#BlogLife749 - Is this random dump week?

I was a bit miffed at A still so I went on the other room and got talking to this chappy that used paragraphs as introductions and replies.

Only he was actually interesting. I didn't mean to stay late as I was heading to the Market the next day (today) but it was funny swapping stories.

Then just before 3am he suggested a quickie phone call and I said fine, but we must sleep after this.

And that of course ended up being almost an hour long. The fascinating thing to me was that, he's a talker, so he hogged the majority of the conversation, not in a selfish way, in an animated cute, entertainer way.

As in let's see how much you laugh, when you hear what happened....

Sigh of relief, his name is T and not heaven forbid J. Phew!! (Everyone knows, we don't have luck with the J's) :D

As per usual I witheld my number and called and then after I thought, his voice is sooo nice.

I don't mind having follow ups. I told him, I would text him and share my number and I went to do that......

And it said, if you wanna text this number, unblock first........

Oh my my my my. We had talked before. I didn't remember him at all, no inkling of familiarity.

I read the texts and I vaguely recalled, we had probably 1 chat in May 2023, a whole year ago, ha!!

And he didn't get back in touch so, hmm, awkward ha. I didn't want to unblock, I just emailed him and explained and waited to see his reply.

As he didn't want to stay in touch then, maybe he wouldn't now?

I didn't assume anything, I left it up to him and whatever he decided, I would be fine with.

Lunchtime today (Tuesday) he replied and said He wasn't sure if it was me or not, there was a vague notion in his head.

And at that point he said, maybe he wanted meets or something but he was ok with things as they are now.

Goodness me, the rollercoasters with these randoms. I unblocked him and maybe we will have more storytelling sessions.

It was so funny because he tries to be a gentleman, where possible but some of the things he comes out with, sound creepy but hysterically so, bahahaha.

I teased him mercilessly for that. We both cracked up. There are so many interpretations to things.

Today (Wednesday), I have probably the final updates on both of them.

Yesterday me and T had emailed a bit and he annoyingly seems like the type to want to know everything but also hear only what he wants too, as in what benefits him, without listening or picking up on the reasons behind it.

So I think possibly he was a lil miffed at me. I saw him on chat and he didn't say Hi or reply to my last email.

But it's funny because he shouldn't care what my stance is on the matter but he does/did.

At first I said I don't do meets at all because it's easier than saying I do eventually because they all say, let's meet now now now.

And for me it's too much, I wouldn't feel safe at all. When he pressed me further, I said I might consider after I had known the person for a long time.

But the whole reason he wanted to stay in touch, was that he wasn't bothered about meets........

Pfft I will not be chasing him, if he gets in touch, I'll reply but otherwise re-blocked.

Now A was still behaving oddly, as though, he felt compelled to chat to me, ever since I did the face/body reveal.

I thought that would shut him up a bit but then he wanted racy snaps, what on earth??!!

Nope, nope, nope and he did what all guys seem to do or say. Reassure me that he likes bigger females and then it turns out No...... He doesn't.

What he wants, what they all want, is someone a teeny tiny bit plump but no more than that.

And I realise I've still got some trimming down to do so I know I'm less than ideal at present but again I'm more accepting of myself.

Although we did properly chat last night and I said, I thought you were trying to let me down easy.

He still didn't confess that I wasn't his type, claimed to have been busy.

This morning painted a different picture. Those dots were there but also messages.

That he's leaving the site due to family drama. (Oh how convenient) and that he thinks we are going in circles and won't develop.

And I thought I knewwww I wasn't your type and would be blocked soon, you just didn't have the balls to say it.

You should have said it straight away, sorry but you're not suited to me and I would have survived the rejection easily.

Plus if that really was the case, I think he would've allowed me time to reply and then left/blocked, whatever.

Anyway I don't feel sad or upset about either of them, I feel relieved to know where I stand.

In a weird way, it makes me feel more confident, that I can handle it and it didn't knock my self esteem, it made it stronger.

I think the thing that makes me smile, is that Mama received her gift early this morning and she texted to thank me and her whole expression, went from last night unhappy, stressed, fed up..

To smiling and at ease and grateful and settled. I don't need anything from her, just wanted to help out if I could.

I had told her things previously that she should have done and her head was in the clouds, like yea yea yea.

I'm doing what I feel is best and almost, to hell with the consequences because it'll never be a disaster.

But we've both had experiences of it so, hmm, not sure why she didn't take precautions.

It's like she had to learn the hard way. Sorry I don't want to mention what it is, too stigmatised.

Anyway I gave her the advice on what helped me and now I think she has a more realistic attitude.

Which she needed to have, prevention is always better than cure.

I feel it's as though she doesn't take me seriously, when ok, I'm not the most worldly person but I have a lot of street smarts, I know things that she isn't aware of at all.

That's it, you're all caught up. Oh I'm kinda vex that they lied about the battery life on the fan.

It's not the advertised 18 hours on low battery, it is merely 8! Huge lying difference!!

#BlogLife489 - Sisterly advice

One of my pals started asking my opinion about beauty stuff and his love life and I just thought it was really sweet.

As he is a young chappy and I don't usually talk to the young ones but he's mature and silly so it's a perfect mix.

He's never pried into my life or set out to annoy me on purpose, neither has he been sleazy or hit on me and I'm so thankful for that.

I don't mind imparting some wisdom as he is not doing it daily or weekly just every now and then.

I guess for a moment I thought this must be what's it like to have a younger sibling that admires your judgement or a friend who looks up to you and values your ideas.

I'm waiting for him to give me an update, but nothing so far and I'm pushing for answers, that's his business and I'm fine with not knowing, just a tad curious on how it all turned out.

I'm still on this period, normally it would have finished by now but it hasn't.

I really should have bought pads yesterday but it skipped my mind as I was rushing back home.

Kotex night time maxi is the cheapest and best brand for me at £1 and there is 10 included, super value for money and very effective for heavy flows, although no wings.

My second best is Always maxi night with wings and it's £2something but only has 9 included.

It's thick but not as dense as Kotex and I double up when I'm out. I wish they had bigger packs for a lower price but if in stock which they rarely are, I tend to buy stacks.

I bought a bunch from Ocado Zoom to try as sadly there wasn't much of the maxi type available and that's the thicker towel.

Ultra is really thin and I don't find it effective so far but who knows what improvements have been made since I last tried them?

Totm have wings and are thin to medium thickness and were reduced from £3.50 to £2.50.

I haven't seen or tried them out before and I added images on twitter to compare them.

The Always ultra night size 3 I guess I'm most curious about. It's an 18xpack but for £3.40.

It's supposed to be for day or night use and has protection against leakages but it's super thin I can't see me liking it.

It's strangely scented too which is nice. I couldn't tell you what it is but it's kinda like fresh laundry, almost sweet, perfumey scent.

The Natracare has 14 pads included and costs £2.60. This is a medium thickness for light periods.

I don't mind it but I feel more comfortable with maxi versions as I know I'll definitely be secure.

I'll either update this post when I've tried Always and Totm or I'll add their reviews separately when I've used them.

What I tend to do when I have a mix of thin and thick, is combine them together and that is the best of both worlds.

#AgonyLife14 - Dear SS How do I get unstuck, unblocked and productive again?

Good morning! Well that is a pickle you have gotten yourself into.

I'm not sure if you have a time limit or not. I think most people just try to sit there and argue with themselves about not coming up with a zillion ideas.

A better approach would be to realise, we have all felt this way and I still do at times. It's normal.

You may be overworked, tired, unappreciated, stressed and have other commitments to deal with.

It's really not easy when we have to multi task and time runs out.

Just do the best that you are capable of doing. You can go for a walk outside, or around the workplace.

Have a brief chat or catchup. Watch a video clip or listen to some music.

Tackle another area of your workload that you can readily jump into.

Ask someone for their input. Am I going in the right direction? Could you make a suggestion on how I could improve this area?

Sometimes I take a catnap and my brain figures it out for me and it just seems clearer.

Try a new approach, even if it's different to how you normally do things, that could make it easier.

Have a refreshing beverage and some time to switch off, even if it's just for a while, that will take the pressure away.

Try not to panic and remind yourself that, although it's taking longer you are determined to finish and make it better than ever.

#AgonyLife13 - Dear SS What's your advice when I'm at a low point both mentally and physically?

I've realised certain things are a long term transformation, not short term.

You have to catch yourself being too self sabotaging or hearing it from other people.

There are certain books and films where the theme is... Transform yourself to be liked..

1) Lose weight

2) Change your clothing from comfy to slutty

3) Alter your personality from bitter to perky

4) Switch from insecure to brazen overnight

5) Revamp your hairstyle from easy to complicated

I think small changes are better. Open yourself up to various possibilities.

The only things to fix is whatever you don't like about yourself, not what others don't care for.

There is no such thing as perfection so why turn yourself inside out attempting it?

Try to like yourself but reserve love for those quirks that you genuinely appreciate and make you who you are.

Don't be weight/diet or exercise obsessed just try your best to make attainable choices.

Think of it like this......

Woman A - "I wish I had your legs."

Woman B to A - "Are you kidding? I would kill for your belly."

Woman A to B - "No way. I seriously would be thrilled just to have your arms."

You see, we all envy someone's else's features but at the same time, they are admiring us.

Work with what you have. Accept it, love it and either keep finding ways to make it flattering or tone up.

They say confidence is sexy. Do something your passionate about, either as a hobby or for employment.

That will give you such a boost. It will make you smile in a million different ways, even when you're not actively doing it that second.

Be surrounded with genuine people that care. It's too easy to be around people that hurt and are sly.

I've been there and would rather be alone than around that toxic mess.

Date kind people, not someone that makes you feel bad, where you end up crying at night.

Even if you're not into hair, beauty, makeup, clothes. Have a routine that makes you feel soothed and special.

It's vital that you feel great about yourself, not all the time, not in bad situations but in general.

It will help you cope when these twisted deceptive people try to encroach in your life.

You'll know you deserve a lot better. You could try...

~Brain teasers or various puzzles~

~Bubbly baths with music or books~

~Experimental dramatic makeup~

~Daring haircuts~

~New swanky clothes~

~Massages~

~A long leisurely walk~

~New bath or face products with heady scents~

~Lay ins or naps~

My point is get to a place in your life, where you know you deserve good things.

Want to know what I envied about my friends and they admired about me?

For me it's easy. They had slender tums and I always wanted that. They were taller than me and bubblier.

They didn't seem to have that deep rooted insecurity that i had.

For them, they wanted my ample cleavage, my nose, I'm also wondering if they craved my independent nature.

At one point they were all in disastrous relationships but didn't want to be single, whereas I cut loose unsuitable partners easily. 

I never needed a man, I just wanted one around but my life was just fine without a relationship.

I was my own rock or encourager. I could go on dates with myself and have a blast.

#AgonyLife12 - Dear SS I'm alone for the holidays, how do I survive it?

Firstly just go with how you're feeling at this moment. The holidays can be an emotional time for us all.

I'm just going to attempt to flip it around though.. Think of it like this maybe..?

*A Christmas/Holiday date with yourself*

*Nobody looking over your shoulder or starting fights*

*Complete control of the TV remote*

*Eating whatever and whenever you want*

*No painful small talk*

*Sublime uninterrupted snorey naps Zzz*

*Your choice of festive/non festive music*

*Gaming in peace for hours, guilt free :D*

*Reading your favourite blog/book/paper (hint hint)*

I could go on the but I hope you can see what I'm trying to say.

You can still find a way to be happy and get through this time of year. 

#AgonyLife11 - Dear SS I'm trying to diet through the holidays, help?

You are very brave because its even more difficult with friends/family/colleagues encouraging you to have more or try a bit.

Hopefully there will be healthy versions of food and drinks.

If you get fed up with the comments, you could say you're allergic to chocolate etc

Or if you don't want to drink say you have a bet going with a competitive friend to see who can avoid alcohol the longest..

Sounds better than I'm dieting or trying to get healthy/healthier..

There maybe occasions where you can't refuse. Don't panic.

The diet isn't ruined, enjoy this temporary insanity and admit you enjoyed it but tell yourself, on the next meal, I'll do better. 

You could suggest a walk afterwards or some dancing or even sports.. 

Or when everyone has turned in, you could do some sit ups, go for a jog, run up and down the stairs.. 

Some like food diaries, others don't. If you have someone going through the same challenge you can check in and support each other. 

Good luck and I am rooting for you :)

#AgonyLife9 - Dear SS How can I manage my money better?

Well I don't know how old you are but the more we age, the more responsibilities and expenses we have.

I can recommend some basic changes and just being honest with yourself about what you can realistically afford.

1. List all the basic necessities, whatever applies to you. Could be the..

mortgage/rent payments, 

gas, 

electricity, 

water, 

food, 

phone, 

oyster/petrol, 

tv licence, 

insurance,

etc..

2. My bills mostly come out monthly, but I do a food shop weekly. After you have calculated all those costs and compared it to whatever income you have.

3. See if there is an excess for anything else.

4. You can start putting money aside to save for something in particular or just general fun money or you can use it for socialising or any or other hobbies you have.

5. Christmas is next month for whoever celebrates it but say you have an occasion where you are buying a lot of things. Take out a prime trial and you won't have to pay the delivery costs.

6. Shop around and compare prices. Just because something is brand name, it doesn't make it better. Look for alternatives.

7. Sign up for the newsletters and use those first purchase codes, to your advance, save a small fortune.

8. Do not impulse buy, have a list and stick to it, you are beginning to save already.

9. Look out for free samples and claim yours.

10. Use cashback or sites like Vipon to get discounts or money back on things you already planned to spend money on.

11. Regularly share deals and offers with friends, then they are more likely to inform you back, when there is a juicy perk on the go.

12. Sell a bunch of outdated things that you no longer have use for, either in a car boot sale or places like Ebay/Amazon when there is a special free or low cost sellers fee.

13. Either cut out or find a more reasonable price for the luxuries you desire.

#AgonyLife8 - Dear SS why do I and certain others think me-time is selfish time?

Good question. I think it's because when we are younger it is drilled into us to be there for other people and suppress our own valid needs.

I can't speak for anyone else but I know that I grew up thinking whatever I needed or wanted was selfish and unnatural to feel that way.

Don't think about yourself........What does X,Y, Z need?

Instead of sitting there happily with your book, why don't you see if X needs a hand?

I know you are not in the mood but go and talk to X, Y and Z, it's the right thing to do, to make them feel better.

I think somewhere down the line we forget to take care of ourselves. What we want, what we require and that isn't selfish that's normal.

Do you find close ones put a massive guilt trip on you if you step away?

That isn't fair of them, unless it's a child but even then hopefully they will give you a hug or some kind words of appreciation.

For a grownup this is completely separate. We all have the right to take some space for ourselves. Figure out what we need to feel better.

A nap,

An adult colouring book,

A jigsaw puzzle,

An experimental new recipe,

A walk,

A swim,

A steam,

A game,

A chat,

A book,

A beauty treatment,

A bubble bath,

Karaoke,

Your favourite film/tv show,

A massage,

A hair appointment/scalp massage,

Shopping (retail therapy I call it).

Whatever it is, don't feel bad about it. Say to yourself, I work hard, I support others and I deserve this.

My desires are just as crucial as everyone else's. Other people do it and don't feel bad, why shouldn't you??

Also by taking this time for yourself, you're actually turning into a better person, because the stress is alleviated and you have more energy, more drive to accomplish limitless possibilities.

Good deeds and new treats

Not long ago I discovered a fun new site that was different to the norm https://www.agoatnamedpenny.com. I get excited to see new sites pop up and have a look around before I decide to join up. 

It's a free lottery/competition site to win cash/voucher/food items and not many people know about it because I've been chatting with the owner.

I'm used to loading up various raffle/lottery sites from my favourites, checking them and moving on but with this one there is more thought that has gone into it. 

Numbers to be picked and ways to earn extra entries that won't exasperate you, as long as you are willing to be active and put a small bit of effort in.

I've won and claimed so can recommend it. I only talk about sites that I have won from as in the past I have had difficulty with claims and customer service being lapse.

With this site I admit to having taken a personal interest in. I've seen a lot of free prize sites go under and have been able to take or leave them but this one I decided to help.

I'm no marketing expert but as a frequent user of lottery sites I have seen what they should and shouldn't do so I have made some suggestions as to how to attract more people and what could make it easier. 

It feels good to help out and though I don't know if it's enough. I made some solid recommendations. It has since gone under unfortunately. 

Over Easter I tried out the Shloer Rose version for the first time. After I had a weak barely there sip I was amazed it didn't actually contain alcohol. 

As a longtime teetotalist, I think Shloer was the brand that I really latched onto. It had a natural taste that made me feel I wasn't missing out on alcohol. 

I hope it's not a limited edition because it's a new favourite. 

I've also tried out Ritz bakefuls which are delicious but quite pricey at £1.65 and it irks me that just like Snack a Jacks multipack Ritz has 5 packets and Snack a Jacks have 4. 

Why are they less than the usual 6 packet combination that is more value for money?

You suck the joy out of everyone around you!

You bring people down. You make everything about you. There is no silver lining. You wait for people to cheer you up and you whine endlessly on without being proactive. 

Killjoys are an utter nightmare to be around. As bad as my life is, I can still disengage from it, to charm, tease, care and listen to others.

I don't walk into a room and bore someone with my life story and problems. I tend to just keep it light and playful.

Why can't you do the same? Make some small talk. Share an interesting fact. I don't want to hear about your love life, your trust issues or your loneliness. 

I have my own dramas that I am smart enough and nice enough to keep to myself.

Everybody else will try to make the best of a difficult situation but you just milk it and thrive on the attention. Do you think it makes you stand out as being unique? 

I have news for you, it really doesn't. In fact you come across as a sad individual with no self help skills.

Stop talking so much, try listening better and for goodness sake do something about your inconsequential existing issues because frankly you are really starting to irritate me and for now I'm basically stuck in the same circle as you.