday..

I am going to be in so much pain, going out twice and trying to sit for that long.

I'll be lucky if I don't burst into tears from the discomfort that's going to roll all over my entire body.

He's such a bully, he already scheduled me in for CV support, so why I'm doing another one is beyond me, especially when he admitted it's fine as it is! Ass!

I don't know if I'll feel like posting this week, we'll see. I might get Chinese on Thursday, I don't know.

Yea I'd like to avoid spending money but I don't know if I'll be able to move, after Thursday's meeting, plus it's a group thing I hate those.

I bet he's spiteful enough to book it upstairs. Well forget it, I'm not putting my health at risk to please him.

For reference stairs make me dizzy, big steps or climbing feels like my insides are tearing and lastly, my whole body goes stiff and locks up and the pain lingers for a long time.

The stress is definitely back! Ugh nothing is going right, the wifi is playing up.

Youtube on the laptop won't work but it does on the phone. I'm trying to add attach files to an email to print out and it keeps failing.

I should get ready soon. I hope the UC twit accepts my paperwork, yeesh.

I don't hear anyone else being asked to hand over their phone. I even switch to mobile data and that didn't help, still not saving onto the email.

You'd think I was using dial up or mobile, not regular broadband. Oh doing 1 file at a time worked cripes.

I'm just gonna say the truth, that I'm having trouble with wifi, if he says Oh that's not enough, schmuck.

#BlogLife1015 - Thinking, munching, reviewing

I just tried one of the truffles I bought Mama, it's like a blend of different chocolates into one with a slight bitter aftertaste.

I like it and then I don't. I wouldn't buy it again. Cocoa Loco it was, no wonder she was indifferent towards it.

It's like M&M's meets Terry's and Toblerone, not sweet enough for me. It sounds nice but for the price, I'd rather get a cheaper brand that's tastier.

Next Nik Naks crisps tangy and cheesy, I don't remember ever seeing this one, lemon and scampi, rib n saucy are my favourites.

No I don't like this, too cheesy, it's like Quavers but worse. I'm not a fan, it's crunchy but I'll stick to the other flavours.

Oh by the way, the kebab wrap thing well, the bread was soft and fresh, as was the salad, the chicken just tasted of nothingness lol but good for £3, very filling.

The pakoras were not fresh and slightly tart, must be too much mustard maybe? 

It needs a dip, other than that it's nice, I'll pick up hummus or the onion and garlic one, those would pair well.

I still have the Divine chocolate to try and Montezuma and something else.

But I'm done for today. I'm off to watch Bridgerton and complete the Chatty Chicks..

I think I realised what my issue with the Christmas story is, there's a bit I wrote that sounds like something I've read before and that bothers me.

I want to be original, so I'm going to find a way to rewrite it and make it my own.

The theme is good, I just need to tweak it and after I do that, hopefully it will flow better.

It's not anywhere near done, still at the beginning, but maybe this is the key to working on it and being creative.

I just tried the Montezuma almond dark chocolate bar, yuckityy.

That is the worst one to date, very bitter, not sweet at all and a nasty aftertaste, that's going in the bin..

At least I know now, not to buy these in the future. Oof I didn't like the Divine dark nutty one either, really tart.

But to be transparent I think they both had been spoiled and past the expiry date but I also suspect they weren't sweet enough to begin with.

Maybe I'll stick to milk chocolate for a bit, at least it's less strong and bitter.

Something else I'm craving and it's not available in wholemeal brown version..

Is part baked crusty rolls and small baguettes.

On second thoughts, the rest of the pakoras were ok, they didn't have the extra tangy horrible taste so that's weird.

I just tried peanut pretzels, crunchy, not over salted but I'm not keen on them.

I'll look up the make tomorrow. In the past I've tried Flipz chocolate pretzels and the sweet and salt blended well.

I think I tried cinnamon and that wasn't great. Now this one, I thought it was like scattered shaved peanuts or a filling that was sweet..

Nope it's a random taste of nuts that doesn't belong, there's no seamless flow of sensations it's just an afterthought..

It's not good. Oh gosh, so relieved. I thought the neighbours were misbehaving again and dumped something outside my door.

There was this odour and I didn't want to check but it's gone now and as I took out the bins, there wasn't anything.

Maybe they cleaned it up? I actually wondered if I had a gas leak..

That was stressing me out so much. Then I realised I don't need to freeze the turkey rashers so they stick together..

I can store it in the fridge for a week, so I don't need to cook them all at once, I can just add one or two at a time when I make sandwiches.

And I tweaked the Christmas story, now I'm wondering if I should change the direction, hmm..

#BlogLife1014 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 22 - Bridgerton season 4 part 1

Ha funny, I wasn't sure what I would be talking about and then I was searching for something to watch and I didn't realise Bridgerton was out.

Season 4, four episodes were released in January and the rest 27th February I think.

I don't watch spoilers, I want to guess and be surprised, I can't wait for the Eloise version.

I hope they'll focus on the other siblings too, not just Benedict, I'm not really excited to watch his story unfold sorry..

I'm curious who will be featured, Kate and Anthony? Colin and Penelope? Daphne and 

As I predicted will there be a new even male version of Whistledown?

Monsieur Whisperer? Hmm so Benedict is like a wayward Anthony, except Anthony still fulfilled his duties..

At least Colin, Pen and Eloise are still there, probably not Kate and Anthony as they mentioned their baby is abroad still :(

Oh yea I just realised, with Anthony gone, the responsibilities lie with Benedict after all but his heart isn't in it either.

I guess they don't trust accountants..

I just realised there's been no mention of Lady Danbury's brother who was interested in courting Violet Bridgerton, I wonder what happened there..

I knewww Benedict would end up being bisexual. Called that ages ago.

I guess he can't really end up with a man, it's probably illegal, maybe he's have an open marriage or his missus will be bi as well?

Who knows...

I hate parties but they are fun to watch, am not sociable and it seems this season, they are focused a lil more on the servants too.

But why, unless Benedicts ends up with one.. That's not proper society either though..

Without even watching it, this is seeming more and more like Cinderella...

Masked ball, true identities hidden, someone gatecrashing, where they shouldn't..

The lady in white, is probably going to be Benedict's new love interest..

Yea since when do coachman overstate the word Lady and bow, knew it...

Maybe it will eventually be like a birthright thing that she'll claim, or maybe she isn't a servant, just not high society either..

I guess we will find out..I was hoping they were gonna belt out another Madonna song..

Or maybe she's a love interest for John, Eloise's driver/staff..Hmm

Cute he is there, I can't remember his name, Violet's love interest..

Oh boy so the Penwood Mama is determined to marry her daughter off to Benedict, fat chance, he's still in bachelor mode.

They're probably broke then, two deceased hubbys, maybe she's a black widow, bumping them off one by one lol.

Aha so Eloise declared she wants to be a bachelorette too. Hmm, he's gonna have to be a hell of a catch to win her over, next season.

Good luck to him.

Aww no is Lady Danbury leaving the show to travel? I hope not, she's one of my favourites...

Who could possibly replace her? It's kinda sad to see Pen not enjoying being Lady Whistledown..

I know she doesn't wanna tarnish anyone's reputation, still not sure the secret coming out was wise...

Yowser the Queen said no to Lady Danbury leaving. I love that even Brimsley's wearing a mask ha.

Well, she's definitely Benedict's love interest, they are bonding over feeling uncomfy and out of place.

That's hilarious Benedict being a gentleman and kissing her on the cheek not lips.

And then she plants one on him and scurries off when she learns it's midnight.

Well she didn't leave her glass slipper behind, just a glove..

Omg that's who she is, as soon as she bumped into Lady Penwood, she's either a relative, a servant, or someone hidden away forbidden from attending balls..

And Benedict is of course smitten because she's not pursuing him, she's not obsessed with his wealth or name, she just wanted to have fun at a party.

Aww so she is a maid, and then I reckon it will turn out she's actually an illegitimate relation or some such with a title..

So her name is Sophie.

Yup Violet is set on marrying off her children, especially, Eloise and Benedict.

And the Queen thought Pen was making a bet to see if Benedict will marry and be the diamond of the season.

Got to say Pen looked adorable as the pirate :)

I was gonna binge watch all 4 episodes but it's getting late and I have to be up early.

Two now, two tomorrow, or should I just watch 1 and now go to bed?

I'm waiting for my earbuds to charge and then bed. Interesting that Penwood has one respectful daughter that she neglects and one boisterous like herself that she lavishes attention on.

On to episode 2..

Hmm so it was ok for the step Mama to have kids from a previous marriage but it wasn't acceptable for him?

Sophie's Papa?! Penwood is her Step Mama. At least he introduced her, albeit coldly, ward, instead of delightful daughter.

Men, pfft!!

I do like Sophie's colleagues and I wonder if Benedict is going to recognise Sophie in servants attire?

Seeing as he sketched her from memory and has been daydreaming about her ever since they met, he should.

She's a lil smitten with him too, she just can't afford to admit it, even to herself..

Good grief I thought Violet and her beau would have made progress, they are still acting like polite strangers.

Go courting, or however they wooed back then!

So we all know how this is going to go, Penwood step Mama, is going to figure out Sophie is the one Benedict is searching and will pretend it's one of her birth daughters instead..

Hmm I just realised, ward could mean anything maybe her Mama was a servant too, she passed away and then the Lord of the Manor promised to look after her?

I'm not too sure. Maybe maybe, if I was Soph, I would have tried to bump into Benedict on his own while he was leaving, see if I was recognised..

If not, I could still keep my cover and dignity and not get fired lol.

This is definitely the slowest, least interesting season to date. I had a feeling it would.

It's ok, it's just not edge of the seat compelling, like the others were..

I knew Brimsley would make an impassioned speech to Lady Danbury to reconcile with the Queen.

She's lonely, but she voiced it badly, when she said some people don't deserve kindness or some such, ouchy.

Ohh busted, I knew it was just a matter of time, before the wicked step Mama figured out Sophie's ruse, that she is the one..

There's probably a secret will, that Sophie is not aware exists..

Ouchy, actually I didn't think she would fired for real, dang no wages and slave labour, that sucketh.

Where is she going to go? That's sweet, her friends gave her some money for shelter.

Aww and one of the sisters gave her something to sell, ha she took the glove, good on her.

Holy crap that was Sophie he was defending, I didn't even realise.

I knewww he wouldn't recognise her in servant's clothing. Ha I bet step Mama lied, pfft as if she wasn't in the will when he died.

Well interesting Benedict's playing hero, that had to smart a lil bit when he said I promise I won't even look at you lol

He did preface it by saying, I won't touch you, he is drunk out of his mind, so I guess that can be forgiven.

Oops gotta take off the heating.

I wonder if Benedict is delirious from the fever due to the injury or he finally realises Sophie is the one..

I wonder if Lady Featherington's loyal maid, is really going to leave.

I wonder if the wage increase is worth putting up with a tyrant. Mind you I guess bosses are bossy..

Well Francesca's marriage seems more like a friendship even though they are active in the boudior.

Hmm Benedict with all his insecurities and feeling like no matter what he says and does, it's not enough.

Trying to be honourable towards Sophie but they like each other, especially after the second kiss..

It's sweet that Francesca speaks to Pen about intimate stuff. The sex talks are always hilarious.

Oof finally Violet and beau had their first kiss.

Episode 4

Well he definitely has to figure out who she is, by the glove or the necklace and it will mean a rushed ending.

Not much of them as a couple really. Eeek that's really awkward at first I thought Benedict was gonna find a job for her at Penwood's not knowing the circumstances but working at his home, for his Mama...

Eeek, very cringey. Although at least they are respectful towards their help and actually pay them.

Who is going to discover her secret identity?

Dang, not very discreet, has Benedict finally worked it out? Come on the episode is nearly over and if he hasn't she'll be fired..

Oh no, it's going to be a cliffhanger...

Dang it, you spoiled it, Be my mistress? What the hell Benedict, I hope she slaps him!

Oh man, so the Penwood family is moving next door to the Bridgerton's and Benedict still doesn't know who she is.

I suspect Francesca had an affair with her hubby's relative.. Hmm