#BlogLife606 - Do you put enormous pressure on yourself?

 Song of the day - Parang Fever - Chris Rojas

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmW4XvEZwZI&list=PLC743C3F57E46E499&index=65

Afternoony everybody, I'm much preferring the longer sleeps to the afternoon naps.

I'm drained but still have energy to do things, only a lil behind. My parcel of the robe and trousers are due on Saturday, a bit slow for premium delivery but it is Christmas after all.

I still have no patience but I'm working on it. I properly tried out the Warm Neroli mist oil, well more oil than mist.

It's probably my favourite out of the trio, fragrance wise but as with the Bergamot it's too faint and short lasting.

It's highly moisturising on my elbows but with perfumes I want them to last a long time. I don't want to keep spritzing and topping up the scent, especially if I have no time.

Only the Pink Pepper lasts a while and stays strong, the other two need more staying power.

They are conveniently sized to put in a suitcase or a handbag so great to travel with and hand out as a giftset.

That's it now, I shouldn't have to get anything else, the basics and gifts are all covered.

I'm so curious to see how my adorable lil weekender bag is going to fit everything, in it's tiny quarters.

I would have given Mama one of the scents but she says she has enough fragrances for a while.

I want to pack at least maybe but I'm scared. Last year the mouthwash spilled and it fried my charger.

I'm not sure what I will do this year.. But I have to be careful and wrap whatever liquids I take properly.

Now on to the title. Do you have a flippant attitude and ponder on whatever you achieve is great and whatever fails is no big deal?

I seem to get increasingly annoyed and pile more and more on my plate and I'm not sure why I do that?

I'm either proving something to myself and/or others who don't seem to think I'm capable of much.

But the thing is when you're chronically ill, you have to factor that in and make allowances.

I get frustrated and disappointed when I can't do simple things anymore.

It's not fair to me but I do it anyway. I say to myself Oh that is a straightforward task, get on with it.

And I should give myself a break that I have limitations and a weakness that keeps increasing, day by day.

It's an effort to carry things, open things, twist things, clean up, maintain positivity, gather up energy to be active.

To stop and do nothing and lay down and let myself rest is an argument because I feel I should finish up before I do something for myself.

If being selfish lets me recharge, that's a wonderful thing, so why do I feel guilty?

I reckon it's because I keep hearing that word that I hate. Laziness.

Me, SS, is being unproductive and I can't accept it but through all this negativity, I still to take care of myself and lift my spirits.

Let's do an exercise, well you don't have to join in, but it might be beneficial for you too.

*Holds my hand up* I SS, can't do everything straight away, sometimes it takes a few tries to get it done.

Other times I need a break. I may need to psyche myself up or sit down first.

I may need a minute or five before I can re-attempt it. That is alright. It's nothing to be judgemental about.

We're all different and some of us will struggle just a lil bit more.

It's not a failure, it's a postponement. You have the strength and mentality to do it but on occasion it's depleted.

Let's hug it out and renew the belief in ourselves, that we are not perfect and as independent as we are, we can handle most if not everything ourselves.

Reach out if you need too but personally I will always strive to know that persevering paid off and I finally did it.

Woop, go me, go you, go us :)

#BlogLife276 - 3am I let go....

I don't know why 3am is the magic time but when I look at my phone, that just seems to be the time I can finally lose control and fall asleep.

In the evenings particularly, I keep myself tightly in place. No sleep yet, no eating or drinking, no deviating unless I deem it's absolutely necessary. 

Today I woke up twice, the first time I knew it was early so I didn't check the hour. The second time I hoped it was much later.

It wasn't, it was just before 7am. 6.34am to be precise. Another couple of hours sleep only. Except by lunchtime I'll be half asleep and then completely passed out soon after..

I had a story breakthrough yesterday, first I came up with a proper catchy title and then the story started unravelling in my head and I knew where to go but I was so tired, I couldn't write anymore.

I'm hoping it stays fresh as I didn't have the energy to make any notes. I had a banging headache last night which didn't help as I was planning to write in bed but my eyes said nope..... I'm not allowing it.

I think I went to bed about midnightish and mostly was just shifting positions and listening to music. I cannot stop yawning so I have new party music blasting in my ears.

I'm eager to introduce the cop character. I just figured out what his name will be and how he will involve himself in the saga.

I was grinning yesterday because my theme is creating ball-busting femme fatale characters and they are the strongest version of me.

It's cathartic because I'm not sure I can be that brave and that outspoken without a safety net.

I'm planning to make this female personna, the most exasperating of all. Should make for an amusing yarn, hopefully.

I'm not sure if I'll ever make a Part 2 for any of the BookLife series. I still can't quite forget about the Bastian/Yuliana cast but for now they'll stay buried.

Who knows what I will figure out in the future..

I finally tried the Harry Ramsden cod fillets. Actually I saw they had a new product in the range. Giant fish fingers, which I was obsessed with as a child.

I first saw them in an old supermarket called Kwik Save. It was so different from the normal and they really were a large size, perfect for sandwiches or whatever your favourite accompaniment is.

I think Iceland also did them a long time ago. I don't recall the brand but I've never tasted anything like it since then.

Although the Harry Ramsden version is nice, it's just not the same. I doubt anything will match it.

Have a restful weekend and alleviate stress where you can, otherwise it will impact you negatively and you won't even realise.

#AgonyLife14 - Dear SS How do I get unstuck, unblocked and productive again?

Good morning! Well that is a pickle you have gotten yourself into.

I'm not sure if you have a time limit or not. I think most people just try to sit there and argue with themselves about not coming up with a zillion ideas.

A better approach would be to realise, we have all felt this way and I still do at times. It's normal.

You may be overworked, tired, unappreciated, stressed and have other commitments to deal with.

It's really not easy when we have to multi task and time runs out.

Just do the best that you are capable of doing. You can go for a walk outside, or around the workplace.

Have a brief chat or catchup. Watch a video clip or listen to some music.

Tackle another area of your workload that you can readily jump into.

Ask someone for their input. Am I going in the right direction? Could you make a suggestion on how I could improve this area?

Sometimes I take a catnap and my brain figures it out for me and it just seems clearer.

Try a new approach, even if it's different to how you normally do things, that could make it easier.

Have a refreshing beverage and some time to switch off, even if it's just for a while, that will take the pressure away.

Try not to panic and remind yourself that, although it's taking longer you are determined to finish and make it better than ever.