#BlogLife781 - Nobody will take care of you, but you!!

I had an uneasy sleep and then I checked my emails for any appointments, there wasn't any but there was a notification to say login, there's a message.

I thought, here it is, my bills aren't going to be covered and I'm going to be stuck borrowing money from now on..

There was no immediate ping or flashing envelope and then I went on the homepage and it said it's ready to view.

It turns out, thankfully, with a deduction because of my savings, they are still covering my monthly expenses.

I am so relieved, I can pay my rent in full, and all my bills and I can afford to get groceries and household stuff.

I was so worried that from now on I couldn't afford to live. It was a real concern that everything was going to pile up and there would be angry letters demanding payments.

And I thought the evil side of my family is cackling away like a witch, pleased with themselves for causing heartache and misery.

I have a feeling I was right, they were waiting for the statements to arrive before they updated me, as I wasn't due to hear until Sunday or next week.

Now that is out of the way, one last thing remains, I wait once more, to hear back about a fine or worse or a combination of the two.

It's like her impression of me is that I'm wasting money, holidaying abroad, buying expensive gadgets, eating out at pricey restaurants, getting designer gear and blowing through the allowance they pay me.

The reality is far less glamorous. The money goes on rent, bills, food, more bills, more expenses.

Oh and also budget clothes and takeout when I'm absolutely shattered or too ill to move.

I guess the indulgences are pedicures but as that is cash in hand, that won't show up on the statements.

I contributed to the rent, I paid off all the landlord's sporadic "arrears." Whenever they decided to say, Oh by the way, you owe us hundreds and hundreds, when I pay them regularly..

It doesn't make sense to me and they never say Oh by the way, you owe us a lil extra..

They whimsically say, every once in a while, You're in masses of debt to us.......

Quickly make a large payment, right now!

Anyway I don't want to repeat myself, I just wanted to say, there have been loads of times where I almost felt guilty for buying food or taking care of myself, when I have expenses to pay.

But once again, I try to be as responsible as I can. Pay what I owe, on time and then see if there is anything left over for me.

I've worked out why the wifi has been off and on, they are doing roadworks again, they love digging up the road.

I'm always going to be careful with money.

Oh a weird thing that is happening at the moment with the Playtime app, is that they keep removing all the downloadable games and replacing it with another money making application.

Why on earth would you promote a rival? Unless it's a partner company?

But even if it is, why are you removing the games, you want us to play? It doesn't make sense whatsoever.

I called the landlord and explained that I should be able to make a payment next week, I'll only be a week late and then they can calculate it for monthly, not fortnightly from now on.

Then I'll supposedly be up to date, until the next time, they say Oh you owe us.......Blah blah blah..

Lastly I told Mama, that I can manage my bills, as she was worried and I wanted to remove that burden I had placed on her, as soon as I had news.

Hmm yet another screwy notification. The Housing Benefit randomly selected my claim to be flagged for a review.

I basically had to re-claim, that's what it felt like. I had to upload, bank/paypal statements, something with my NI number, which I lost the card, eons ago but I found something.

Then it was evidence about the Universal Credit switchover, as per usual there was nothing in writing, so I just took a screenshot of the payment page, screw it.

Then it was a passport identification photo, I don't care that it's expired, it still has my name on it.

Plus rent statements which I just uploaded the receipt but called he landlord to request a proper statement just in case they want that too.

And I guess the payment I was going to receive this week, is now on hold.

That's depressing again, I was looking forward to paying my rent and bills, while the balance continues decreasing.

Oh and I finally got a Universal Credit appointment for the 5th November Guy Fawkes.

Once again, I'm lost, I don't know what's going to happen. It's not like the form is straightforward, it just is utterly confusing about what information they want, I just put everything, I over-explained but sod it, it's all there for them.

Just as I was starting to think, it's all going to somehow be bearable, it's all a mess once more.

I think I'll just keep this to myself and not tell anyone, until I know more, the crisis is mine alone to deal with.

More waiting. More worrying. It never stops really....

Ooh it's been just under 5 months and the body butter is only now finishing, that was a good run.