#BlogLife667 - Ex family - You don't scare us anymore!

It's Saturday night and I'm relaxing, my throat is a lil dry and scratchy and I'm just about to get a drink, when I see I have a missed call.

Mama is frantic, she is being coerced into giving money, that she doesn't possess to the vile, younger ex sibling.

Of course she refuses as she is fed up with his anger, threats and entitlement, but it's way too late to make a stand.

She should have been way harsher with his money grabbing ass, a long time ago.

At least she finally admitted, that he stole money from her friend and it wasn't "gifted."

That if he dares to step back in the UK, he will be arrested and get thrown back in jail.

But as his wifey is pregnant, hopefully she will leave him soon. He wants a girl as a boy would grow up to kick his ass. (His telling words).

He doesn't want to be independent and work hard to earn a living, he wants others, to fund his lifestyle.

He told Mama to ask her wealthy friends to get a handout and she point blank said NO!

She at last got to the point where enough was enough. All the verbal abuse, game playing, cruelty and nasty attitude just made her snap.

So his parting shot was, I am out to get you and the siblings and I won't stop until I've accomplished that.

And she apologised to me, for having to deal with his wrath but I said there was no need, he just always wants attention and if you don't react anymore, he as a bully is powerless and alone and he deserves to be miserable.

What goes around, comes around!

Because you are all happy and careful with money, (we all learned to budget and he resents that).

He actually said, Why should I struggle, when you/they don't. It's become a personal vendetta.

I'm not surprised, he, both siblings are hateful human beings. I know that at least for me and Mama, we are flawed but trying to be helpful and give hope to others, who are struggling.

So am I scared? No. I don't really care what happens to me. I grew up afraid to live and talk and enjoy life.

There is just stress every day, my mind is tortured and my body is trying to be like everyone else and do everything without limits but it can't function.

I thought each day, today is the one, I'll get punched and beaten to a pulp.

Or I smiled or at least felt relief when I tried to kill myself. Some peace at last.

I've been sick since I was late teens/early twenties. There is constant pain, nausea, insomnia, panic attacks and exhaustion.

There is no-one I can open up to completely. I rarely go out and I typically only socialise with Mama now, although there is the occasional random on the spot mini date.

I love writing but it's a good and bad thing. Sometimes I feel I share too much and other times, not enough.

I guess I wanted to say, that if I disappear, it will not be by choice.

It will mean, that he finally got me.

Until then, I will just carry on and keep trying to be a good, decent person.

Oh the saving grace is that Mama is finally cutting him off for good.

He will have no-one to BULLY!

It's actually pretty funny that he said, I wished I hadn't repaid the debt to her (moi), as he needs the money.

But newsflash, he always needs money. For cars, holidays, labels and I suspect drugs.

I don't think he ever stopped taking them, no-one sane threatens the whole family with bodily harm habitually.

The private in-joke between Mama and me is that because he stole the money from me before and I begrudging paid his debt as Mama begged me too.

She paid me back soon after so really he was paying her back.

I couldn't care less what happens to me at this point. I'm struggling each day and if the worst happens so be it.

He actually said, we all collectively need to send him money. Ha!!!

I think the silver lining is, he can't say anymore hurtful things to Mama, he can't stress her or make her upset.

As he has been doing, over email, in her presence, over the phone, all of it.

All he knows how to do is Attack, belittle, depress and threaten other people.

I thought I was safe in my own home.... But turns out his reach is still present.

I don't know if I'll be around on Monday but I hope I will still follow my routine and not get scared/depressed.

Goodbye for now and thanks for sharing my pain, joy and laughter.

Be strong, even when you're afraid. Have hope, even when it feels like there isn't any.

And be safe :)

I care about each and every one of you.

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