#BlogLife832 - Witchcraft - You owe owe owe

Well well well. I finally got another call from the Witch herself. She admitted this is dragging on from October and that as I'm not co-operating and not giving her the answers she wants, she's turning it over to be escalated.

I can only give her what I'm able too. The Paypal statements such as they are.

She's making out like I've told her to Get lost and I won't do anything she asks but it's the opposite.

I've wrecked my body in pain and exhaustion, trying to get everything she asks done, within the deadlines, while putting up with her abusive attitude.

I mean I've thought it but I've maintained civility and always been polite, not matter how rude and misleading she has been.

How she expects me to remember details of decades ago is beyond me, I barely recall what happened yesterday, let alone a lifetime ago.

Anyway this time, she didn't mention anything about blocking my Paypal account that she was threatening to do.

So maybe she doesn't have the authority to do it, like the Paypal representative told me.

It would be a relief to know I still have access to it, she didn't mention jail time, just a likelihood of there being a repayment action forthcoming, which I expected.

I just don't know the thousands of bankruptable amount that I will owe to them.

So thankfully I do not have to go to the flipping library and print out anymore 100's of printouts.

She said she'll send me a note for official permission, I mean she asked me for access to my bank accounts, past and present and I said Of course you have it.

I don't exactly have a choice and my suspicion is, as she drags this out for even longer..

At the end of this month it will be 5 months of harassment and threats and depression, to get answers that I've given time and time again, that she deems inadequate....

When in fact she knows facts and figures anyway, has probably already contacted the bank/paypal to get the answers she seeks.

But to torture me, she just keeps calling and calling and asking me impossible questions.

Such as Oh why did you even open up a Paypal account in the first place and how much was the balance at the time?

How the hell do I know???? It was decades ago, I was a teenager.

I didn't even know what Paypal was, I did it to use Ebay and stretch the savings, to cover my expenses, plus I'm ill, online shopping is essential.

Again she asked my Paypal balance and she remarked Oh it's climbed down, and I said yes I transferred some over to the current account as I don't want to be overdrawn, and the bills are climbing.

She seemed satisfied with that, which is the truth, the bills just seem like they are doubling.

The laptop is old, the microwave is old, the blankie is old, all these will need replacing at some point.

So she'll send me a letter, I'll sign and return it and then we'll see what other madness, interrogation, tiresome bs, she asks me to do next.

Oh and the other thing she keeps harping on about was when my ex brother reported me, he picked a random number 30k.

So she keeps mentioning that specific detail and I don't recall that much ever being in Paypal.

I'm just remembering something, when I was kicked out, my place wasn't ready, so I was living in a hotel.

I tried to find a place to rent but it was pricey so the hotel it was, while my savings depleted.

Then I think maybe a few weeks or months later when I moved in, I was billed for the previous tenant's expenses.

Energy, rent arrears, there was loads of costs, that was not my responsibility, that I had to account for.

At least the energy bills, I was refunded for because I had to put the wooden floors in, blinds, furniture, pay for labour and materials.

Pay Mama back because she covered my expenses while I was in hospital, I was still on crutches then.

I don't recall when I was released from hospital but the pain was still excruciating.

I was still struggling to walk and plagued by panic attacks.

I had to pay for cleaners. I think bailiffs actually knocked on the door and I explained I was the new tenant and they left.

Then I was paying the full rent amount, plus the other bills, water, taxis, phone, broadband, tax, tv, landline, groceries..

Eventually the inheritance over the years got used up. There's probably £6 left in total from the early 2000s and that's it.

I'm guessing all of that and more will vanish before or maybe during Easter, unless she fancies dragging it on until Christmas again.....

Who knows? Like I said, I just want peace to try and take care of myself while my functionality decreases and the pain intensifies and takes over my body.

Let her do what she wants 2019 bank searches until present day.

I just have no energy to be hounded anymore. All I've ever tried to do is look after myself and take care of anything Mama needs.

I'm not going to apologise anymore. Let her finish me off and take away any hopes of helping myself.

I'm ready for the worst possible outcome. Pure unfiltered stressiness.

I just want to get on with my life, such as it is, put this behind me and try my damndest to re-budget and afford all the necessities like food and bills.

Sometimes it just feels like life is slipping away from me. I'm trying my best to be tough and the pain is just moving around.

My bust has been hurting, last night my hand was in agony. I don't want to rely on anyone else to function, to use my hands, to walk around.

But the more I try to do anything for myself, the less I can manage it.

I'v got pains from doing nothing at all, the hand pain comes from doing what? Holding my phone? Moving the laptop?

It's not even exertion anymore, it's just routine things. Alright, enough, I've had my pity party, cleared my mind.

I'll just deal with the fallout. I'm going to eat and I have a chat date ar 2pm but before that..

I'll probably work on more posts. There will be a post on H, the new random, later on.