#BlogLife522 - The first step is getting up..

Afternoony all. How's your day going? Mine has been exhausting! I'm now just resting from a 11amish - 2pmish cleaning frenzy.

In my head I thought do a lil by lil each day, to make it easy on myself.

But having a heavy period means I was shattered before I even begun.

I just decided to do everything this morning. I made sure I had a proper rest because I knew I would need every ounce of energy not to quit halfway.

Then I got up, got my icy citrus drink, put my party music on and changed my duvet, mopped the kitchen, hallway, lounge floors, emptied the bins and rested a lot in-between hence the time frame.

I got to do another manicure, pedicure and massage chair soon. Maybe I'll ask if Mama wants to do it with me for a treat.

I procrastinated so much this morning but I knew I would get to it. I was determined to cross it off the list and I guess the treat was wearing the new fluffy slippers I bought.

The floors aren't spotless still but they are more presentable. I can't bend down anymore, else I'm going to get backache again.

I got rid of some more old clothes, wiping up the water which was fun because I need the hangers for the new tops that are arriving maybe at the end of the month.

It took me roughly an hour to change the duvet, which is ridiculous but I couldn't find the opening, I wasn't sure if it was a zip or buttons.

Then by the time I was flipping it to spread it out over my bed, I was so drained, it only did it halfway and I had to manually uncurl it.

I mean it's mostly smoothed out and I forgot it's reversible so I put the ugly stripey side on the front but the pillowcases are this bright blue and white colours.

I haven't been napping lately so I'm going to bed early and sleeping deeply but waking up frequently too.

One dream somebody was telling they were being chased by molten lava melted cheesy tomatoey pizza haha.

Then it was after me. I have been craving pizza but I haven't ordered it, maybe that's why it haunted me..

The other dream has slipped my mind. I don't often remember them. It's usually just bits and pieces.

The nice thing is I haven't had a nightmare in a while, those can be frequent-ish especially when I'm stressed.

Normally the maintenance appointments bring me anxiety because it's usually men and some of them are rude or creepy.

As annoying as this probably is to them, my coping mechanism I've realised to calm me down and make me feel safe, if it's a short meeting..

Is to hang out with them in a sense, a good few feet away from them and chitchat.

Some of them are alright with it and some are irritated by it but it's my home and I deserve to feel at peace in it.

I've found when I leave them to it and the doors are opening and closing (especially the front one) and I don't know where they are...

I don't have a full blown panic attack but I'm definitely on edge as though they are going to burst into my bedroom any second.

The fact that it's happened before is pretty unsettling but hopefully tomorrow is routine, just the kitchen, where the boiler is going to be checked and that should be it.

I haven't eaten yet because I didn't want to feel sluggish after and not get up and clean but now that everywhere is tidy, I don't want to mess it up...