#BlogLife1092 - No rest, nitwit/My newest version of a fillet o fish

Good grief, I just checked the next appointment for UC to mark it in the calendar..

Every fortnight it's supposed to be, yeesh, some people only have it every few months, via call lucky so and so's.

It's supposed to be in 2 weeks, this cretin instead of making it the week of the 13th July...

It's next Friday, bozo, that's completely messed up the plans to be away...

Unless it's weekly now, ffs. I would understand if my journal was empty, I was skipping appointments or being uncooperative but I'm not.

My body could have really done with the time off. I don't know if it's a blessing in disguise or not..

I guess I'll see when the next appointment after that is, cripes.

Anyway this was a childhood favourite, when McDonald's stopped using cod in the fillet o fish..

I think out of the Big Mac and the McChicken sandwich, the fillet o fish, beat them hands down..

The tartar sauce complimented it so well and the cheese.. The generic cheaper fish, is rubbish to me.

So when needs must, you adapt. I toasted bagels, probably buttered them..

Cooked 2x cod fish fingers, placed those and some cheese in the finished bagel..

The for a couple seconds, whizzed it in the microwave until the cheese was oozing out the top and it was done.

I honestly can't remember using condiments. I might have added a thin layer of marmite but that's all I recall.

If the egg mayo is in stock, I'll add it to my sandwich, lush and maybe a hint of the burger sauce...

I used to love, umm not sure if it was onion and chive bagels... It was onion and something..

I don't see that now, I switched to the tasteless wholemeal version to be healthier..

But seeing as Iceland keeps being sold out, I opted for alternatives, bagels, crumpets and croissants..

Also instead of white crackers, I decided to get Ryvita. A good source of rye and magnesium, according to Googly..

I did like the taste of that with butter or cheese or maybe I'll try salmon paste..

Or the egg or the turkey rashers.. Food has just lost it's appeal but I'm trying to mix it up..

I just unpacked the groceries, yay G delivered and everything was there, except the waffle fries, yeesh you couldn't substitute any other fries? Ugh..

It might take a day but I'm curious to try the Robinson's ice pole version.

Usually I buy Mr freeze 20x £1.75 but it was sold out, Robinson's is 12x £1.75.

If it tastes fruity natural, it's fine but if it's artificially sweet, it will be a waste of money.

Apple, orange, blackcurrant I think are the main flavours. It's too early to eat.

I think I'm just bloated and sleepy. It's still humid but at least I can use the covers and sleep properly ish..

So I just threw whatever felt right in the bagel, smeared with garlic and herb Philadelphia cheese, added a turkey rasher..

Put some egg mayonnaise and lastly fish fingers and then done.

I think the updated version will be better. I just did one to avoid nausea and not being that hungry.

Got to say, it was fabulous and then for dessert, those Belvita honey, nut, chocolate chip biscuits, perfect, the rest is for later.

Why put 4x in a packet? Just put 2! It's been years and years since I had a bagel, so soft...

I still don't see why their can't be wholemeal versions of these things?

Why no brown crumpets? Or brown muffins? Or brown paninis? Or wholemeal bagels anymore?

If you want the country to be healthier, sell more nutritious items.

My back is still a bit sore, but the binaurals, helped with a sore throat I had and something else, Oh yea, healing the scratches.

The binaural beats playlist is getting longer and longer.

#BlogLife1062 - Peace at last?

Hopefully by today, they have come and gone. Well it's just gone past 10am, so three hours left to wait.

Time goes slowly when you want something over and done with so you can relax the rest of the week.

I don't even feel hungry, considering I've been up for hours. I did have some pakoras yesterday and it had that pakora taste, yum.

Unlike the last time with an onion bhaji taste, which is not what you expect.

I forgot to dip it but later on, if my appetite ever arrives.

Ah so I remembered that the landlord said that they were doing emergency alarm tests and that's who knocked, an electrician, to say they are changing the smoke alarms and fitting in some contraption.

So I'm not sure about the other appointment. It's 10.30ish and he seems pleasant enough but I left him to it.

I'm glad it's happening on the same day or is this the sole appointment?

It's very confusing. I guess I'll see when 1pm rolls around, if anyone else shows up?

I can't stop yawning and every door slam and noise makes me jump.

The funny thing with the alarm appointment was that they didn't mention needing access to our homes so I felt really weird letting him in......

Hmm, bless that took about 40 minutes and he swept up after the drilling.

Plus he knocked and waited, didn't burst in! What a relief. That took a while.

I think he checked in after he was done because I wasn't expecting it to last that long.

But at least he was friendly, that helps. I don't feel hungry it's just 11amish.

Maybe I'll wait until lunchtime. I'm so confused and none of them offer ID ffs!

It was pretty funny, luckily I had finished the post because the electricity went.

No wifi, the blankie turned off, brrr, freezing and I want to turn on the heating but what if the other one shows up....

At least I had tons of mobile data so that wasn't a problem, I just couldn't use the laptop.

Hmm definite dodginess. I'm supposedly in rent arrears? How how how?

I've not missed payments and the double talk?? I honestly do wonder if the operatives are skimming off the top.

I asked her directly what do I owe? Suddenly it's Ohhhh pay the usual, to cover your arrears of £170 or £40...

There's so much inconsistency.... And then she's like, Ohh next time you'll be in credit...

I don't trust any of them! I don't really know what the hell to tell UC now....

If it's arrears based, that's my issue apparently and not theirs but what if it's lies?

How would I prove it and still have a roof over my head?? I'm not trying to be homeless.

I want to change but I have an hour and 20 minutes left.

It's always so weird when they only have an appointment in my place and not the neighbours...

I don't know if he removed the smoke alarms in lieu of the box, that goes direct to the landlord and maybe the fire department or changed them??

Oops forgot to do the thing I normally do, which is play foodie videos to get me in the hunger mood.

Six minutes and then I guess it will be time to relax because 1pm has passed and there's no text or call..

I'm trying to think back on the call, she mentioned the boiler and then backtracked and said it's nothing to do with that...

Even though supposedly it needs a repair and that was ordered..

Then she mentioned sensors and I'm wondering if that's the electrical fire safety box thingy?

Ok it's past 1pm now. Ugh. Well at 6pmish maybe there was a buzz at the door but it was the stupid neighbours so I ignored that.

Oh yea I better do an Iceland order for tomorrow and even though I ate the salad that was supposed to go with the rotis, it will still be good.

I wonder if I should heat it on the panini press or the microwave?

#BlogLife1057 - Don't apologise then..

I was already up but still in bed at 10ish maybe when the phone rang and this company keeps confusing me.

There are different maintenance companies for different tasks around the home and this one keeps mentioning the boiler but it has nothing to do with that.

I mentioned that Friday I had an appointment with them, where no-one showed or called..

And she was like, Oh did you make that through your landlord? I said Yes and she said, Oh we weren't aware so it's separate and that's limited to them....

Ummmmm Listen nitwit, the appointment was made on your behalf, they would have contacted you and said she's free on that day, have someone call around...

So I don't buy that, they didn't know about it. She should have just apologised for the inconvenience.

Suddenly now she's rushing me for a meeting at the end of the week....

I said I don't have my lens on and have to check my diary. I was not about to squint.

It's difficult to see clearly, it's all blurry, so I asked for a direct number, got it and said I will call later.

I'm going to eat and charge the phone first. I should get it over and done with.

This week is free but I might make it for next week instead. I want a bit of peace.

I'll see, the worst part of it, apart from her snobby attitude, was that, they are making it sound complicated, like it needs several visits and not just one and done....

Ugh, not looking forward to that either. I've done the sweeping.

I actually liked spacing out the cleaning over several days, it was so much kinder to my body.

I'm waiting for the washing to dry. I'll change the duvet and wash it and then mop and the rest is done thankfully.

My thing, when I know it's a legitimate number is to add it to my phone and usually wait for them to call me.

There was no way I was getting stuck in the Operator loop.

Oh something else she said that tickled me. Why do they keep saying I'm with the previous landlord, when we switched ages ago?

Ok ok, I was responsible and called them back and decided to put my needs first and make it for next week Wednesday.

8-1pm. The UC is on Tuesday, Bank Holiday is on Monday...

And just got a text, on the same Wednesday between 11-2pm, they are conducting emergency fire alarm and lightning tests.

Lol, so a crazy week, but they said it's for the public areas, not people's homes.

Last thing. I'm not drinking enough and I'm starting to get really painful foot cramps at night.

It always happens when I'm dehydrated but currently for some reason I'm just not thirsty.

It's a chore to drink, I'm trying to add the flavoured ice poles to my water....

It's like a long thin fruit lolly and I add it, in summer. Today's one is lemon.

I think I drink more in winter weirdly.. I don't have much of an appetite.

I've just ordered the groceries for tomorrow, I didn't see any new items as such and because it's household heavy order, I just could only afford the basics I usually get.

Kitchen rolls, cleaning wipes, they are so expensive. I'm sure they used to be a £1ish and now it's £3/4.

My debit card is going to expire in January, I wonder when they will send the next one.

Ugh I wonder if I can pick it up in person? That's the last thing I want my neighbours getting..

I think the ID is a passport but mine is expired, I don't know if that makes a difference or if you are even permitted to collect it..

#BlogLife1054 - How do you prepare yourself...?

I've just unpacked the groceries and everything was there, aside from these beef puffy pastry thingys.

They looked fun to try, similar to the Asda ones, where they infused cheese into the pastry and it gave it an extra kick of flavour.

It was probably £1/2ish and it was a big bag of maybe 6 minis or more I think and then they stopped it, aww :(

It was quite dense pastry so fulling as a snack. Iceland has never had it in stock, I thought it was strange it was. Oh well.

I'm not big on truffle but there was a parmesan chicken pasta bake that had positive reviews..

I thought I would try it out, plus the Muller Corner Mississippi mud pie yoghurt, apparently toffee and coffee, that sounds fun.

The only reason I got it was the yoghurts were on a 3x £6 deal and most of them were nearly £3 alone.

I wanted to stretch out the desserts, 12x altogether I think. A mix of healthy and unhealthy because the others are fat free strawberry..

And a red fruits combination, which is lush. Also Aunt Bessie's roast potatoes because the potato pops seem to be discontinued and I loved that tiny dinky roast potato flavour.

I miss it. I'm hoping I find the energy to do that lil bit of cleaning but I woke up sore and now just feel drained.

Wow that was super fast. I only bought the eye drops yesterday and they are out for delivery with Yodel.

They predict between 10ish and 12pmish, just before 1pm. They haven't said how many people are ahead but maybe later on..

Typical nonsense, problem with your address, contact us, so I did and he was the slowest typer.

Literally 5 minutes later, the courier buzzed and it got here at 12pmish.

I don't know why they don't use gps. I'm trying to read the instructions.

I wanted to see if they said anything about removing contact lenses but the print is so tiny.

Hmm maybe I have lost my mind but the new drops smell of carrots? Umm why?

Strange, but they are nice and thin, they don't sting, thank heavens and feel refreshing.

I honestly don't see a brand name but I don't care as long as they make my eyes feels better.

And now the salines are being posted, supposedly 48hrs, but realistically as it's Royal Mail, the local service, maybe Monday and not Saturday..

I feel hungry but I don't and now my under eyes are feeling a bit stingy, probably too much eye rubbing.,

I feel as though I don't want to make anymore mess. I'm just going to finish cleaning tomorrow morning.

I'm going to get up early anyway. I think 8-12pm, maybe? Which means just in case I have to get up 7amish.. to be dressed and I never risk having a shower.

I need to be fully clothed and feel as safe as possibly can with strangers lurking around and who knows how many? Ugh don't think about it.

At least on Saturday I can sleep late, there is no reason to wake early.

I hope it's a quick straightforward appointment. The coming and going unnerves me so badly.

I think because I feel icky about them barging into my room. I'm going to try and relax, listen to music, distract myself and ignore them.

Tomorrow after they leave I will eat properly, 2x meals and snacks.

Today was just once. I'm unable to relax so I'm not going to force myself. I'm not starving, I was peckish, not anymore.

Plus it's very warm and that's making me empty as well. I want rain, lots and lots of rain please. Thanks :)

#BlogLife1026 - He wasn't there to yell at me..

Song of the day - Faouzia - Porcelain

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg95iQIm3NA&list=WL&index=83

I really like this song. I was going to add it last week but I forgot.

As I'm going to be lifeless when I get back tomorrow I'm trying to pick out things for brekkie/lunch from Sainsbury so that I can quickly order and hopefully it will arrive sooner rather than later.

It's a good job I perused because I didn't even realise, the chicken sushi is part of the meal deal woop.

£6.50, mains, snack and drink which isn't too too bad, pricier than Tesco but that's inclusive and what I fancy so that will make it overall cheaper as the sushi alone was just over a fiver I think..

I'll probably add flapjacks, cupcakes, and crisps, maybe cereal bars and a wrap or pasta dish so that the meals for the day are easy.

And then I will budget with the £10 off and hopefully spend under £10 for all that.

I'm tempted to buy pakoras too but I need to use the voucher before it expires and I'm trying to spend minimally..

I got it so wrong. It seemed warmer so I didn't do triple layers. Yeesh big mistake it's freezing.

My stomach is churning, dreading what hoops I have to go through and if he reported me for missing the meeting.

But I feel less agitated because the driver was in a good mood and beamed at me.

I don't usually make eye contact but the oyster card didn't seem like it was processing.

So I looked up and his reaction Yep it went through. Ugh ordered the food and they keep putting the time further away.

I don't think grocery places prioritise Just Eat orders. Anyway I'm not starving, just peckish.

It's funny I had to try about 3 different branches to get the sushi and the third or fourth had it.

No cake but the flapjacks were there, I also got pasta and saw a steak sandwich, I thought I can't get chicken everything..

Oh and I've never ever tried Reese's peanut butter cups, as they were part of the meal deal, why not ha.

Nearly a fiver for service, bag and delivery, £14ish altogether and I used my £10 voucher.

Six items. I love saving money. Oof just before 11am, placed the order, 20 minutes later, not out for delivery..

Here is what happened at the UC appointment. I was on time, waited downstairs and saw the formerly mean guy, who had a lobotomy and is nice now..

He said they've all transferred upstairs and why couldn't I use the stairs but not rudely, just routinely.

(There's supposed to be a note on my account to say I have disabilities and cannot use stairs).

They still bloody ask though, so I apologised as usual for making them come down, it's what's expected..

Grovel to beg for leniency when it's a valid reason. Anyway, I went all graphic because I'm sick of explaining myself, repeating it over and over.

I just said calmly, I have disabilities, bones that never healed and I feel like I tear when I climb......

All true but too much information and he said We weren't aware of your conditions (pffft)...

We'll transfer you downstairs and you'll see someone new.. (Please let them be respectful towards my health)...

Please please please. I don't need the added stress and disbelief and disrespect.

So probably I'll get my order in just under an hour, 30mins has passed.

My tum is talking, grumbling it wants food now, tsk, I'm trying to concentrate.

I'm gonna be so sad if things are out of stock.. Everything arrived, it took about an hour in the end.

I'm not feeling that great, the hand pain is off the charts so I don't want to type but I have too, for this and the UC crap.

I had bad cramps all weekend and it's not great when you're trying to sleep and your stomach is just hurting.

Plus I don't know which binaural beats to listen too... The pmt one? The cramps one or the anti nausea..

Oh and I should put on the hand pain one, which means I can't play music or videos to distract me from it..

#BlogLife1019 - Off on off period after 2 months../BT renewal

I think what's making me feel even worse is that I'm lightly spotting but it keeps stop-starting and that was it, 1-2 days and it finished.

Two months of nothingness that I was hoping it stopped forever. I'm in my late forties, it could happen..

It's never been regular, skipping a few months is nothing out of the ordinary..

Having multiples periods in a month is also routine for me, mine's just odd, it can't make up it's mind.

It can be the lightest or heaviest flow and it's the same with pmt, bloating, cramps, nausea, fatigue, chocolate or sugary cravings..

It just tends to vary one month to another..

Oh that was craziness, so that's why BT was calling I didn't know my contract with broadband was expiring soon.

I thought the mobile and the broadband was at the same time but I just realised I had to wait to upgrade because I wasn't getting a good offer.

I'll pay a pound extra, get a new hub/router thingy, whatever you want to call it.

It's ridiculous £10 for delivery yeesh, but there is 2x free engineer appointments, 1 per year, that's good.

Allegedly they guarantee wifi or £100 back, it's a pound extra but at least it's not much higher, I was hoping for lower.

But the offer that made my eyes pop out, if only my mobile contract was over..

I pay £18 now, he offered me £10 a month and 20gb of data.... What on earth!

Decades ago, they wouldn't give you any data, or would charge you so much more for it, that it wasn't affordable..

Now the running joke when they ask if I need data? Not much 1 to 2gb would do, is they keep increasing the amount.

From 6gb, to 5gb and now offered 20gb? Lol, ridiculous.

But because my contract isn't over, I'd have to pay cancellation fees so it's not worth it to have 2x contracts..

But wowser what a deal, a tenner a month, amazing. I will definitely call BT and not EE from now on.

Although only EE does the phones, that would be nice if the deal is still going, doubtful but handy.

I hope the router is easy to fix up, I dread doing that. I'm hoping also that, it improves the wifi, it's not great at present.

We'll see. I gotta hustle and finish the UC stuff so I can start the Looney Tunes event.

Plus I really should eat some food, it's lunchtime. I'm definitely feel tired and sore today as I expected too.

I don't want to do anything but lounge. I have some cleaning to do, I'll see how I feel over the weekend.

I just booked the grocery shopping for tomorrow so that's done.

There might be foodie reviews next week, well this week, when this is posted..

Ugh idiots, I told the landlord to text or email when the stock condition people were due, checked the post and missed another appointment.

No notice at all, twits! I got most of the neighbours mail again, redelivered that.

The shopping came, the chicken pizza was in stock, yay... The bread to make toasties was not.

Either I'll use Just Eat groceries or Ocado Zoom to buy bread. I fancy sushi but not fishy, but with avocado..

It's all sold out on Zoomy, the avocado one isn't listed, the veggy one is mostly just carrots, doesn't seem exciting.

Oh the router hub thingy from BT is coming later with a special or the ordinary Postie.....

Let's hope they deliver it to me and not the greedy neighbours..

Well the modem was just dropped off outside my door by the time I got to it they had left.

I think I set it up correctly, I decided to use all the new wires that came with it, maybe that's why my wifi is weak..

Maybe I made a mistake it's disconnected once already, if it keeps happening I'll have to call BT.

It's saying medium instead of weak signal which is good and just as I said that it went back to weak, now back to medium ha.

Very rarely has it ever said strong. The thing is while other parts of the country have reported snow, here it is oddly summery, sunshiney and warm.

I guess I will see if there is any difference, whether pages are quicker to load or how much the connection drops.

Plus will this make a big difference to the wifi call reception? Will I be heard completely without someone saying, I can barely decipher what you're saying or you're cutting out..

It's hard to tell with new equipment, I always feel like it needs to settle and find it's groove for now.

I don't have big issues but I know it's especially jittery when I use the microwave, it really hates that.

The box it came in was huge but slim, I was wondering how big it was but I think it's the same size.

I want to bin the old ones, I didn't realise I still had them. I'm also glad they didn't mention upgrading to fibre optic broadband, Mama had that and it's ridiculously bad.

I got to remember to change the wifi on the spare phone as well and that's it, no more devices, 2x mobiles, 1 laptop.

If we're getting bright sunshine in winter, does this mean in summer there will be snow?

I'm just going to add to this as I had a call about the stock condition appointment direct from the landlord.

That was cool because she offered an appointment this week and I thought good get it out of the way.

Surprisingly there were slots at the weekend and I thought just in case UC wants to see me, make it for then and it won't clash.

So I did it for Sunday morning 9-12pm and told her it might take me a while to get to the door, can they be patient and she said she'll let them know and I might get a call when they are on the way.

So that is finally settled at long last. I just need to do a tiny bit of sprucing.

Change the bed, wipe the bath and sink, mop the floors, wash the sheets and that's it.

I hate giving up the weekends, I like to rest and sleep in but this appointment has been weighing on me and finally it will be over.

I'm still nervous about strange men in my place but it's just a routine job, I'll have my phone and earbuds in and try to reassure myself I'm safe.

and maybe avoid the small rooms they are in like the bathroom and bedroom.

That's my plan for survival, as for cleaning, 1 room per day is my manageable plan.

#BlogLife1017 - I need to take my power back and reclaim my strength

I feel like I've lost my joy and only now am I getting it back. I'm stressed all the time and that's become my norm and I'm sick of it.

My family, my friends, dating, health, all just taking from me and leaving me empty.

I'm more serious in this mood, less capable of having a silly chat.

There's a guy I semi regularly chat too and because he's a J, he doesn't ask a thing about me.

I've tried to steer the conversation, drop hints and it's like, he's trying to say the supposed the right thing, but really, he's still only concerned about himself.

And I completely lost it, when he said Jeez, You've been hurt or something?

Instead of acknowledging, Hey maybe she wants to have an intellectual conversation.

Instead it's Oh she's lost her mind, heartbroken, so hates all guys and her feelings aren't valid so she's not capable of being rational and coherent.

Ugh I just ended it and said, Women, think and Men don't, we are built differently.

I want to chat to someone real that I can open up too and maybe flirt with and although he says he understands and was following my queues..

He really doesn't because he kept saying Are you ok? Because normally you're fun, he didn't say that last part, but that was the interpretation.

I ignored that because either he gets me or he doesn't, there's no point saying....

Look the truth is, I'm ill all the time. I'm worried all the time. I have trouble sleeping, my brain goes to dark scenarios.

I usually feel empty or not lonely really, just in need of someone to talk too.

I was cold and snippy and said Maybe you need a woman with no brains, so let's not talk anymore.

But then I realise, talking to men that are just asking me personal questions or trying to get me to date them or flirt back isn't helpful either.

I guess I want to be coaxed with the right enquiries. How are you? How's your day going?

My lil bouts of happiness come at the end of the day, where my duties are done.

It's me time, gaming and nothing else matters. No scary monsters in my head, no more bad thoughts about the future.

Just trying to get cosy, switch off and enjoy a lil highlight. As hard as it is to just put aside these things.

I'm going to try. I have to be brave and carry on. I want to make myself proud by publishing a lot more stories and the occasional spoof or serious topic.

Dagnabit, I over ran the bath with too much hot water, now I hope the cold will balance it out, it didn't seem like it will fill that fast.

It's not my day today. I'm trying to be positive despite all these obstacles.

Got to admit, it was a horrible day. Dust blew into my eyes as the bus was pulling up, I barely saw the number and was holding onto things to see.

They had the laziest assistant working at the library, glued to her phone, she didn't want to help me print, she's like follow the instructions on the wall, the others just do it for me and are friendlier.

They made it so bloody complicated, scan this, load this, what the hell.......

She was no help at all, then bloody yahoo is saying we'll text you a code to log in, nothing, nada, by the time they did, I was late for UC appointment and every second question was, Do you have an update?

Asked and answered numb nuts! So me and my big mouth blurted out about the printouts, so he said you can give it to me Thursday.

And he always asks Are you volunteering anywhere? Ugh I've told you that a thousand times, try making notes or paying attention.

He asked how long I do it, now there is no way to answer this question so that it pleases them, if you say too many hours, Oh that's too much...

I said 1 hour, he said Oh you should do 5/6, it's not like you've got anything to do......

Schmucky schmuck shmuckiest. I have writing dodo! Just because you're inept at your role, doesn't mean, I'm not fulfilled in mine!

Ugh I have to leave early tomorrow and get it done via the library or Rymans.

I didn't get rained on though and I was so fed up and drained, I didn't bother go to the cafe or shop, I just wanted to go home, so I ordered Chinese but got a discount and because it took so long, maybe an hour, ha, they threw in prawn crackers too, which was the highlight of my day.

I didn't eat much, I'm not that hungry but I had some opal fruits and a biscuit or two and the rest maybe I'll save for Thursday.

I really miss youtube working on the laptop, I could play asmr or anti nausea or anti cramps, now I have to play that via the phone only.

Oh well tomorrow I can relax and then Thursday I'll probably miss the start of Looney Tunes new event.

Well after complaining on Twitter, Youtube works again on the laptop, which is good because last night instead of listening to sleepy asmr....

I had to play the pmt which sometimes helps settle my tummy, I felt like I had to burp or get rid of the bloating or something before I could sleep and eventually it did help but it was relaxing binaural beats music.

#BlogLife1004 - Due, overdue or not due?

It's a shame that home goods store closed, it was there for years, selling towels, duvets and alsorts of knick knacks were available and it's replaced by another snack store of which there are dozens in the market, all competing against each other.

It could have been a bakery or a sandwich shop. Anyway as I can't get my cheap bedlinen from there, I went back to Ebay and saw a few from £5.

I got the charcoal pillowcases and cover for £6 brand new with tags and that should arrive next week, good bargain.

I don't always see them on offer. The one that was cheaper was a replica blue of one I already had.

If I didn't see any deals, I would have gotten it again. I slept fairly well, I don't think my right eye is completely healed, but each day gets more bearable.

I've just unpacked the shopping and the only thing I was craving was hotdogs, but my version, croissants instead of buns aka hottissants I named it ha.

I got some hummus and egg mayo to add some flavour to it, I had to sacrifice the olives and I still haven't seen those stuffed peppers..

You would think if an item is popular they would restock it..

Normally I end up eating the croissants before the meat is ready but not this time.

I decided to mix the vegan and chicken sausage together, just for kicks and to make it more filling.

I've never done that before, should be interesting. I also saw some Pista Pik peanut and pistachio biccys for 49p.

It's 118g box so not bad if it tastes good. I wanted the snacks to stretch out for the week.

I tried it, it's a fair size and a lot in the packet, it's ok but these type of nutty biscuits are a bit dry so it's alright but boring.

My favourite one which I never see was the Maryland's hazelnut cookies, that was hearty and tasty, very thick, small but it was enjoyable, now I see the chocolate chip one only.

I wanted the burger sauce but it's cheaper to get the hummus and at least I know I'll use all of that up and won't waste it.

Plus overall it's actually healthier. Strange, the frankfurters overcooked and the vegan Richmond undercooked, so leaving it for another 5 minutes, 25 altogether.

The vegan sausages will be for dinner, the chicken frankfurters went really well with the hummus and egg mayo, who knew?!

I suspected it would make a delicious combination and it did but now I am so full.

I wonder if anyone tried my unusual food mixtures..?

I got around to making the calls I wanted, well I couldn't get through to the heating people to ask if the repair text was a mistake or not.

But the landlord said Don't worry about the stock condition survey even we can't get through to make an appointment, but when we do you'll get a text/email and call about it, which is fine.

I don't want to miss it and I don't want it to clash with a UC appointment, that's my only fear.

I hate waiting around for a meeting knowing my phone could buzz at anytime with you're next or the door could buzz with them not informing me, they are on their way.

But I've done what I could and I'll wait to feel hungry or eat at lunchtime.

#BlogLife944 - Do you have manners?

A few things running through my mind. I'm not sure what to do about the icky volunteer chats.

I don't want to leave them stranded but neither do I want to engage them further.

Secondly I feel like I've once again made the wrong decision and wasted money on what I thought was the best solution.

That's weighing heavily on me but what's done is done. 

At some point I have to ring BT about the switchover, something about landline phones being obsolete and changing to digital voice.

But I don't even use the landline and I'm sure they mentioned something about fibre optic, which they have stated I'm not applicable for, anyway.

I really can't be bothered setting up a new hub/router thingy. I wonder if this is a way to increase the bills?

I'm feeling quite irritated today, the appointment failed to show and couldn't be bothered to apologise and let me know.

I can't relax, I can't eat, I just emailed them and we'll see if it's delayed or postponed.

You pay for a service and they can't be bothered with the follow up, once they've been paid.

It's on to the next paid gig. Ugh! There's nothing worse than waiting.

They are 2 hours and a half late and no response!! No manners at all!

Also Fantastic hasn't refunded me yet, more money down the drain.

I was looking forward to munching but I'm anxious, will he randomly turn up??

I want to change back into house clothes. Ok sod it. It's just after 3pmish, took out the bins and changed.

I'm going to relax, I had the last of the fajita bakes. I'm not really hungry now, maybe will have one more small meal or snack later..

I don't give a toss if they turn up or not now, appalling service all around.

I haven't taken any volunteer chats today, I've just been supporting others in the forum bit.

I tidied and did the last of the clear out and also the washing is done, so finished all the chores now.

I keep expecting decent customer service and I keep being let down.

Is it because I'm a woman and they think we can mistreat her and she won't speak up???

#BlogLife934 - Checked off

I had such a gloriously long deep sleep last night and it's put me in a great mood, because the insomnia was pretty bad due to stress.

The last of the chores is done. I booked the cleaner for tomorrow morning, an ouchy estimate of £109.35 to a £145.13 reality jump and there was nowhere to put the 10% promo code sadly..

I just added it into the comment section, I doubt I will get the discount for the deep clean, but it is a Bank Holiday weekend.

I just prefer booking cleaners for the weekend, it's way less hectic for me.

I can't see it lasting 4 hours just to mop 5 rooms, even though it's a deep clean service.

But afterwards maybe they will wipe the tub or sinks or help me declutter.

Either way, although I feel guilty about not doing it myself. I'm also sorta proud of myself for reaching out to get assistance as that is so difficult to not be seen as capable.

My hands are already tender and I feel devoid of energy just wiping a lil bit.

I still feel the flu is lingering, bit stuffy, bit sneezy but I feel heaps better being productive now the energy has returned somewhat.

The washing is drying and smelling delightful. I can't book the Optician and get my spare lens until the bus station opens in September so that has to wait.

I will also get my pedicure done afterwards and that's it really. Very high expenses but if it gives me peace of mind, so be it.

I'm not frivolous, I don't spend heaps on myself, I continue to budget and seek bargains.

Oh and will probably book the Surveyor appointment for the week after next, this one is already busy.

I forgot to ask for female cleaners and if I could stay as I don't fancy going out and Ohh just realised I'm definitely staying, the buses aren't running all the way to the Market.

It's weird I remember things and then instantly forget, so foggy.

I think Scratchy is done. I needed to talk and let things out and I did that.

Alright, a strange morning indeed. I woke up to see conflicting texts and emails from the cleaning service.

One said, Sorry no-one is available. The other said, Yes we have 1 person, so relieved it's a female yesss.

I woke up at 10am called them, they were busy and I was just about to email and they called back.

I do like them for that, they don't leave you hanging in that respect.

When they cancelled I felt a bit deflated. I didn't sleep until 4/5am but then it was bliss.

I would have preferred a morning slot, I did book for 11am, but 2pm was all they had.

I wanted it out of the way so I could eat but I'll munch after. I don't know why my stomach is in knots..

Maybe it's the uncertainty of them not showing up and then this matter is still pressing.

Or maybe it's the judgement of, this is you responsibility not an outsider.

Or maybe it is having an unknown person in my home. I'm sure the cleaners are vetted.

I had to Googly it and yep there are background checks. We shall see how this experience goes..

The first was a mixed bag, good outcome but damage was done and no apology.

Plus I think he was late and didn't stick to instructions. I just wanted to sleep.

I think I was just tense, a male cleaner roaming the rooms, making lots of noise..

That's why I didn't let him mop the bedroom floor, it was my safe space.

Argh I forgot to enquire about the promo code discount. I'm really curious as to whether or not I will get it.

I should for all the faffing around. You advertise for short notice, lots available and then say, Nope nobody is around.

At least she will get double pay as it's the weekend. Umm, let's just say, things did not go according to plan...

#BlogLife785 - Double work for dodo advisor

It's now Tuesday afternoon and I got back a while ago, just had some chicken pasta.

It's been a really mixed day, the bus app said everything is running fine, but there was a half an hour delay so I was a bit late for my UC appointment.

Normally they are supposed to arrive every 10 minutes, so not sure what the problem was.

Luckily, they were running late too, so he wasn't annoyed at me. For the most part it went fine, I told him all about essential oils for his cough, and binaural beats to treat giving up smoking.

(I'm not sure why I felt the need to cure him, ha), but I guess I help people where I can).

But he was firing questions at me, like he didn't have access to the online journal, where everything is laid out for him.

How the hell do I have the extensive details memorised, when it's all there for you to look at? What the hell is the point of doing that, when you're asking for specifics?

I found that really tiresome, so he said, jot down some notes for next week, ugh, was hoping it would be next month, pfft.

I'm just going to forgo that crap and embarrass him, by opening the journal in front of him and recalling all the information, that the bs questions require me to know. *Rolls eyes*

Then he asked for a morning or afternoon slot and I picked morning and he said, 9amish is the only free time available, pfft.

At least that's done for now. I am so drained, my back is killing me and I feel a lil dizzy.

But I checked the post and there was a letter from the council so following my re-applying for the housing benefit.

And taking hours to fill in the form, and uploads loads of documents, it seems to indicate that I'm still entitled to it.

Thank heavens for that, it was stressing me out so much. As usual with the council, they randomly stop/start the allowance, which puts me into debt.

However for now, it seems like they are happy with all the evidence I provided and the fact that I added ridiculous amounts of excess information, to explain myself and my circumstances..

Seemed to go in my favour because I didn't have the rent statements to add and I have no idea when it increased so I couldn't provide those details and ended up sending them the rent receipts, I make sure I request from the landlord..

Ideally I would like to rest but I need to add stuff to the journal, to stop the nagging.

I'm still craving sushi but I'm going to continue being careful and then maybe at Christmas time, possibly it will be more affordable then...

Mama's all excited about it. I don't think she wants to do a roast this year, normally it's chicken but I think she wants fish and chips or Chinese this year, which is cool by me.

I'm not really fussed as unless she invites people around, which I kinda hope not, it will just be the two of us.

I'm not sure I will ever get rid of that eating anxiety, of munching in front of people, my appetite just disappears and I can't savour anything.

But it's her place and I never object, I just disappear into my guest room and take a breather instead.

I have seen a knock off version of Ferreros, Brompton House, 10x £3 but I want them to go on sale.

Or I might see if there's a dark chocolate version because both me and her, are quite enjoying that.

There's still time to decide what to get. She told me not to get her any gifts and I'm not sure at the moment I can afford to anyway.

As I've treated her to stuff already but if I can save a bit and find out she needs anything, I will try and budget and purchase it for her.

I'll definitely try and get some treats for us both though. Oh and she wants some essential oils so that's easy enough.

#BlogLife569 - 3 hours to fit a door?

Song of the day - Pepper Pepper - Drupatee 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZeMbZRnUkw&list=PLC743C3F57E46E499&index=34

This is Christmas song but it makes me laugh. I've probably posted it before but I don't care.

It always makes me laugh and feelgood and playing the Christmas list helped me unwind today.

I was caught on the hop. The maintenance people were due at 8-12pm but I didn't think they would get here this early at 9am.

I was up since 7amish though, with an uneasy sleep. I got up at 8am and just tidied up a bit more and then I heard the softest knock on the door.

They had arrived and just told me to leave the door on the latch and that it would take three hours??

Yeesh I thought maybe half an hour at the most. What is it that takes so long?

(It's the constant chitchatting, phone calls and whatever else, that increases the time). Zzzz

I asked him about the keys to a blank response and then I repeated myself because I didn't want to get locked inside my own flipping home.

Then he said Aww yes, we will give you several keys when we have concluded our business.

That was a relief because that was the only thing stressing me out, aside from strangers roaming around and the door being wide open.

I've got music on to calm me down. I didn't get a chance to load my room up with snacks or a drink and I never feel like going past them.

But I sipped some plain and lemon water earlier and I'm not hungry yet so I think I'll manage until after they are done.

This is my last appointment for a while so I'm relieved. I can relax after they have left.

I know that my stomach definitely gets extra agitated from stress.

I'm trying to keep even-keeled. There's not been any cramps and minimal nausea so that isn't bad for this horrible week.

I think if it had been a short job, I would have been tempted to supervise but for this, nope.

I feel nauseated and weary about them bursting in my room to ask me something.

That hasn't happened yet. It's like they are too impatient to wait and just barge in. Ughh.

I'm not going to clock-watch. It sucks to have the music low but I don't want to be oblivious, in case they call me.

I can hear several voices which is elevating my anxiety. I wonder if they will clean up after themselves?

I guess I should be grateful that I'm the first on their rota. How is it only 9.40am??

Yay two and a half hours later they were done!! Thank heavens and to be fair they did clean up afterwards.

They called out but didn't go near my room and waited because I couldn't lower the volume and had to take my earbuds out lol.

The new door isn't as ugly as I thought but neither is it pretty. It's just a medium dullish silver.

They remembered to put the number on, woop and a letter box thingy. I've never had that before.

It's always funny when they are explaining things to me because it always sounds confusing.

You lock it but it's not really locked, it's magnetic and so forth. What makes it easier is just having one lock now for everything.

I don't know about you but I don't double lock when I'm indoors. Mama does but I don't.

Ohh I think the latch is gone and maybe the peep-hole I didn't notice them.

No deadbolt but there is a twisty lock, so I just use that instead ha.

It's something I'll have to get used to when I'm rushing out the door.

Ooh something I forgot to mention before. I actually saw the scarce Christmas radox bath soak.

I don't find it often so I just bought one to use because it's my favourite one.

I guess the one thing about being early is that everything get's done faster.

I didn't nap although I was yawning a fair bit and now I will munch and think about the stories....

More importantly working on them..... Ish......After a few scrabble/looney tunes/fishdom rounds :)

#BlogLife519 - Cleaning gave me a mental boost

As promised (to myself), I started off in the bathroom and scrubbed the sink and then mopped the hallway floor.

I could not be bothered to dry it off. I hope the sun takes care of it as it is very warm today.

I did have to create yet another energetic playlist but then I soldiered on until the pain and tiredness hit me 20 minutes later.

Feels great to flop on my bed and switch the fan on. I actually wanted to carry on and do more but I made a start and it's more than I thought.

The gleaming surfaces are smiling at me. The bathroom, bedroom, lounge and kitchen floors are left to do.

I might tackle more later but I am totally depleted now and will continue resting and having my icy ribena.

The hardest part is always getting up and beginning the cleansing journey but once the momentum is going, you'll wonder why you were procrastinating in the first place?!

I just realised tomorrow when I get back I will be shattered. I will give myself until 4.30pm, an hour later and see if the hallway is dry.

It was partially damp still. Then either back to the bathroom or I will move on to the kitchen and living room.

Sometimes I have to do 2 rounds with the floors because the dirt smears itself around and I can't bend down to wipe every lil speck of grime.

Mopped the kitchen and lounge, just as the earbuds disconnected and the music stopped grr.

But I was too hyped up to stop so I just carried on. Tomorrow or Saturday will re-mop and do the bathroom/bedroom floor.

Ah I got another tip, I poured out the excess mixture onto the floor and left it, which will mean less mopping but also, longer to dry...

I also remembered to rinse the broom head in the sink. That's it for today, can't manage anymore.

It was the right day to clean because there wasn't any nausea so I didn't have to keep stopping midway.

I might skip dinner, I had a big late lunch. All I feel like is a 100 lollies but I'll settle for one.

It is the total opposite of yesterday, I feel really sicky and tired. I'm going to see how I feel in a few hours.

Dic didn't say much and I wasn't volunteering any information so it was a quick appointment.

I just called up about the gas meter expiring and that is booked for next Friday between 12-4pm.

I normally get morning meetings but I don't want to wake up early and hustle to get ready, I want to take my time leisurely.

I also called up about the door, apparently it's a safety thing, fire-proof I think.

It's been measured already so in a few months they will call to arrange a time to fit in.

Oh I'm thrilled that the new gas meter, isn't going to be a smart one, woop woop, it's just a regular type.

No skyrocketing energy bills yay :) My slipper order from Shoezone got cancelled as the address label was printed on incorrectly.

I can't believe in this day and age they would screw that up. If the shoes weren't so distinctively comfy, I would be tempted to write them off completely.

I'm sure last time there was an issue with them too. I thought they would have sent a replacement pair out but nope just a refund.

I already ordered a new pair and that should arrive tomorrow when I'm out grr.

I finally started my period yesterday so I'm feeling extra bloated, tired, grumpy and cold.

#BlogLife518 - Invasion of the mind snatchers

I finally went through my mail as I had ignored it when I sprained both my hands and found out what the mystery call was about.

It wasn't about the smart meter as such, the regular one had expired and needed replacing.

Even though it's outdoors, they needed to check out my gas appliances to make sure nothing was interrupting their service.

I have to book that in. Ugh strangers in the home for up to an hour, cringe.

Then I have another meeting, something about the front door and making sure it's..... Safe? Lol, I have no idea.

Goodness knows how long that will take, measurements, questions, someone else invading my personal space.. Yuckity!

I'm going to see if I can arrange them both for next week. Even though I have appointments on Tuesday and possibly another with Dic...

I'm seeing him tomorrow morning so I will know the schedule then.

I always try to tidy up before my home is invaded. Actually, surprisingly, I'm maintaining the spot cleaning.

Everywhere is mostly tidy, the only places that need work are the floors and I just need to wipe around the bathroom sink.

I actually read through the cleaning posts I previously composed to see what the mixture was.

Hot water, washing up liquid/soap and bleach. I recall that because of the steam mop I was using cold water and had gotten used to that.

But now I'm doing it by hand with sponges, wipes and my trusty broom, steamy hot water is better.

For the newbies who are wondering why I am not using a mop? 

It broke and the replacement was rubbish! I hate wasting money.

I have a few Amazon reviews to write but I cannot be bothered at the moment.

I am getting really hungry but I don't know whether to make a start on the cleaning or eat first.....

I think I will at least sort the sink out as that won't take long. I dread doing the floors, it's so slippery and then I have to kneel and wipe the excess water with a rag or old clothes.

But I'm pumped up and motivated and I'm holding on to the relief I will feel, when it's all sparkly and disinfected.

Knowing I will be able to rest and relax, having done what I set out to do.

The weekend will then be changing the duvet cover and pillowcases and that will be the last of it.

Oh I saw a few movies, Love again with Priyanka Chopra, it's cute, lots of musical stars.

Then Bean again with Rowan Atkinson. I think I first saw it in the cinema with my family and my cousin and Aunt.

She was mortified to be seen in public with her family but I thought it was fun to have us altogether, enjoying ourselves.

When I can't find anything new, I cycle back to the favourites, just to put my mind at ease before bed.

Oh the Amazon top updated the tracking, it's on a plane so it isn't lost :)