#BlogLife1076 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 27 - Fairly Legal

This is actually a cute lil show, only two seasons sadly, about a lawyer/mediator, dealing with a messy, still in love but upcoming separation/divorce..

Being a workaholic, having a step Mama/boss, a flirty colleague, which I'm not a fan of him, I prefer her ex.

A cool bestie assistant that's a straight shooter but he's loyal, who seems her only friend aside from her brother.

And the death of her Papa. She wants to see the good in people.

I didn't really understand their relationship, the closer the divorce, the closer they became.

They both seemed to need each other, professionally and personally but she sorta pushed him away and then he confessed he cheated and before that, said I kinda wish I'd never met you, I mean ouchy.

I know, we all know, whoever they start off, they rarely end up together, so a break was imminent.

I'm still holding out for a reconciliation. They suit each other, balance each other out.

I wonder if it will be a cliffhanger ending like Benson?

Something that was on my mind, was the potential of her ex hubby's office being bugged and the thought never occurred?

By his rival boss? They had a private conversation at work and suddenly his boss knows? Aren't you curious, how he found out?

Nope and then you continue to have more sketchy chats in your office, weird to me.

I'm not really keen on her using people, even if it's to benefit someone deserving.

You don't really see her appreciative thank yous. Send someone a bottle or take them out to dinner, don't continue to play them, just because they have a soft spot for you.

That's called selfish manipulation.

Ugh I'm not going to get my wish, so they are back sleeping together but are not trying to reconcile, which is sad..

She gonna choose the idiot colleague instead.. Ugh..

I'm not happy with the pre ending, the ex did fight for her and she's pretending she's happy with him

But why isn't she? I can only think it's because he cheated and somehow doesn't trust him to really be there and stay..

The colleague said, I know why you went back to him, instead of a date with me, it's because he's safe and we are uncertain and you can't control it...

I just think the colleague isn't right and that's why she'll eventually pick him for real because it has an expiry date.

Her ex that is real, that you have to work on and compromise and mature...

She seems content to be a child sadly. Ugh not liking her behaviour.

Her ex surprises her, even though he has an early start, instead of her saying, right I hear you, appreciate this fantastic night..... Let's leave so you're refreshed tomorrow..

She's like yea, keep drinking, let's keep partying. Does she only care about herself and men fawning over her shallowness?

Seems so...  I knew I'd hate the ending, she broke up with her ex and the fact she kept repeating....

I know you think I'm scared and just running away.... I thought you so are chickening out!!

It's pathetic. She didn't get on with her step Mama, but ending up staying with her, rent free, probably no chores, no grocery shopping and at first they were not close..

But why didn't she stay with her brother? Probably because he left or was written out....

But a grown woman, you can't go apartment hunting? Get a car?

You're just relying on your assistant to chauffeur you like a brat? Irritated me.

For the most part, I did enjoy it, but her pattern of selfish behaviour, got grating.

Treat others with respect, the world doesn't revolve around your needs and figure out what you want, instead of continually hurting others because it's not right.

And I know blah blah, it's just a show but still.... Ha, what will the next binge be???

#BlogLife1070 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 26 - Mistresses

Umm I'm feeling really sore today, typing is painful, my feet are delicate but the rest of me is good.

I'm rewatching this show. I think for the most part I enjoyed it. I guess 4 main women are the stars.

One is married and just cheated on her hubby after a row and a flirty colleague, paid her attention, obviously to seduce her and she fell for it.

I mean, I get feeling alone in a relationship, vulnerable and upset and frustrated but tanking your whole relationship for a bit of fun??

Doesn't seem worth it. The next female is her flighty, flirty sister, seems to use men to get what she wants and then moves on to the next one.

She doesn't really interest me. The next is a psychiatrist, the most unprofessional one you'll ever meet...

She confuses the hell out of me. Had an affair with her dying patient, then prescribed him the drugs to finish him off..

And instead of cutting ties with the entire family, to keep out of jail and losing your licence...

Instead she cosies up to them. The wifey, being investigated by the life insurance company and the son, who's obsessed with her....

Where is your self preservation? It is nuts! I want to shake sense into her.

All she had to say was, former patients, their notes get shredded to preserve confidentiality.

Now she's faking notes? Good grief, where is your sense?

Lastly the other friend, who is a widow and just found out, her hubby was cheating and had a child and was going to leave her...

I don't get her either, she hasn't requested a dna test, is content to pay them off and she doesn't even know if it's legitimately illegitimate lol.

Yes, so quite messy but interesting. Only 3 are mistresses really..

It's not really spicy, it's just complicated. As the seasons go on, it's irritating, the same mistakes and no growth.

Every time one of them is happy, quick let's sabotage it and be miserable... Ugh...

I just unpacked the groceries and because I'm used to doing that on the weekend, I feel a lil disorientated.

I convinced myself it was Friday or Saturday. I was confused why the bins outside weren't empty.

The trash day is Monday but they come on Fridays, actually, honestly, whenever the hell they feel like it..

Everything was in stock and I've already googlied how to open jars, because the salsa is stuck really tight..

I hate jars but I have to get what is on sale. I wanted to have a lil taste but I'll deal with that and the yucky post later..

I can't say I have an appetite yet, it's only 9amish. Hmmm the fan won't charge and I used it a lot yesterday.

So strange.

Just tried the umm custard jelly thingy combo dessert. It's soo good, very creamy..

I don't miss the trifle-esque cream and sponge cake... It doesn't need it.

By the way it's not morning, I'm flipping between posts and other stuff so it's actually 3pmish ha.

Hmm I finished the series. It annoyed me. One main character up and left vaguely.

The other died and somehow came back ish.. Either stolen identity, amnesia, or some other crap..

I thought at least the one that left would have made a cameo via video but she wasn't really mentioned with significance..

Then the one who got involved with her sister's ex, they didn't seem to fit.

As friends, were besties, as partners, liars...

The last friend, kinda settled with a man-child. All in all unsatisfying.

Anyway now I'm onto Fairly Legal, seems cute.

I had a horrid nights sleep, just couldn't rest. I'm not going to do much, my brain is fried.

The humidity is awful but luckily, the fan is sorta charging and weirdly lasting all day..

Ha tomorrow the bread will be finished too. That was fun though, weird toasties with a filling in-between.

#BlogLife1066 - Mindless trash tv :)

I think I forgot to mention I saw Iceland had these new peppered beef koftas so I bought the fancy bread wrap type thing to put it in, that should be nice.

For today though, I have chicken meatballs, cheese and croissants.

What do we call it? Cheesy chickssants? Ha, one day I'll get it right :)

It wasn't peppery the beef but I did enjoy it, more seasoning would have helped.

It's quite small, so two at a time did the trick and with the mayonnaise and cheese, it was really nice and fulling.

I've finished The Family Business, parts of it was dull, others were entertaining..

I don't know if it's renewed or ended. I've just started on something else.

It seems like it's already been cancelled, I'd have to verify on Googly.

Seems cute, it's called Seeking Persephone. It's about a struggling family, a Papa and his daughters..

And out of the blue the eldest gets a marriage proposal from a Duke, they've never met, aren't aware of each other..

But he's so wealthy he's basically offering to pay all their dowries, which is a payment, they offer when they get engaged I think...

Anyway, the groom is quite judgemental and rude. The bride is quite sweet and of course, missing her family.

The really sad gut wrenching thing, is the sisters are neglected by their Papa and don't have anyone talking to them, checking up, caring for them..

There's another woman but I don't know, if she's a sister, a friend, a neighbour or what because, couldn't the youngsters, talk to her??

I ended up finishing it last night, it was only 4 parts but I really liked it.

Sweet and funny and now I have to find something else to get lost in..

I've found something that reminds me of Charmed, I'm not into the witchy stuff, but I like watching relationships break, grow, form, that kinda stuff.

It's called Witches of East End, I'm only on the first episode but my brain already raced ahead and imagined the plot..

In Charmed, Prue dated a cop and I was gutted when he left, in this I've already forgotten her name, is also dating a cop..

In Charmed there was a cat, this also has a cat.

In Charmed it was eventually part set in a bar, guess what? This is too lol.

Basically the plot is two lots of sisters are witches. The Mama and Aunt are aware of their status, the daughters are not.

They seem to be in their twenties, I doubt they are supposed to be teens, but I could be wrong..

One is engaged but she is flighty and is kinda magically drawn to the brother of her intended....

Playing with fire there then.. The other is single but reacquainted with her childhood crush, so newly dating him.

They've just found out they have powers and cue the enemies rolling in..

I guess today will be a day where the blankie is acting up, the weather has turned rainy, which I like but later on it's sunny.

I just got my groceries, everything was there. I was going to try this rice salad, but it wasn't in stock.

Oh the other thing I did because I can't stand it anymore. I ended up buying the Simple face wash, so I can use my face brush again.

Actually touching my face, it doesn't seem to to dry but I miss using it.

The Aquarice wash is just so lumpy and unsuitable. I guess it cleansed my skin, I would not get it again.

It was different. I don't think I'm a fan of Simple, but at least it's smooth and goes on nicely on the brush.

I have a feeling I need deeper cleanses, so I will use them both together.

It's the only one Iceland stocks. I did see they have a moisturiser, so I might get that too.

I'm just trying to budget.

#BlogLife1061 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 24 - The Family Business

Two things, I haven't heard anything from Mama, she could have emailed to say she arrived safely.. Pfft whatever.

Crap how have I already forgotten the other thing? Oh yea, I  found another show to binge.

It's from 2018 and it's called The Family Business, again it reminds me of another show but I can't think of it.

I love Ernie Hudson, I think usually he's playing the good guy, not so much in this..

Roughly it's about a gangstery, criminal family and I suppose, each member are trying to find their place in it?

I'm mainly interested in the female characters, I want them to find love and happiness and all that mushy stuff..

(By the way, eating is a massive chore when you're not hungry).

I'm only still eating the fries slowly because one, it's settled my tum and two, they'll get stale quickly.

My preference is the pakoras but later..

Anyway back to the show, Ernie plays the head, the Papa, Mr intimidating criminal, smuggling drugs or guns, I forget already because that doesn't interest me ha.

He seems to have a good marriage, which is unusual, I thought he'd be a cheater.

I think he's more impressed with the sons, even though they make mistakes, rather than the daughters, typical crap..

The youngest one is tough but crazy lol. I don't really understand the mentality of having her followed and dragged back home, when she's dating and more..

But the sons/acquaintances can hire escorts, sleep around, cheat/beat on their wives and noone bats an eye???

So she's the one that interests me the most and her sister is judgy too but she just had an affair lol.

Hilarious stuff and then the family friend is secretly a mole lol.

Whenever a new romantic love interest comes along, I always hope it's genuine, but it's typically not lol.

I'm gutted my favourite was either fired or left, it just seemed like a blah ending, no real fanfare considering she was a main character..

It's not as interesting now but I wonder if she will return with an update?

It's 8.30am and they are due anytime, which is nerve wracking. I was up at 6/7am and probably slept around 1/2am..

I didn't mop and should have but the pmt, lack of proper sleep and hand/back pain is all climbing so I don't have it in me.

I've opened the windows and took out the bins, tidied but I still feel guilty for not doing more.

The worst thing was I should have been playing the hand pain binaurals but it slipped my mind, it might have been cured by now.

Who knows if they will even show up this time? I'm charging my phone but kept it on.

I don't know if they will text or call to say I'm next or they are on their way...

Or maybe, I'll be stood up again? Oh and I need to call and pay my rent and ask the exact amount due and report it to UC..

But it's too early and I forgot yesterday. I don't know if I should put the blankie on for the pain.

It's not cold or warm.. Oh and I tried those hazelnut cookies.. Um it's the right amount of sweetness.

Just like a nutella spread inside, I prefer it crunchier, not soft so I stuck it in the fridge.

I don't think I would buy it again but it was interesting to sample for something new and different.

Back to the show as I've nearly finished it, so many skeletons. Junior is not their son, well his Aunt Donna is his Mama and his Papa is his Papa....

Then there is a third triplet, not twins? Good grief.

Then the aftermath of Junior being told this makes him snap and turn on everyone that lied to him.

I get him being mad at the family, but mad at his wifey Sonya? That confuses me, she's always been a total sweetheart.

So him being nasty to her and cheating, is so strange. Disrespect, unfaithfulness is my dealbreaker..

Anyway Paris did eventually come back in season 4 I think. I'm glad, I liked her, even though she was a hothead.

I wondered how it would unfold, she found out Niles was a hitman, she's a killer too..

Turns out, that wasn't a dealbreaker, I forgot she lied about her name and his next victim, was her Papa....

She could have so easily told him, you can't accept this job, but she went rogue and bombed his hotel.....

Only he didn't die lol and he decided to haunt her, sending her beautiful blue roses..

Their reunion was fun but sad, he was going to propose, aww..

He said, You could have just told me and I wouldn't have done it and by the way, I still love you....

And then after he left, she confessed she still loves him too.... Seems like her first real heartbreak..

#BlogLife980 - Old tv shows

Sorry for the silence, I was just feeling really rotten. Last night I was cramping and today was no better.

At least half the day, my tum was hurting. Binaural helped off and on. I switched between anti nausea, cramping and pmt videos.

I was browsing on amazon for the coats, saw a few I liked, then boots and slippers, good selections but not really on sale.

P and I will probably fade out, he's less chatty and feels like he's messaging me out of obligation or habit.

I'm not initiating, if someone isn't enthusiastic,  then neither am I. It's all since I called him out on his behaviour of being a user.

I feel like Mama is pressuring me to join her for Christmas. I'm still not in the mood.

I just want to be alone to be at peace and take care of myself.  No more stress or anyone making me feel low.

I'm just done really. The advents are draining but fun, some have games.

I wonder what it's like to fully let your guard down and welcome people in to your space?

I'm starting to think I'll never again do that.

I guess Iceland is running late as someone called and said we've not got the crisps in stock, would you settle for another flavour?

I quite like that, as I'm not stuck with something that I hate. Plus she's really polite and friendly.

An update on the face brush, I'm hazy as to whether I've mentioned this.

I wouldn't recommend it for sensitive skin, even the gentler brush is kinda harsh on the face.

I'm not sure why, it's not painful but you would prefer to be softer.

I don't know why it's like that and it uses up the face wash way too fast.

It's easier to put it directly on my face sometimes. There was something else I was going to mention but I can't recall it.

I'm re-watching an old show, Life Unexpected, it's a love/hate thing, good acting but the premise irritates you because cheating and using and being vicious is the recurring themes.

Basically a 15yr old girl wants to emancipate herself, she's having bad experiences in foster care but for the form, she has to seek out her birth parents which are not level headed people.

The judge gives them custody instead and as usual chaos ensues.

The baby mama has a thing for the baby papa but she acts superior, all the time, totally offputting.

She cheats and doesn't take responsibility, she's rather blame others for her poor choices.

Then the daughter, acts the same, cheats multiple times and is surprised when she's dumped.

Yuckity! I just want to see how it ends though, because I can't remember who ends up with whom lol.

Ick, it's like the writers said I can't be bothered to thaw this out, so we'll switch partners randomly with no rhyme or reason just to wrap it up the way we wanted.

As up until the last episode, they are all kinda set as couples and then fast forward, not so much, sloppy writing.

I guess they didn't expect to be cancelled and then panicked and thought, let's just write nonsense for the ending.

My L'Oreal moisturiser is out for delivery, surprising that was it only ready from 11/12pm and not time frame for a so-called prime slot.

It just says arriving today. The slippers is coming Wednesday and the blankie is due Thursday, please be a good quality.

Please work properly, don't be another bad quality one.

#BlogLife905 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 21 - My Big Fat Fab Life S12/13

I only saw half of season 12 of My Big Fat Fabulous Life and now I'm watching it in full.

I'm now wondering if the reason Whitney mentions having kids so much is not personal preference but to please her Papa, who is determined to get Grandkids.

There were two episodes I was particularly interested in, the psychic one, even though I don't believe in it and knew it would be vague.

And the friends group gathering, in which she questions What's wrong with me?

I wanted to see if there would be a brutal Truth Hurts session.. I don't wish bad things upon her, I just think real friends should be able to admit, when you're behaviour isn't the best and that's why you're unappealing.

Just so that you can take it in, reflect upon it and not see it as a vicious attack but something you can learn from and evolve into someone mature and wholesome to be around.

I like what Jessica said, don't think of it in serious terms, like he'll be your future hubby, see it as casual dating.

Oof she saw shot Lenny down quickly, when he said You're definitely better than you were..

And then when he was alone, he admitted, she's too picky and expects love to fall in her lap without making any effort to find it.

She asks their opinions but is not interested in hearing it. She needs one a professional straight talking therapist and two a professional matchmaker.

The only view that matters to her is from her Papa but he's quite single minded, he wants her to be skinny, married and produce kids.

That's not going to happen without changes. Oh she did hire a matchmaker..

In season 13 which has just launched there's supposed to be significant weight loss, going from the rumours from a weight loss pill.

An example of thoughtlessness is that she doesn't want her Papa to sell her family home, even though that's what he wants, so she's renovating a downstairs room, to manipulate him into staying put.

Why hasn't she tried speed dating or some sort of singles mixer group meet and greet thingy?

Her negative qualities that her friends are too scared to mention are... That she's a bad listener.

Puts her needs above everyone else's. Is quite bossy and demanding, is not independent, always need to rope someone in to accompany her to places.

Doesn't ask if they are free, just demands they come along with her. Why can't she manage to do things by herself as a grown up?

Plus reddit is full of theories that debunk her truths, why not just be transparent?

You lose all credibility when you lie. She's making less and less effort to go places.

Could even be simple things like pampering treatments, grocery shopping, going for walks, some outdoor hobby, some purpose that she's passionate about.

That's what is missing. If she was serious about finding someone she would make more of an effort to get out there and mingle.

If she needs constant motivation to do things, it feels like she should hire a drill sergeant personal assistant to get more accomplished.

Outdoor activities, could be joining various dance classes. Learning new languages.

Trying out different cuisines, an arts and crafts workshop? The whole Kenny thing, I don't know if he was interested or not, the family did seem to be pressuring him to romance her..

Oh ok, I can't find the last three episodes of season 12, so onto 13 then.

Hmm, she was in London ok, teaching a class and then Tal was kind enough to pick her up from the airport, did she ask him a single thing about how he was doing? 

Nope, hogged the conversation completely. Friendship is give and take, not just me me me. 

It's about checking in and asking the person, Enough about me, tell me about what's new with you?

That's a lot weird Tal expected Whitney to cut Ashley out of her life because he had beef with her?

Not very mature, their friendship is a separate thing.

Once again this season she's talking about moving away? Didn't she try that before and it didn't work out?

What about her Papa that moved in with her or is temporarily there because of grief and declining health and/or loneliness?

The whole baby storyline is silly, to be a parent you have to be mature and selfless and she's neither of those.

#BlogLife903 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 20 - Virgins TV Show

It's been a bit of a slow day brain wise. I wrote half a post and there didn't seem to be anything more to add so I thought this new show I've gotten into, let's make a post about that.

It's been a while since I did a Chatty Chicks, it's not limited to films, I just liked that it was catchy and rhymed ha.

Anyway, I don't want much reality shows. I like My Big Fat Fabulous Life because I want to see her evolve.

In the past I loved Celebrity Fit Club, Celebrity Wife Swap, lots of drama there, but sometimes a lil too over the top.

Anyway back to Virgins, I was looking for something new to unwind for the evening and I saw this and thought Hmm, I don't know..

But I clicked on it and it's surprisingly interesting, not too be unkind but some characters are more likeable than others.

It's about 4 adult virgins who haven't dated much and some are insecure and hesitant let's say.

It does bring up a lot of questions. When is the right time to say you're a virgin?

Most people seem to run a mile when that's divulged and you don't want to invest and then have them disappear.

Although me personally bringing up sexual things on a first date, sets a bad precedent, from then on it seems to become the main focus.

That's been my experience anyway. Then again, honesty is best right? It's a delicate matter.

On to the characters, I don't want to give too much away. First up the only male Alex.

He's 34yrs, living at home with the family and has social anxiety, he seems sweet, approachable, caring.

But that's going to be awkward bringing dates home...

Then there is Rhasha, she's 42yr and probably the bubbliest of them all.

I think she's outwardly confident and open to new experiences and dating but like Alex, deep down there's insecurities.

And also her wanting to explore something means, she's going to need a partner that she trusts implicitly....

What strikes me, is that they all assume sex will be this natural beautiful experience but you need to know, trust and care for the person and vice versa for it to be like that.

Sonali is 37yrs and is probably the shyest and most reserved out of the bunch.

I'm almost wondering if there's trauma or she's closeted because she seems stunted.

She definitely needs therapy or to start journaling about what's really going on because something is way off.

Deanne is 35yrs and is similar to Sonali. I don't know if she's been through something or is closeted.

She appears strong willed and very confident but inside I think she's a mess.

On the date she barely conversed at all. Even if you're not interested, I would still engage, I just wouldn't flirt, but I would be polite and ask questions.

She only wants highly attractive possibilities, in looks and body wise, these pretty boy males.

But those types are going to want experienced loose women and how can she compete?

Plus they will banter also, it's almost like she doesn't want to emotionally or intellectually connect, but why not???

Does she feel she won't measure up? I find that strange. Worse still it's like they are going to pick anyone and sleep with them.

There is a lot that goes in the head with intimacy, it's really not going to be that easy to just sleep with someone and expect them to treat you well or call you the next day.

That's why I hope they all take it slowly. I think if someone likes them enough, they'll ask questions, why they waited so long?

They won't rush them, but get to know them and take it step by step.

The dates and exercises have been interesting so far, go karting, selfie something, (not my preference).

And that workshop, where it was in a controlled atmosphere but they hugged, held hands, flirted a lil, was a good icebreaker.

I might add to this as the series moves on. Yeesh heart just stopped as I heard the loudest thud against my walls outside as a ball repeatedly slammed into it, as though the glass was gonna smash.

Ughhhhhh stress!!!

Last thing, for Sonali they recommended a sexual surrogate who is trained to put the inexperienced at ease.

That seems so extreme. Who would want their precious first time to be with someone like that??

I would have suggested to start reading trashy romance novels, to get into that romantic mindset.

I just thought of something else, the surrogate is pushing her to explore her body, especially below the waist and she's dead against.

For her, seems immoral. I just realised a good compromise would be to start with her upper body? A chest massage?

I don't want to be graphic at all but the show is called Virgins..

I always think when a patient isn't responsive to a suggestion, there surely must be a workaround?

When I started attended Church, I was taught the same thing, that self exploration of one's own body was a sin, so in a way it still feels wrong.

In that aspect I can understand where she is coming from. I was reading the Twitter comments and someone pointed she might even be asexual.

Which means someone without desires, attractions. Hmm I don't think that is the case exactly, Sonali claimed she falls in love via a kiss.

She clearly doesn't know what love is, that is a deep connection to someone. Knowing them inside and out.

But there must have been some feelings involved, most likely an infatuation or crush.

#BlogLife901 - And another thing..

One other thing that's been annoying me is that when the twit UC advisor called me up, he said next time you're late pop a message into the journal.

Ahem!! I don't think I've been late for your meetings ever so that's insulting, I'm usually there early and it's You that keeps me waiting!!

Secondly, I could barely stand and function, you want me to stop, try and remember the login, get the stupid idiotic text security, paste that and try and type in my present state??

Twit! When I got up to ask the staff for help in the library I was so shaky I had to hold onto her desk, otherwise I felt like I was gonna fall or collapse!

Jerk! Anyway had to get that off my chest.

I forgot to mention that as I was emptying the old bag to transfer the contents, in the lining, I felt something and I thought Oh my...I thought you were lost.

Any guesses? I'll wait.. Nope, not that either, shakes my head, sorry none of you were correct.

I found, not one, but two...... Tweezers ha! I literally bought a set and soon after thought I had accidentally chucked one away but nooo it was caught in the lining, how weird.

I have an update on the drops I bought, it doesn't cure the dry eyes, it's just refreshing in the moment.

I think I've used better quality ones but these were very cheap. I don't know if I would recommend them, my eyes are non stop itchy and dry at the moment so I'm using them a lot, whereas other ones, I'm sure I only used them once or twice a day..

TV wise, I'm re-watching Kiralik Ask on Youtubey to see if I like it any better and can finish it the second time around, hmm.

Also I found a new show called Outrageous, the British version of Bridgerton but tamer, less laughs, less wildness, actually it's a lot sadder.

I wish they had lightened it up. It's about a former wealthy, now struggling family and their daughters mainly.

Ok I've just checked the UC payment for the end of the month, expecting to see the usual £800ish and they've bumped it back up to what is was before when they were covering the whole rent.

What's even stranger is that, previously in May when they paid the £800ish only, they've rewritten the statement to say they paid me just over £1k.

What is going on? They love to drive me around the bend. I'm not questioning it, if my bills are covered and I can get groceries, that's all I want.

But what on earth made them change their minds? It's so perplexing, why do I think, in July it will drop back down to £800ish again?

Could the landlord have told them about all the supposed arrears I was charged over the years since moving in??

Did they take into account suddenly my health conditions? They've continually said No you're not entitled for full rent coverage and now they've whimsically changed their minds yet again.

I'm thankful, I really am. I just wish their was some stability so I could stop worrying for good.

#BlogLife899 - Ask Laftan Anlamaz - Is this what passes for romance??

I have six episodes of this dreadful series to get through. I do not fault the acting at all, sometimes it's a bit hammy over the top but it's entertaining-ish.

This is a fluff post so I'll just share what it's about, I might have done this already though.

I'm watching it on Youtubey, but half the time the English subtitles are missing so that's really annoying.

It actually reminds me of two other shows, Kiralik Ask because it's a similar plot with the boss/employee, huge deception between them.

And then also Sefirin Kizi because of the constant abuse. I stopped watching both of those shows because I couldn't stand it any longer, deceiving and hurting someone you care about, is not my idea of romantic escapism.

Anyway back to the show, the main character Hayat and Murat have a contentious relationship.

She starts off as an unqualified assistant who masquerades as someone better qualified and a friend of the family but no-one knows what she looks like, so she gets away with it.

I can't stand that both the main characters are unlikable self centred egotistical people that only care about themselves.

When their friends are having a hard time, they bring it back to themselves for sympathy......Yuck!

Also the problem with a lot of Turkish dramas is that somehow the writers think disrespectful abusive tyrants are romantic heroes????

Why?? In real life they would be dumped and avoided. Do you want a partner that's constantly painfully and forcefully grabbing your arm and dragging you places?

Do you want someone throwing all your mistakes in your face, all the time and plummeting your self esteem to nothingness?

Lastly do you want someone yanking your wrist so hard you're yelping in pain? Slapping your face? Pushing you?

Forbidding you from leaving the house or talking normally to any other males???

No, no, no you do not!! So you can't help but wonder, what are the writers thinking when all this is acceptable, lovey dovey behaviour?

The fact that the friends and family are pushing them together and she almost dies at the end, sickens me but I'm nearly at the end so I just want to see what the result is.

In my head, she's left him to be with someone normal that doesn't abuse her but obviously I know that is not the case.

If the two leads have strong opinions, that's fine, you can get some back and forth, when there's obscene jealousy and violence though? Nope nope nope, just wrong.

That wouldn't work in real life, first it's grabbing, then slapping, then eventually it's punching, it doesn't suddenly improve.

And it's worse that he's manipulative, first nice and apologetic but when she doesn't accept it, he blames her and invades her personal space, not giving her a moments peace.

It's suffocating to be with someone that possessive that you can't have your own interests and career without them.

She literally wants to thrive and he wants her to be a good lil wifey and dote on him constantly and make him bloody coffee?

So he critiques her work, her passions because he's jealous she wants to do something without him.

Is that disgusting or what?? I can't recommend it at all, started off cute and then just got so bad.

Plus they don't trust the other is faithful at all. What kinda marriage is that?

On one hand it's sad and on the other, they just play so many games at each other's expense and it always backfires.

So dumb! Sorry I did want to like this but I just don't. It's something that bugs me, that thing of being made to feel bad or incapable constantly pushed buttons and being manhandled???

Nope can't stand it! The last straw was him saying You're not allowed to leave the house and he was purposely getting dolled up as though he was gonna cheat on her..

I mean seriously???? She's not a wife, she's a prisoner and yet he can say to her Where have you been? With whom??

But heaven forbid she ask him the same thing. Ugh! Watch it if you must, me personally I prefer when the males respect their partners.

#BlogLife882 - It's not how you look but how you feel..

That's not bad, the Iceland shop just arrived and I unpacked it and thought I would make an early breakfast but actually I don't feel hungry as of yet, so I grabbed some hula hoops instead ha.

I had an Android update for my A16 Samsung but no version 15 yet but apparently soon.

I enjoyed the salmon pasta from Zoom so much that I bought some more, this said lightly smoked but is the real version of salmon, the fillet variety, I hate the thin stuff, yuck.

I don't know what I'll do with it, probably add it to some sandwiches as I have half a loaf of bread left and not sure what to pair with it.

I got into yet another new show Code of Silence about a deaf woman who reads lips and ends up helping the cops but she get's over involved.

I know I shouldn't compare it to Sight Unseen as she is an actual detective who is blind but I can't help it as the main character in Code of Silence is so much more likeable ha.

Ugh this weekend is up and down because I have so much breast pain and cramps and nausea.

I think I will get another period soon, it's the only thing that explains it. I feel icky.

Ugh Twitter is acting up, it's not loading properly so I will leave it for a while but I was just wondering about something.

I'm a very ordinary person, the opposite to a celebrity but how do you feel when the lead people starring in a show or movie, like your tweets?

It's only happened to me twice and I go to their profile assuming it's a doppelganger fan page but it wasn't.

I'm chuffed but the cynical side of me thinks it's probably just their assistant reading out tweets they were mentioned in and not them personally acknowledging it.

My first instinct is to thank them and then I feel like I would be bothering them, I mean who am? A mediocre person.

I just find it entertaining to talk about films or tv shows because it generally relaxes me. It's escapism from real life heartaches.

By the way I've finished Code of Silence and highly recommend it, it wasn't too predictable, lots of action and giggles.

It's not often you see people with disabilities in the main role. In one sense it's don't underestimate us and in another sense it's could/should I be doing more?

Then the guilt washes over me and the pain rears it's ugly head. I feel useless most of the time anyway.

I guess in my case, people assume I'm faking or exaggerating the symptoms and I only I know the truth about my daily struggles.

The physical and mental toll. The inner peace I get from distancing myself away from others.

Talking of which I stayed away from chat for a few weeks while I was recuperating but last night it was too early to sleep so I popped on looking for one person JR.

And actually the first thing he said made me laugh instantly. Omg, you're alive? Ha, he is such a ham!!

So we had a mini update and then he had an early night so excused himself, I was glad because I was tired too.

He's a fly by night, not interested in a deeper connection, hasn't asked for email or a number, which tells me he's probably not as single as he makes out.

He is after all a J and those are dubious, every one of those, ha! But until I know for sure, we'll keep chatting.

#BlogLife880 - All over the place

Song of the day - Dave Hollister - Yo Baby's Daddy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCq6CRf8Ygg

Apologies I know it's another late post but I had a late night and late morning and busy day, so here I am, with thoughts scattered around.

Song of the day is back because as I was getting up this morning, I had the playlist going and it reminded of of when I was younger.

That's when I used to have the answering machine on, for my mobile, but instead of an outgoing generic message, I would play a snippet of a song, so whichever guy I was avoiding that was plaguing me with calls, would constantly hear it.

And it made me laugh because these songs had such cutting vocals at times, much better than I could articulate back then.

Anyway I tried out the Marks cheesy ravioli, it had too much tomatoey sauce and weirdly not enough cheese inside, it was nice pasta but again needed more seasoning and more cheese.

Odd that Mark's meals are very hit and miss for the price. Two newish shows maybe, I'm not sure of the release date.

One was called The Royals and luckily the english subtitles for this indian show were spectacular for once.

It's about this CEO Sophia who takes on a project to build and market a hotel centred around this Royal family.

Her love interest is Aviraaj/Fizzy, an irresponsible playboy Royal.

I wanted to like both or either of them but I really didn't. The lead Sophia just seems usery/manipulative.

I feel like the show wants us to feel sorry for her, or root for her success but as I continued watching, I couldn't care less.

It was the whole personality, the friction between the leads a quick hookup and then saying You're not my type I don't like you and expecting him to tolerate that and what?

Beg for a chance? Pfft. Then flirting with her ex who was convenient for an ego boost but at the same time throwing it in his face, he was jealous of her.

Yuckity yuck, I was rooting for him to leave her asap and he was headhunted away, thankfully, she stopped being able to use him and he grew tired of her bs.

The lead himself was troubled but he was push/pulling her away also, and I know that's typical standard fashion but only if the characters are likeable, which I didn't find they were.

Enough of that, onto the next one Pulse. I got happy as soon as I saw Justina Machado was starring in it.

It's about these young group of Doctors navigating through life and work.

One the lead, Danny/Danielle, is promoted after accusing her former mentor/boss (Xander) of sexual harassment.

She seems to have trouble coping with stress and confidence and experiences panic attacks regularly.

But as the story unfolds, I find it weird because both her and the love interest are flirting and dating and getting along mostly.

It all seems consensual, then she's changing in front of him and agrees to working along side of him without flinching???

It just seems like she's playing games or sabotaging his career on purpose.

I know it's just fiction but if she is lying I hope she get's reprimanded for it, that hits close to home to me as I've experienced a lot of harassment and it's not joke.

It is entertaining apart from that sordidness, although not keen on the gory bits.

#BlogLife850 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 19 - Redemption/Rookie Feds

I just started watching two old shows, both I think were cancelled.

Redemption is a UK show, about an estranged Mama-daughter relationship.

As a teen, the daughter runs away from her overbearing parents and starts a new life, reinvents herself, doesn't reunite with her old life, has two children..

Then the Mama who is an Inspector detectivey cop gets a call that a woman was found and she was the next of kin.

Fast forward I think the Grandmother ends up adopting the kids, moving to Liverpool and starting her career there.

The daughter's death is ruled a suicide but she didn't leave a note, no cryptic goodbyes to the kids?

I bet it was murder. Then the Grandmother finds pills and money, that her workplace suspended her from.

Wouldn't the Police have searched the property for clues, a suicide note? Shouldn't they have found the bag full of pills/money?

Also why didn't the Grandmother, hand the bag over to the Police to aid the investigation?

Added to the craziness there is a break-in, obviously they are looking for the bag.

She has young children, they are going to break in again, you're willing to put the kids and yourself in danger?

Odd, odd odd!

I'm thinking it's not necessarily the Mama's loot, maybe one of the kids are drug dealing?

Also suspicious is the daughter's ex wasn't at the funeral, I don't think, yet he skulked around, let himself into their place to collect his belongings.

He could have called to arrange a time, he could have posted the keys back.

Did he return for his stuff or was it the drugs/money?

Also I wasn't keen on the granddaughter's attitude/cursing. If it wasn't for the Grandmother you'd be in a damn care home or on the streets, show some damn respect.

I wouldn't tolerate that, I would instill manners while they are young so they can function politely in the world, the kids are a reflection of the family..

Hmm she really should have been transparent about the custody issue.

Plus she needs to scare the granddaughter straight, she's dealing drugs and laughing about it, not worried about jail, or arrests.

Maybe because the grandmother was strict with her daughter, she's afraid to be harsh with the kids but being too soft is counter productive.

She'll go from selling to using to prostitution to jail, it's not going to be a pretty result, college university success.

The second show is a spinoff from Rookie. I did used to enjoy that but it got too dark.

When it's too heavy like that, it wrecks my mind. I want something light and entertaining, so the spinoff seems more humorous and gentle.

Two recent bestie recruits join the FBI and are finding their way. One the guy is an ex actor, the other is an ex school counsellor.

It's cute. They keep having crossovers with The Rookie which I don't mind.

I wish it had lasted longer. I liked the closeness and friendships, plus the romances. 

#BlogLife838 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 18 - The Have and The Have Nots

This is an old tv show that I just started watching recently. I'm on a Tyler Perry binge, it's soo good though, the intricate stories and the layers unfolding.

One minute you're laughing, then sad, then confused, then shocked.

It's quite brilliant how it unravels. It's mainly centred on this family, with a wealthy complicated dynamic.

The kids both went through trauma, one is suicidal, one is an addict.

The hubby is a serial cheater, the wifey has cancer and noone in the family knows, just the kind maid, who becomes a friend.

Then on top of that, the son's addiction counsellor has a serious crush on him, but he's closeted because his parents will disown him if he comes out.

But the son is straight and he's trying to combat his insecurities and reconcile with his girlfriend, only the counsellor is sabotaging it.

On one hand, you feel sorry that he's stuck and his parents aren't supportive and on another, you're seriously creeped out by his actions.

He's a therapist, he's supposed to be neutral. I hope that eventually he'll fire himself as a therapist and seek help to come to terms with his identity.

That's why in counselling, you're supposed to undergo it first, before you treat others, how can you know the right thing to do or say otherwise?

Except for me, I think I did pretty well but it was draining. I just felt my own stresses on top of it and it got too much.

Although at least I am trying to explore everything that's happened to me and how I'm feeling, that's not professional but it's a gateway at least to understanding myself.

Anyway the last thread is the husband's latest mistress turns out to be his frail daughter's new bestie.

And she blackmails him, ha and complications ensue when he and his bestie retaliate.

Goodness me it's a lot, but very fascinating. I have to say though during today's chat date.

I ended up adding a bit to one of the stories. It wasn't much and not really anything major but at least it's helping to move it along.

I love that he was working and multi tasking and still could maintain a conversation.

Today he brought up the number swap thingy and I'm ok with it but he's slowing down the pace and I can't say it bothers because we chat daily now.

Well kinda always have from the beginning and now it's migrated to during the day too, not just evenings.

I'm content as long as I get the daily post out and sort out my emails and all the UC obligations.

Then I usually break up the day with munchies, watching half an episode and gaming, Looney Tunes, Scrabble, Match Masters or Klondike.

But the time does fly because sometimes I'm working on what to say tomorrow but actually I have a few drafts at the moment, with various themes.

I doubt if I'll see him tonight, I'll check at 9pm as he was off to the gym.

I'm going to watch Tracker and there is a new episode of Found out.

The problem with these shows is, there are so many gaps between episodes, I forget what on earth is happening.

There is a new love interest for Candace the former mistress he seems decent but I think it's a long con game.

He's just almost perfect. I cringe that he said he was looking for someone exotic, ickkkkk.

I always feel like it makes us non-caucasians sound like we're a novelty object, something to capture, have fun with and discard because it's a bucket list, we're not people, we're playthings.

The other thing he said was that he's a serial cheater and womaniser, he chases, conquers and then moves on.

But the way he's kinda romancing her, it doesn't seem like a fling.

I think he's trying to implicate her in insider trading or some other shady deal, to lose her cash and therefore lose her security.

I do actually hope that's not the case, if he's a good guy, it will be her first.

He's dangling this investment bait but deliberately not pushing to make her think, it's her idea.

That's why I don't trust him, he's pushing her to be vulnerable, this lets her guard down, and you don't think straight, when that happens.

You're just want to stay warm and fuzzy, not cautious about motives..

I just want to add this theory as I am near the end. The daughter Amanda ends up allegedly committing suicide as she goes through another catastrophic event.

If it was murder I thought the only person with a motive was her attacker but then high on drugs the brother blurted something out.

I wonder if in his fractured delusional state he murdered her and made it appear as a suicide?

Because he ended up shooting his Papa and his Mama but not directly at his Mama, it turns out, he spared her..

He blames his parents for not protecting him and thinks they don't care but then he's full of self loathing and insecurities.

Mistaking friendship for exploitation. Anyway as usual I am over-thinking it all.

I can just relate to the angst of that constant building turmoil and if you don't get help or a release, it explodes.

What's the motive for killing his sister? Maybe she was too much of a burden?

Maybe he wanted to spare her any further pains? Or maybe he thought with his family gone, he could just erase the past like it never happened, no reminders left....?

He doesn't want to help himself, that's what annoys me, ample opportunities and consequences and still no growth or realisation that he has to help himself, no-one can wave a wand and fix him instantly.

#BlogLife782 - I'm sick of stressing

I was looking for something to watch to put my mind at ease and I discovered that DI Ray season 2 was finally out.

I'm completely hooked and already trying to unravel the mystery and work out who the baddies are..

I'm resigned to whatever is going to happen next, I don't have a good feeling at all.

More and more things seem to pile on and yep I am a pessimist but then my life isn't exactly easy either, hence this whiny blog.

Oh I tried the Balconi hazelnut cake rolls, quite nice and that reviewer is right, it is almost like a cake version of Ferreros.

I don't know if I would purchase it again, I prefer other cake styles.

In the Match Masters game, I've found a good active team, I was going to quit but gaming relaxes me so I've stayed.

I would say the only negative thing about them is that they are booster snobs, only the highest and best will do, when if you're desperate or skilled, you can make any one work for you, well.

I don't understand that mentality of, asking for boosters and then rejecting them because they are not good enough..

If that was me, I would take take take.

There's no real updates and that's why I'm struggling to write because all I do is constantly worry about not being able to survive and take care of myself.

I go to sleep panicking, I wake in the middle of the night.. It's the first thing I think about in the morning, there is no getting away from it.

I've done what I could but even that doesn't feel enough and they love making the claims extra difficult.

When am I going to catch a break? When is there going to be some peace of mind?

It's getting increasingly harder to stay upbeat and not crumble into a pile of tears.

My hormones are all over the place and I guess at the moment, I feel what is the point of carrying on?

What is the point of anything, when I feel I have no future?

#BlogLife775 - I'm my own heroine and will save moiself..

I've played and completed some of the Unsolved games but some are blocked by bugs and I'm unable to finish so I just start on something else.

I didn't realise under that one application, there were so many games, which is cool.

I just wish it wasn't so problematic but it is free with the option to buy energy or hints but I watch the non existent adverts or just quit for a while to focus elsewhere.

Yesterday I saw a volunteer customer service role I applied for, it's a bit confusing as on one hand it says Work From Home and then it also says On Location, tad perplexing.

I think I prefer the befriender type roles, they seem the least taxing but I suppose it depends on who you are talking too..

It's another freezing wintry day and on the 18th or 19th Matlock with what's her name is officially beginning.

Kathy Bates, that's it, she's very impressive in whatever she does and it made me laugh as she was playing this weak and feeble person, Yea right, she is tough as nails.

I saw the Pilot and it's a story within a story. I probably shouldn't give away spoilers.

Last night I watched the new season, well the first episode of Tracker, that was good too.

The spinoff to Citadel is Diana but it's in French I think so will pass on that.

Palm Royale another costume drama, that isn't really, seems like Desperate Housewives, a woman eager to fit in to the high life but doesn't realise, it's not all that. Hmm..

I've just finished grooming, trimmed my hair, filed my nails and did my brows.

I plucked a bit too and they seem actually passable. I prefer them thinner but it is what it is.

No sign of Postie today, unless he hasn't arrived or I missed him but I doubt it.

It's just past 4pm and I'll post this now and munch.