#BlogLife778 - I've changed my mind, Gold-digging has it's appeal

I've just finished the Yes To Tomatoes moisturiser, I would buy it again for the scent and the fact it lasted a few months.

I'm now using the Clean and Clear, it's thin and lightweight and unfortunately unscented.

My combination skin is a lil bumpy and dry at the moment, from pmt, sugar and hormones.

It's nearly lunchtime but I don't feel hungry, I had a rough sleep, probably eventually knocked out about 4amish, I was tired but couldn't seem to switch off.

I saw that in the 1 calorie oil spray range from Frylight, they had a butter flavour that was new, I think last time I bought the olive oil or most likely sunflower.

I liberally sprayed the butter oil and it's like it didn't coat the panini press as the egg stuck to it.

I'm not impressed with that one at all, I'll use the others from now on.

I haven't seen the red Radox bath soak that I love but I have seen one I don't think I've tried, which is sleep therapy.

I checked and I don't think it has lavender which is common with these types of items, hate that scent.

I was also Googlying last night or this morning, to find out when the first Universal Credit payment would arrive and it could take up to 5 weeks, yeesh.

That's mid November, damn the rent arrears are going to be high.

There is no sign of an appointment either, plus I'm confused about the conflicting stories, some say you get paid once a month, others say, twice.

Ugh, it's all this not knowing which is stressful. Mind you I also read that the whole thing takes 3 months to process and my application went through quite fast, so maybe it won't be as long?

I hope not. 

Oh my God! I just checked the bank. I received a payment and I don't know if that's for the housing benefit alone and/or living expenses....

It's dated the 21st October and is for £38.61. How on earth am I supposed to pay all the bills with that?

The last payments were on the 4th and 7th October. Wow. Now I really am depressed.

What if that amount is to last me 4 weeks? The rent alone is £615.52 per month.

The bills are £201.89 for the month. The groceries are also about £160.

I don't know whether to just transfer all the money to my Bank and pay the rent or whether another one is due.

I was really hoping it wasn't as bad as this. Plus to pile on, I don't know how much the crippling debt will be.

I can't wait any longer tomorrow I'll get up early and go to the Post Office.

I'm still debating on the freepost thing but I'll feel better if I just put several stamps on it.

I actually don't even know if our Post Office is still open, I haven't seen anyone go into it for a long time.

If I buy a book of stamps, 4x should do it. I hope. I'm having second and third and fourth thoughts about making a downpayment on the debt,

I don't know what the best course of action is, to be honest. I hate owing money but I also need to be practical and still be able to pay the bills every month.

Now I'm in this predicament, I can see why women marry for money and security and not love.

It's sacrificing love and freedom but not stressing about money and being looked after is starting to look really appealing.

It's just a shame that I can't stand intimacy. Otherwise that would be an alternative out of this mess.

Plus I'm not cute or skinny enough to be a trophy wifey/mistress..

Hmm, back to the drawing board. What happens when the money runs out?

Answer - There will not be enough for food, maybe they will just barely pay the bills.

You don't need food to live right? I'll have the overall debt and then probably using the overdraft to borrow money which I can't pay back, so more debt.

And then no escape from it at all. I guess, eventually I'll be taken to court, fined even more, evicted and homeless.

Well, at least I won't have to worry about bills, I'll be living on the streets, no more blog, because everything will be repossessed to pay the fines off..

Alright I know, my brain is spiralling to the worst case scenarios but it's not that far fetched.

The savings won't last forever. I don't see how things will improve.

What can I realistically cut down on? Air? The only thing is the mobile phone contract.

Do I really need a phone? I barely talk to anyone but I think it's a requirement for emergencies and the Job Centre.

Sorry, I would for once, love to write something cheerful and upbeat.

I'm trying to keep it together but I don't know how all this is going to end up?

How do I navigate through this, even if I prepare the strictest budget possible?

*Shrugs*