#BlogLife1092 - No rest, nitwit/My newest version of a fillet o fish

Good grief, I just checked the next appointment for UC to mark it in the calendar..

Every fortnight it's supposed to be, yeesh, some people only have it every few months, via call lucky so and so's.

It's supposed to be in 2 weeks, this cretin instead of making it the week of the 13th July...

It's next Friday, bozo, that's completely messed up the plans to be away...

Unless it's weekly now, ffs. I would understand if my journal was empty, I was skipping appointments or being uncooperative but I'm not.

My body could have really done with the time off. I don't know if it's a blessing in disguise or not..

I guess I'll see when the next appointment after that is, cripes.

Anyway this was a childhood favourite, when McDonald's stopped using cod in the fillet o fish..

I think out of the Big Mac and the McChicken sandwich, the fillet o fish, beat them hands down..

The tartar sauce complimented it so well and the cheese.. The generic cheaper fish, is rubbish to me.

So when needs must, you adapt. I toasted bagels, probably buttered them..

Cooked 2x cod fish fingers, placed those and some cheese in the finished bagel..

The for a couple seconds, whizzed it in the microwave until the cheese was oozing out the top and it was done.

I honestly can't remember using condiments. I might have added a thin layer of marmite but that's all I recall.

If the egg mayo is in stock, I'll add it to my sandwich, lush and maybe a hint of the burger sauce...

I used to love, umm not sure if it was onion and chive bagels... It was onion and something..

I don't see that now, I switched to the tasteless wholemeal version to be healthier..

But seeing as Iceland keeps being sold out, I opted for alternatives, bagels, crumpets and croissants..

Also instead of white crackers, I decided to get Ryvita. A good source of rye and magnesium, according to Googly..

I did like the taste of that with butter or cheese or maybe I'll try salmon paste..

Or the egg or the turkey rashers.. Food has just lost it's appeal but I'm trying to mix it up..

I just unpacked the groceries, yay G delivered and everything was there, except the waffle fries, yeesh you couldn't substitute any other fries? Ugh..

It might take a day but I'm curious to try the Robinson's ice pole version.

Usually I buy Mr freeze 20x £1.75 but it was sold out, Robinson's is 12x £1.75.

If it tastes fruity natural, it's fine but if it's artificially sweet, it will be a waste of money.

Apple, orange, blackcurrant I think are the main flavours. It's too early to eat.

I think I'm just bloated and sleepy. It's still humid but at least I can use the covers and sleep properly ish..

So I just threw whatever felt right in the bagel, smeared with garlic and herb Philadelphia cheese, added a turkey rasher..

Put some egg mayonnaise and lastly fish fingers and then done.

I think the updated version will be better. I just did one to avoid nausea and not being that hungry.

Got to say, it was fabulous and then for dessert, those Belvita honey, nut, chocolate chip biscuits, perfect, the rest is for later.

Why put 4x in a packet? Just put 2! It's been years and years since I had a bagel, so soft...

I still don't see why their can't be wholemeal versions of these things?

Why no brown crumpets? Or brown muffins? Or brown paninis? Or wholemeal bagels anymore?

If you want the country to be healthier, sell more nutritious items.

My back is still a bit sore, but the binaurals, helped with a sore throat I had and something else, Oh yea, healing the scratches.

The binaural beats playlist is getting longer and longer.

#BlogLife1091 - Record breaking UK heatwave ending soon?

Hmm every day I've been searching for the demise of this damn extreme weather.

3/4 hours of sleep per night is wrecking me. I know up til at least 6/7am I was awake..

Shattered and drained. I kept grabbing my phone to do something but I had zero attention.

I watched the sky go from dark to light at maybe 4amish? I am sick of my clothes sticking to me.

I wanted to charge the fan all night, but I got scared because it keeps overheating and I don't want it to cause a fire..

I took it off at 4am, that's how I know the time. I forgot and remembered about the essential oils but I couldn't locate them.

I don't think I have lemon, maybe just peppermint and maybe another one?

The citrus ones are invigorating but calming for some reason. Hmm well as the heatwave is due to end today (Friday) I guess they won't cancel the UC appointment on Monday.

I would have loved a phone one. It's still baking, I'm sceptical about the weekend being milder..

The UK has had heatwaves before but never like this. I think the advisory was to stay home, unless you need to be out..

I only recall my skin burning once and it was so strange. I never use sunscreen, if it happens to be included in the product, so be it..

It's lunchtime, I should eat because my insides are empty. I'm probably dehydrated from perspiring all night.

I did want to do a bit of writing and volunteering first though. I miss my rolls, it's not the same with toast.

The thing I hate about these mini fans, is that the base is too light and keeps toppling over.

Oh and I finally did most of the washing. The sun should dry them quickly enough.

Pity no notification, the Monday appointment is still on, how will I have the energy for it?

Oof today was rough, the dizziness, no enthusiasm for anything.

I have to look for the aloe vera, I have this scratching compulsion and my skin is all bruised and tender.

I don't know if it's a coincidence or not but as you know, instead of painkillers, I use binaural beats videos.

Healing soundwaves, no ingesting nasty chemicals. Sadly the ones I prefer that are crazily effective..

All seems to have this devil music, the kind they play in horror films, creepy piano...

Ugh I hate it so much. It bothers me on a deeper level I think. I didn't put it together before..

But I bolt awake panicked, like I did this morning 8am and I didn't remember the dream but I just have an inkling..

I'm reverting back to panic attack induced nightmares. When I was in hospital and just out, I got them every night..

I feel like the music is a lil too haunting and it's upsetting my mind.

I've searched for alternatives but they aren't as good, so I have to put up with it.

Ugh my back keeps painfully twinging, I feel like it's going to snap off soon, it really hates bending.

Getting the charger, opening the freezer, picking up fallen bits.

I need blankie's heat but if I put that on I'll collapse. I have a feeling I did have a bit of heat exhaustion..

My appetite is gone, 1x meal per day but I know I need fuel so gonna heat up the beef tagliatelle pasta.

I so want takeout but can't afford it really. It's been a horrid morning with sickiness, cramps, dizziness..

But I think the last 2x nights, I've sprinkled peppermint essential oil on my pillow and truly that has knocked me out for hours.

So happy to get some proper rest. There was no seat on the bus going, I felt so rough.

And then I had a mini panic attack as someone bought a bloody dog and it was right next to me, so a mini freakout.

That should not be allowed unless it's a seeing eye dog. Ugh!!

It still feels heatwavey...  But an alternative UC advisor was there and he seemed human, so I was having an enjoyable chat with him actually..

I've realised what the source of my stress is, it's visiting Mama and not knowing if she'll take a toll on my emotional health..

Ugh I don't want to get up for food but I have too, my poor back.

I know I'll play muscle binaural beats videos.. Let me dream I can afford takeout.....

Here's what I would order salmon avocado or chicken sushi and sod it, probably lemonade, ha

#BlogLife1035 - Be your own best friend

You might have people in your corner, you might not. Perhaps you can't be yourself or fully share how you feel..

I felt mostly abnormal because I didn't fit anywhere and trying to explain that to people, who have no concept of being alienated is just taxing because they've never experienced it.

Make more of an effort is the typical response..... What if you try that and still don't get anything from anyone?

So what I've learned is to be my own bestie and entertain myself with stories, writing, movies, music, volunteering, shopping, pampering.. 

Oh and course gaming, can't forget that lil fun stress buster :) 

I've learned to have fun solo and enjoy my own wacky company and I wish more people would do that instead of latching on to the wrong people or relying on them so much, it's their entire world..

Not nice to suffocate people. Don't do that please. Be whoever you are, popular or unpopular and accept it for what it is.

I was just thinking, the upside to watching an unsatisfying show or movie, is that it spurs me on to write my own.

Not that I'm immensely talented but at least it's simpler and brings me happiness with a somewhat proper ending, depending if I feel accomplished that day..

I'm currently watching Benson, the spin off from Soap, the original sassy employee, ha, silly, but fun.

What always continues to surprise me about binaural beats healing sounds is that, the repair is not always straight away.

Yesterday or maybe the whole weekend, my hands were really tender and painful, I didn't do much except typing and carrying the shopping.

I had binaural beats playing in the background for hours and the discomfort was still there, but I woke up today and they felt so much better.

Typing is still a bit painful, but nowhere near as bad as it was before.

It's probably strange and unlikely to some but sometimes quirky ways help naturally to make you feel better :)

I still feel wrecked today. I slept a bit, but struggled again, I just couldn't get comfy.

My legs and back are hurting a bit. I've got the blankie on but it's going off and on, which isn't helping the pain.

I've got cramps too, the same as yesterday, they stopped briefly and resumed ugh.

And now it's so warm I had to take out the fan, I should switch off the blankie, but I'm so sore...

The drinks are getting warm too fast.. Let's have a nice big rainstorm for the rest of the week please, thanks :)

#BlogLife994 - Are you alone?

Song of the day - Marcia Miranda - Letter To Mama

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3MGd65v3S1c

So now that my supplies have gone down, I can finally do a grocery shop for tomorrow.

I'm just trying to recall what I need and/or what I want to feast on..

I decided to get that onion and garlic dip for the burgers and some baby lettuce to beef up the sandwich and make it more filling.

They were sold out of the cheesy peppers but I got some olives and for a change teacakes, which are raisin type rolls but bigger than normal.

Unfortunately not in wholemeal version but I wanted something different, I was gonna buy 2x packs but bought 1 so I wouldn't waste any.

Plus some beef and chicken for the filling and crackers for snacks and lots of nuts of course to graze on.

Sometimes when listening to binaural beats to heal or lessen the pain, you have to cycle through a few to find one that helps the most.

I put on anti nausea, nope, put on menstrual cramps, nope, the muscle one I use for foot cramps, actually was the best one for the pain.

My tummy has been hurting since I got up really painfully but listening to that one, makes it bearable.

I didn't want to do anything just curl up and wait for it to pass but I had stuff to do and it will probably assist me more now that, hours later the blankie is heating up properly.

I was tempted to get some fizzy lemonade but no I was good, sipping on plain water.

I still have that 2 stone to lose or maybe it's one. I want to measure myself when I'm having a flat morning not when I'm bloaty bloaty..

Yesterday I was watching The Muppets, that adult version documentary type show, with the recent Piggy/Kermit breakup but in the end they reconcile.

I grew up with them, screaming at the television Oh just kiss and make up you nitwits..

For puppets they seemed more human that actors/actresses. Maybe because they made you laugh one minute and feel sad the next, with the exposed vulnerabilities..

I'm trying out Kellog's chocolate cereal bar version, they were on sale £1, saving 25p ha, 4x pack.

and Crown Farms beef burgers, 12x £4.50 have I tried those? I don't think so, seems better value than getting 4 for the same price..

I wonder if they will be more like quarter pounders, the box seems bigger too, will I like the taste?

I hated the chicken sausages.. I'll let you know when I try them. 

I did fancy the burger sauce, but I always end up not finishing those bottles, it's a waste of money.

Oh I should have looked for a mini tub for the burger sauce, at one time they had that in stock..

The cramps are not easing, all day yesterday, last night and now today too, ugh take the pain away please.

The more I watch the spin off channel of Gary/Danny, the more irritated I become..

Ok fine, you wanna have a second collaborative channel, pfft, go ahead..

But reviewing the same foodie outlets as your other channel? Really? What the hell is the point?

There are so many weird and wonderful places to go too and you're doing the exact same restaurants, cafes, fast food over and over.....

Yeesh, how uninspiring!! This might be the hormones talking but it just seems sloppy ideas are all too frequent.

The shopping came in a flash in bags and gosh I'm struggling to stand up.

But everything is packed and I have zero appetite but I'll some hula hoops and olives because I think my stomach is too empty.

And maybe that will end the cramps, please please please..

#BlogLife975 - My tongue is on fire

I don't think I'm going to vomit, I think the food will digest properly.

I finished the dinky spring rolls, I had to eat something to calm my mouth.

He said the raita wasn't spicy, yowser he lied, my face is on fire. It started off fine.

The bread, the naan is so soft, must be freshly made, there was shredded lettuce inside, no red cabbage boo, but at least no tomato.

It's kinda bland and tasty at the same time, needs more seasoning, next time, just mayo, yeesh.

Well that is one way to warm up... Actually I don't think I'll order more, I'm full.

He actually said do you want 1 or 2 kebabs and they are huge, I'm so glad I said one.

It's pretty big for the price and I guess worked out to £1/£2. Strange.

All I had later was the instant noodles Koka original chicken tasty.

I cooked it for 6 minutes and used a lot of water but that evaporated and I realised I would have preferred it more soupy, watery.

I just didn't have the energy to top it up but I'm glad I retried it. I think I've had it before, not sure, I try to use a lot of different brands.

A tip for anyone using binaural beats, I'm starting to find it doesn't always work well on a low volume.

It's mainly background noise and I might be playing music or asmr because the anti video in particular is creepy.

I associate it with horror films and as soon as I start feeling really sick, I stop munching, stop what I'm doing, raise the volume and try to relax.

That just seems to be more effective for me.

One last foodie review before I forgot again. I really enjoyed the softish sweets.

It wasn't sour as some comments said, half sweet, half not so sweet lol.

Fruity and a tiny burst of juice. Bebeto forest fruits, liquid gummies.

It was only £1 for a 130g bag, quite big and chunky and lots inside.

I would get that again. The McVitie Moments, I am not a fan of that range.

It just seems like diet biscuits, not very sweet, needs more sugar.

The cinnamon and spice flavour nice but too light. It's not tasty enough.

It's good value £1 for a 150g block but that's the only highlight. Rubbish.

#BlogLife596 - I broke up with Postie

Song of the day - Olatunji - Kaya

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pIL9kR6aF0&list=WL&index=31

Alright technically we're not romantically involved but the dodo delivered my weekender bag to the wrong address.

Ugh I was so stressed seeing that Delivered message but luckily once again they took a picture as proof....

And I can again prove that is not my door or foot. My door is a different colour and clearly shows the itty bitty number.

But then an hour later they decided to return it to me. Postal theft is a criminal offence after all.

They must have wet themselves when Postie said so your name is SS? 

Great, let me just snap a quick picture and then I'll be off, toodles.....

Bahaha! I was literally reporting it and saying give me a day and if it doesn't show up, investigate it, report it to the cops do whatever because I am not wasting money on a stolen item!!

I am pleasantly surprised, it looked really small at first but it was flattened and folded up so once I put it together, it was longer, deeper and wider.

Plus I'm glad they included the shoulder strap, the less things I'm holding, the better.

I think it sorta looks like real leather, it certainly smells like it and I'm pleased with the overall look.

The real challenge will be with packing it up to the brim. The slippers are supposedly coming on Monday, (today).

And hopefully the purple lippy also. Oh I tried the Chickeny Yorkshire puddings.

Wow out of the whole range, these are the best things. I think I read that included in the ingredients is parsley but it is properly seasoned and very tasty and soft.

I want to grab a drink but Postie is due anytime. I'm not sure if it's the regular or the special van one.

The regular one is normally around lunchtime but this said up to 4pm.

Yesterday I ordered Mama's masala chai tea, I got a big box of 100 tea bags Wagh Bakri is the brand.

I have no idea if it's caffeinated or sweetened, the details are vague but the reviews seemed positive.

There was something about snow mentioned so I'm trying to shop early and avoid the delays but the tracking said....

There are already congested reports, maybe only for the regular post? Or maybe all of it?

I also saw 2x Eclat mud masks for £6, apparently the regular price for one is a fiver.

I don't normally buy the same thing but it proved to be really effective with my skin.

It replenished all the moisture and my face is smooth again. Plus I love mud masks anyway, they are the most hard working product for me.

Gel and standard cream masks don't do anything beneficial for my combination skin.

I'm mostly liking the replacement binaural beats anti nausea video.

I don't really like the noise, to me it's a lil creepy sounding but I'm surprised at the short and long term effects of it, that I didn't notice straight away.

When I feel sicky, it's usually because I need to burp but I'm not able too.

Drinking fizzies was the only cure for me, since the other video was deleted.

Now I put it together that whenever I listen to the video, sure it calms my tummy and I don't feel nauseated but later on it's started aiding me to burp naturally.

That to me is astounding. I'm not even listening to it and in the evening I was burping and this morning I was also.

People would normally pop antacids for this treatment, for the other nicer sounding video, I had to listen to it, in that moment for it to assist me.

#BlogLife584 - Running a day early

 Song of the day - Olatunji/Stadic - Jiggle It

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIwDrYijT2o&list=PL_S79tzxwHpPMvQb_ft0dgOQA7kcRZsUA&index=63

Ugh I hate when companies change their lunch hours. I just called up to pay a bill, only to hear they are closed.

All last week I totally forgot and now it's a lil late. I will try later if I remember, probably after 2pm to be safe.

It has been raining all day and I'm just waiting for my groceries to arrive.

I ordered some new noodles to try Indo Mie, the chicken version as they were 50p.

I also saw cod fillet burgers which are new but I forgot to get them. I think I prefer the thicker noodles, Naked has some new varieties also.

Sometimes I'm more inclined to have snacks as meals. I vary it because something heavy, doesn't appeal to me.

I feel so sleepy. I have to pluck my eyebrows, they are such a mess.

My gums feel better though, I listened to a whole binaural beats video and it helped.

With the anti nausea, which I haven't been feeling sick much these days, I only have to have it on for a short while and I'm cured.

Binaural beats are so varied, they help some people but not others and some videos have an immediate cure and others take from half an hour to a few hours.

Too lil too late, I realised yesterday was in fact Sunday and that's why the offices were closed all day.

I went out thinking it was Tuesday and found my purse was stuck to the lining of my bag and no hard yanking would set it free.

I have to take a scissors and cut it loose, grr. I could not get anything from the market.

To be honest, I didn't really need anything I just wanted to have a look.

It was so strange not to see any stalls, they are doing road works so the market, some of it is closed.

Anyway tomorrow I will go back and try and recall what the purpose of the visit was.

I called up to try and pay my bill yet again, this time I got an answer and was transferred and then it just rang and rang.

Ugh. It's going to be one of those days, where nothing goes right.

At least yesterday was happier, today I must be hormonal, I feel bloated and annoyed.

Oh but on a sweet note, I wasn't entirely sure but I am still losing weight, my clothes definitely feel looser and my jacket is less snug, even bloated, so that's a good indication.

You know what the embarrassing thing is? All day I was looking at my phone, which has the day on it, in big bold letters and I still did not catch on, that today was Monday.

Yeesh!

#BlogLife577 - Doctor/Nurse SS - I'm healing myself

My latest cravings are the hula hoops puft crisps, if you've never tried them, give it a shot.

I just like the original ready salted flavour, I think it's available in beef too but meh, too salty.

And I've just tried the Halloweeny Mr Kipling chocolate orange slices, wow, so so good and not over-sweetened like their usual range.

I just thought it was something different to sample and ugh they were sold out of those yummy Bahlsen biccys.

Ocado actually has the hazelnut version, when I do my next Ocado Zoom order, I'll try it then.

At least the Zoom doesn't cause me any issues, I really quite like the mini shop option.

It always seems to have the majority of what I can't get from Iceland.

Mouthwash at times, sanitary towels, my Radox bath soaks (in different versions).

Plus certain flavoured drinks but actually this time, Iceland surprised me.

For the first time in ages, Always maxi pads were in stock and I wanted to get 3, but only 2 were available but that's still handy.

I still have 2 packs of Kotex pads to use, that is leftover. Also they have never stocked the lemon squash from Robinsons but I saw another make.

It's Swizzels Refreshers. I didn't even know they did drinks, I thought it was just sweets.

Anyway this is a more, an ever so slightly sweeter version, they are both sugar free and it's really refreshing.

But the Robinsons version is tarter and I've gotten used to that, both are still good but that that is the comparison.

The more I use the Badedas all in one shampoo product, the softer my hair gets.

It's a super conditioner. I would recommend it and I will either buy it again or get the Vatika one because their shampoos are impressive also.

I'm quite disappointed and I blame myself that the anti nausea video, which helped me naturally burp, as disgusting as that is, has been set to private.

Maybe the owner wants to monetise or maybe they are closing their channel.

I should have downloaded it. I mean't too and completely forgot.

I cannot find anything remotely effective. I guess I'll have to slow down on my eating, consume less or drink more maybe.

Binaural beats doesn't work for everyone but for me, I would rather search for useful videos, that take any sort of pill for my ailments.

I want to be as natural as I can and not add long term chemicals into my body, doing permanent damage to my insides.

#BlogLife515 - Heads up feministas!!

I checked out a few places but didn't see anything that appealed to me and the only thing in New Look was that green leopard print top so I decided to just get it.

It's not the cheapest at £16 plus £4 for Saturday delivery, the regular was a pound less so I thought I might as well choose a time, I'm guaranteed to be at home.

I hope the sleeves are long, that's one of the reasons I like getting it a size bigger but I'm trying to.. Show the plus size that I am and not shield away into a big shapeless blob.

When it arrives I'll try and take a snap for twitter but that's not really my forte as I can't tell good from bad pictures, with my weak eyes.

It looks as expected, fit loosely and the sleeves go past my wrists so I'm happy, just wish it was lighter and not so dense.

Sometimes I don't consider the ramifications of my purchases. Getting a mud mask in a tub version was such a huge mistake.

It is so awkward and painful to open and shut it. I don't know what on earth I was thinking.

It's so much better to get the tube versions, they are way less taxing for me.

I do enjoy it, easyish to apply, it's just a bit challenging to grab a tiny scoop and smear it on my face.

But after that it's fine and hardens quite quickly. Aside from that black scar on my nose, the rest of my face is soft and clear.

I do need to add moisturiser to my routine to stop me scratching my face but it keeps slipping my mind.

Looking in the mirror, I have mud all across the edges of my hair ha, it rinses out easily though.

What I have been doing for a while now since the cut, is just leaving my hair as free and loose as possible.

Before I would clip it up, back, away and I felt it pulling my hair and making me shed a lot, which is never good.

I had a friend who mainly used to have hers loose and she had the thickest strongest hair and she told me, even when she sleeps, she didn't put it up.

That was back when I had long, long hair and I had to braid it or have it in a tight ponytail otherwise I felt like my lungs constricted.

But now I have shorter hair, it's easier to do that. It makes a difference being kinder to my scalp.

I still have greys, I still have thin patches but I don't think my hair is as thin or see-through as it previously was.

To me that is quite significant so instead of clipping or having a headband, that never stays on my head (I can't be the only one)..

I just leave it free to breathe. Oh and banishing heat was also beneficial.

As was getting rid of combs and brushes and using my hands to untangle and style it.

To be honest I don't get many knots, if any but when I had long hair, I had them all the time.

Having them brushed out always made me scream. It felt like someone was pulling out my roots, eek.

If you have thicker hair, then it's easier to use those tools but I found it so damaging, a bunch of my hair would always come out.

I know some hair fall is natural but it always seemed more than usual and it always felt sorta unclean using a greasy brush/comb on my clean hair.

I had such a rough night. My wisdom teeth were hurting, the humidity was abominable and I couldn't sleep.

I've learn't some tricks over the years, aloe vera is a natural antibacterial product but that did nothing.

I eventually got up a few times to gargle with salt water and that helped a fraction.

Then I listened to some binaural beats on Youtube, it somewhat aided me and by the time I actually slept and woke up, the pain was all gone.

Although binaural beats is a natural healer with the vibrations, you also have to be very careful.

Some frequencies will end up being harmful. Certain high pitched ones I avoid because my whole head was hurting.

I developed a throbbing headache, my ears were tender and I felt worse.

I find the gentlest but most effective versions are the musical types, they also help me to drift off to sleep.