#BlogLife88 - I wish I had a friend like moi...

The title makes me out to be a saint and I am not, you know this but the hard time I am going through is not letting up and it is turning me into a raving basket case.

I have stuff to do but there is no life in me to do anything. I would kill for dessert and a takeout but no joy because I have too many expenses and they continually climb..

I got in not too long ago and everything is just crashing all around me. Walking was tough, I literally kept dropping things every two seconds and I felt my body screaming wanting to swear.

Someone said you could go locally and get a thing for yourself and I thought, are you insane? Do you see how I am holding on to something for dear life?

I can't stand up straight, I can't sit down. I am shuffling forward slowly and you want me to run errands??? It literally killed me to top up my oyster card and get bread.

That was all I could manage. I thought I could get a lip balm and a sandwich but noooooooo. Too crippled in pain and too damn exhausted.

I was sooooo hoping to grab a chocolate cake and a chicken and avocado baguette. You see if it were me and I know one of my friends is struggling....

I wouldn't say....... Is there anything I can do for you? As long as I could afford it, I would get them lunch or a pick-me-up gift. I have done that loads of times!

Not because of obligation or reciprocation, just because I think, why should they be unhappy, if I can do a small gesture to show I care??

I don't want to move. I want to stay resting but because I'm starving I have to once again shuffle around and I have no energy to do anything.

I honestly would like to cry but there is nothing in me. I feel numb and dried up and I just hate everyone and everything.

I will manage and give myself care but ffs today. I just want to be looked after! I want to be pampered and fed and tucked in and not have to do a damn thing.

Or apologise for being in a lousy mood. I'm entitled because unless you are dealing with chronic pain and other ailments. You don't have a clue, what it is like.

Sure you can grin and bear it sometimes but when you are fragile and then further aggravate/strain or pull a muscle further..

How are you supposed to be positive?? It's already torture and now it is just piling on more and you want me to be smiley??

I don't think so! Ugh I have to get up and finish making a sandwich.....

:(