#BlogLife384 - Is it you?

I was going through the old phone making sure everything is copied over. Crumbs, I haven't even checked the images/photo album. 

I'll get to it.. and I glanced at the blocked text folder because I can't recall if it stays blocked on the new phone or you have to re-block and I don't tend to do that.

They seem to have gotten the message after my absent replies. I didn't expect to see anything but junk as usual when I saw these..

Monday - Are we still friends? Been thinking about you, tried to call you one time.

I'm only free to speak today or tomorrow, if you respond.

Tuesday - Hi baby x

Lol. I wouldn't normally post snippets of text out but it's making me laugh. I'm totally over him and his ridiculous attitude now.

I had to look up the number as I wasn't even sure who it was but then I thought ahhh so it is..

He was expecting me to jump and reply straight away. He must have fell off his chair when I didn't.

I like the bit about trying once hahaha :D I mean nobody wants to be forgettable.

I haven't been missing him or pining or wishing for a reunion, I've been stressing and busy and getting on with life.

Maybe I should have changed my number but updating it all over the place and then forgetting a few and missing something vital would have aggravated me.

I'm not tempted to unblock or respond. He didn't say, sorry about how things ended or I know I've treated you badly.

Just the opposite, let's sweep everything under the carpet. Get in contact under my parameters as I'm in control and wait around until I disappear on you again... Pfft.

Men seem to think I'm this idiotic pushover. Look I can be nice, friendly, sweet and loyal but if you kill the faith/trust then don't let the door hit your tushy on the way out!

I'm sure you'll have no issues replacing my number with the 101 women you told me you have..

Next......!!!

#BlogLife311 - Row row row your boat..

Have you ever been in a boat? 

I'm not really sure what the circumstances were, but it must have been summertime and during the weekend, so as a family we decided to go on an outing.

None of us had ever rowed a boat before and we were nervously excited. It was practically empty in the water.

They each took turns and seemed to fail at it and then I decided I would try it out with a tiny bit of optimism and bravery.

Although the oars were extremely heavy and bulky to navigate I seemed to not only steer but manage to row naturally.

One of the few times my mama outwardly praised me and said I was doing an exceptional job out of all of us that had tried it.

I was quite chuffed and the heat wasn't unbearable. It was just a sunny clear day, with gentle breezes.

It was quite a workout but we were all in good spirits and I think later on we had a picnic on the grass.

That memory popped into my head for some reason, maybe because it was one of the few times she wasn't attacking me for some simple mistake.

Or maybe it's because I'm due to spend time with family soon, unless I can make an excuse up, not to visit, it's just too emotionally draining and depressing.

On that note.. MD texted me this morning and broke up with me.

The usual vagueness, it could be temporary, if I was open to being contacted again?

I'm not but I felt like being equally mysterious so I replied... I don't know.

He let slip there were other women in his life and then refused to comment further so as suspected it was just games and misdirection.

I should be devastated but I'm not, just feel like there have been too many ups and downs in this farce and now it has finally come to a head.

I'm not going to be anyone's second choice. Have a nice life MD and Nextttttt!!!

#BlogLife310 - The long awaited call

Don't you just hate those moments, where something is in your eye, like an eyelash or grit and it's irritating your contact lenses so that it feels like you're dealing with broken glass?

I had that issue today, which probably means the humidity has been steaming up my lenses too much and they need the protein tablets for a top up thorough cleanse.

I finally remembered to soak them last night but they still feel uncomfortable and will not stop watering during the day but at the same time, feel incredibly barren.

I did have the call from MD, I don't know why I sometimes call him DM, Dangermouse? lol! (A kids cartoon show).

But I can read people better in person or on the phone and it dawned on me my suspicions were correct, he avoiding calling as he didn't think I would pick up or that I would slam the phone down.

Ego thing maybe? By doing these pre-emptive breakups he was avoiding being dumped possibly by his logic..?

But how many times could I have explained I wanted to talk things through?

I did confess to my crimes and I didn't feel as though I was crawling, I am just a grownup and if I'm wrong, I'll say it.

I know that he appreciated it and it was slightly awkward but somewhat the same.

I had forgotten what he sounded like. A bit posh. He thinks it's just about the voice but I like him for more than that quality as I confessed that mid yawn.

I wanted to nap through this heat but I can't. Grrr. I think another problem was that, it still always felt unfinished.

I had this nagging doubt inside my head that, there was more to come but even I have to be realistic and let go.

Except I really didn't want too and still don't, he's still in the back of my mind, since the beginning and hasn't really left.

He did apologise genuinely and will make a stronger effort to communicate better.

I shall wait and see. I will say that things appear differently than before.

It seemed more flowy and now there is a slower pace and less interactions.

Thinking about it though, maybe that isn't a bad thing. To pace it and get to know someone properly, instead of rushing in?

At least now I am slowly coming around to the idea, that it's more of a mutual endeavour, instead of just solo.

I would take five minutes with him, than an hour with a random.

Now I have gotten decent blocks of sleep, I feel more myself. I did have a breakthrough on of the stories but I still don't feel like working on them at the moment.

#BlogLife308 - Letting go and being pulled back...

I've been keeping the fan on at night and hoping that it will help me nod off quicker but it hasn't helped.

I don't feel as suffocated but my mind just keeps being active and thinking about things and people.

If you're following my posts, you'll know that I blocked MD but with a Samsung phone, there is an option to check if messages/calls are left by the person in a folder.

I was checking daily and then decided. It's ridiculous, he put all the blame on me and didn't take any responsibility.

I stopped scanning and focused on other things. I mean we hadn't spoken since the 3rd July so there was no reason to look back.

He made it clear he wanted to part company so fine, I don't want someone around that doesn't wish to be.

Today I'm not sure why I slipped and decided to look at that folder, expecting as usual to see nothing.

But there it was, a cluster of messages from Monday and then yesterday.

Rather than him calling the shots. I figured out what I need. I think a phone call would clear the air.

And I'm actually glad that I didn't see his words until today. Let him stew for a bit for a change!

He said that he wants to be friends and misses my laugh. I don't know what to make of it.

He just seems to be playing games, one minute obliterating our communication and the next, popping by, to reiterate it's over.

Then further still, letting a lot of time pass and communicating randomly.

I kinda wonder if, he decided it wasn't quite for him and instead of sharing that fact, he put it on me and disappeared.

Thought I was an unforgettable fem but the realised too late. I'm unique...

Before I could stop myself I replied to his text and said.... You confuse me.

Will update you when I know more...

#BligLife303 - Twisted tale of a former Yum Yum

Hmm.. Guess whose name I saw pop up on my screen?,

It was MD!! After a long week of nothingness! Now he decides to just say.. Hi!

At 1am in the bloody morning. I was getting tired but I was awake.

Wednesday after I wrote the last post, I blocked his number, as there didn't seem any point in delaying the inevitable. He didn't want to talk.

The whole thing seemed like a farce. He greeted me casually and I was so taken aback by it.

Why now? After so much time has passed? I thought?

I stopped what I was doing to yell at him. I basically said No no no, we're not talking,you had you're chance..

He was like ok take care. Then I kept yelling, as I didn't think I was going to get this chance or another and I wanted closure.

His excuses were lame...

1. There was a problem with my phone! 

I replied how convenient did it explode? He explained he was out of credit..

(Hmm.. There are things called shops, where one can purchase refills).

2. I was disappointed you didn't check up on me. 

(During a fricking row)? Why would I? We were on the outs and you weren't even communicating with any depth.

3. Then he said he was unwell. 

(I think he was going for the sympathy vote but I wasn't in the mood).

I told him, I hope he suffers until there is ever a time the clouds lift on our interactions.

We seemed to talk for just under an hour.

His version is.. I pushed him away and to a degree I did but after the argument, when I wanted to twist the knife.

What I will say in his defence is that, he does do all the initial calling/texting to me and these are lengthy each time and my phone plan is unlimited.

How did we leave things?

Well I have no idea. It was left up in the air. He said he was tired, I was too..

I don't think there will be a Part 2...

Something I do want to do is reread the texts to see if he ever said something mushy without being prompted.. 

I just perused the text transcript.. I avoided that till now and I have to he honest..

To give him his dues, he did make a lot of effort. He would send morning texts first.

He would call at lunchtime. I didn't ever do it first. As I felt like I would be disturbing him and he would answer out of obligation.

Plus he did say caring things about me that were unsolicited. I think it was the fact that he said it more in the beginning and less later on, that weighed on my mind.

I can hold my hand up and confess I was wrong in certain aspects. Oops..

However I wasn't mistaken about it all. I don't feel reassured of his sentiments and things are still so fraught between us.

It just doesn't seem like a natural thing to get in touch, even casually.

Part of me thinks that maybe this was just his conscience bothering him to clear things up.

He did say he wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings left between us.

He never said Well...... I missed you or you were on my mind. I was concerned or I wanted to know where we stood.

There was nothing like that at all. He could be being cautious or it could have been a Goodbye but in a more pleasant way, so that his brain could say, well I did my part and now it's done.

I can't say I really understand it. Why get in touch at all? Why not just leave it as it were.........Dead?

I'm going to conclude that it was him wrapping things up in a neat lil bow.

I'm not sure how I feel. Except bewildered. I guess I got to say the things I wanted too..

I just didn't get the answers or statements that I hoped for. I don't know if this was him making the effort and now he's expecting me to get in touch....

I kinda feel like if it was an olive branch and he actually did apologise, somewhat, I would have felt more hopeful.

The apology just seemed empty or forced. It's difficult to read someones tone over text or chat though.

I can only do it by phone calls, in these types of circumstances.

I just felt like once again I told him what I needed and he bypassed my requirements.

Then again maybe he sees it as, he's reached out a lot and I haven't and it's just not worth the time.

I need to stop rambling and wrap this up. In conclusion. I need lunch, as I skipped breakfast and I don't think I'll be contacted from him again.

This is the final Goodbye parting. I expect.

Toodles MD.

I have to start getting over you, from the beginning, once more....

Oh forgot to add, I did relish gloating on the fact I had written two posts about him and would be making a third and he would never get to read them!!

He doesn't have the blog link, never asked for it and now won't ever get it.

#BlogLife300 - I'm in the mood to fight!! (Goodbye part 2) mini update

Something snapped. I think I had been holding back some resentments and they came out today from what seemed like a petty instance.

I think I'm just aware of people constantly taking me for granted, using me and then just laughing or being smug about it, so when I see it, in someone supposedly nice, it burns me.

At first I really do try to understand it and ignore it, maybe as them being a lil thoughtless but then after a while, it feels like it's calculated.

Asking me questions like...... "Do you miss me?" Instead of saying.. "Oh this happened and I thought of you" or "Just checking in to see how you are?"

"I couldn't keep away, I couldn't not text, was bursting to talk to you, even though I am swamped."

You know something simple like that instead of always making me talk about what I feel and you just carelessly mumbling the same afterwards or agreeing. Pah!!!

Irritating!! You say we don't fight, well possibly that is because I hate confrontation and I feel guilty for bringing this up and upsetting you, even though I'm bloody entitled to do it!!!

That should have been my red flag. The way you harped on about us not having problems and getting on famously. I'm sure I reminded you that I was difficult at times, but you dismissed it.

The other thing that bothered me was you claimed to routinely fight with exes and had no issue with it. Why couldn't you have done the same with me?

I just think it was your pride. You must have falsely assumed my feelings for you would cloud my judgement and I would what??

Let you get away with murder?? Let myself be dissatisfied forever without facing you and offloading??

I'm not the bravest person but if it is a choice between staying quiet or screaming at you with rage? I'll take the battle option and see what unfolds.

Nobody wants to prompt someone, otherwise it feels disingenuous and fighting with someone that's using smileys and short texts is even more aggravating.

The funny thing is, you could have so easily diffused my anger. If you had just accepted my perspective and had the balls to face my wrath. You didn't though, did you??

Which makes you a coward!

Ugh!!!! Fine, see how you like short texts from now on too. To think, I was looking forward to talking to you but now I don't want too at all.

Why does it always come back to you and how you're impacted? You could have said....... Oh I didn't realise, I didn't mean to treat you that way.

Now you think I'll come running and chase you again? Well no!! I won't. I do miss you but you need to express yourself better and chase me for once!

Show me that you care, that you would make the effort to work things out until there was no point, relentlessly but then I'm starting to think, you don't. 

You've just been playing games. You left very quickly without looking back.

Hmm. I don't know, perhaps I was wrong about you, seeing/hearing what I wanted, instead of the apathetic truth.

Same ol same ol garbage!!

Next!!!!!! 

Have a nice life!!

You failed the argument test. 

I need to be able to communicate my emotions, have you understand my perspective and then reply back with comprehension and a suitable response.

I will not go back to being ignored as though what I am going through doesn't register at all.

Plus I need to hear your take on it, you can disagree, you can see it differently but you have to speak up and let me know, otherwise we don't belong together.

It's still immensely challenging to express myself, so you have to realise if I am doing it or shouting, it's because I'm frustrated and I'm sick of being tolerable when I don't feel it's returned to me.

All couples row, it's human nature. We should have been able to navigate through this, instead we broke apart.

You haven't been in contact since yesterday afternoon and I don't think you will.

You want someone that is meek and won't go against you at all. I can be chilled at times but I'm not a doormat, if something is eating away at me, I should be able to vent, without you running away.

Ps someone tell me how to stop picking up my phone and checking for missed calls/messages every few minutes..LOL.

This did help. I just needed to get it out of my system so that I wasn't replaying the last conversation again.

I will give you until this evening and then I'll block you permanently.

No relationship/friendship is perfect but for me I need certain things to be able to breathe.

I grew up with fear and dysfunction in my interactions. That's not how I want to live anymore.

I want something healthy and normal. I want to get through conflicts and not be depressed or scared.

It should be routine and cathartic to vent. One day maybe I'll find someone that lets me be all parts of moi.

The soft, the vulnerable, the sarcastic, the witty, the sweet, the angry, the aloof, the suspicious, the affectionate, the lovable and lastly, respectably nutty.

**Oh and one final thing, you selfish bastard. (Yes I have been cursing you out).

You asked to hear one itty bitty chapter of my work and that was it. You weren't keen on any of the posts that didn't mention you!

Yet you kept asking again and again for me to hear more of your story. 

Considering how nerve wracking that experience of reading to you was but how fiercely I defended my work, when you didn't like a certain detail..

Plus how supportive I was with yours, when it wasn't to my genre taste at all.

I would have thought you could have been way more supportive and enthusiastic.

More examples of your over inflated ego! What was the bit he didn't like?

In Uncivilised Civilian when I was describing the shower amenities, he thought I harped on about it excessively.

I pointed out that this was aimed at women, who always had a million and one products cluttering up the bathroom, so this should appeal.

Ok, now I wash my hands of you and I'm officially done!

#BlogLife299 - Dear Yum Yum (Goodbye part 1)

Sheepishly looks at you. I have a confession to make, I got the dates muddled. We aren't at our 1 month anniversary, it's coming up to our 3rd week, next Wednesday.

Maybe I'm still trying to fast track us? Skip ahead to a more established time? In order that I feel more secure and comfortable and that this isn't another disaster in the making..?

I can't really pick faults with you, the way that I do with others, In regards to my past history.

By this time, I have always discovered a fountain of flaws and unpleasant habits that I want to distance myself away from.

We already have sickeningly sweet pet names for each other, as well as the rude and bizarrely humourous types. It seems to flow out of mouths more naturally, instinctively.

Perhaps it is too soon? I have no idea. This is unfamiliar terrain. I guess I will always feel cautious.

Don't move too fast, keep it at a slow steady pace, don't get overrun by hormones or infatuation, take your time, get to know him truly first and see if there are any haunting surprises.

Surprisingly when I had a rough few days, I actually did not turn away from you. I opened up and explained what happened which is fairly new to me.

I prefer stepping back and unravelling it myself and then returning to a more lighthearted mood.

You were quite caring and understanding, felt moved by my plight even though I quickly dismissed it as overreacting and moved on to more pleasant discussions.

On one hand. having hashed far more than we probably should at this stage, I wonder how it will be when there isn't a time limit?

If we will just sit and talk endlessly and not be bored or making excuses to escape.

You just seem so certain about us, that it will all magically work out and I don't comprehend that at all, with so many obstacles in the way.

Maybe you're just saying what you think I want to hear or what you assume all women want? I can't say. Or are you just an optimist?

I just know that for me. I can't envision the future. I'm so used to being by myself, it's ingrained that I'll always be alone, fending for myself.

I've never had moments where I could let myself unfold. Trust someone and say, this is me. I'm not perfect, I'm not traditional but I'm loyal, honest and I can learn to be affectionate and share my time.

The simplicity of my life, doesn't seem enough. Writing, writing and more writing.

Then there is my constant state of exhaustion. The aches and pains lingering gently or aggressively.

The stress of keeping myself going, knowing that if I stop, I just might not carry on anymore.

I don't hate my life, tough though it may be. It's just a lot to deal with but when there are moments of serenity, it's bearable.

What if I can't be me, anymore, as a couple? What if I have to pretend to be in good spirits so that you don't fret about me?

I don't want to lose my essence. I don't want to put on a mask and not be genuine. 

I just want to be the same person but with allowances set aside to include you.

I don't need things my way all the time, I can compromise and we can work something out.

It should always be equal and respectful. Everything seems good on the surface but I don't feel I am 100% in yet.

We did seem to share a lot of the same views and that helps immensely because I've never quite met anyone that is more like me, in some respects.

You agree to take things at a slow pace and never dismiss my feelings, instead constantly validates them but I'm still wary and can't let go yet and go with my emotions.

It would lift the weight off my shoulders to confide in you and let you support me/let us be there for each other. To be able to be transparent all the time, instead of having my guard up.

However what if I do all of that in due course and you betray me??

It's a risk and I have been taking you at face value. You don't shy away from awkward exchanges and you randomly volunteer tidbits so I have no reason to doubt your word.

I just need time and for you to be patient. If this is going to work out like you assume, then I don't want to be backed into a corner and rushed.

It should just be taking the next steps as they come and hoping that there is a pleasant journey ahead.

One of the issues is that I have never liked my body, slim or voluptuous it always received negative criticisms so I always felt it wasn't appealing.

I think disrobing will be a challenge for me but fancy pants lingerie will help. I've already seen beautiful summery bras but i miss buying the sets.

We gabbed about many things and I wonder if we will get to that domesticated state?

Having the neighbours over for dinner, sneaking off into the kitchen in the guise of a ruse for some covert smooching..

Going for walks, holding hands or arm in arm to walk off a meal, get some air or just because the mood takes us.

Visiting the local pub for lunch and drinks but ignoring everyone, lost in our own bubble world.

Me making lunch for you, adding lil notes and piling in extra treats for you to savour.

Us curling up sometimes when I nap or offloading to you or you to me, after an aggravating day.

Swapping immature but giggly challenges and seeing who can best the other.

(You're going down, I fight to win, fight dirty too *bats eyelashes*)!

I'm not asking for promises. I'm uncertain whether it will be a success or not, myself.

I guess what I want is for you to be a good guy. To be someone that I can learn to rely on a bit, that I can unwind with and be happy with..

As I don't quite know how to divulge the horrific details of my home life and my dating past.

It's just all really........ disturbing.

                           ><><><><><><><><><><><><><><

Hmm I'm not sure I have the right to feel miffed at you but I do. You could have texted, even if you didn't call yesterday.

Not that you're obligated but sometimes it seems like I'm the one thinking of you or missing you and you only say the same thing, after me.

That's not very nice or balanced. At times, you should be the one to say sentimental things before me, assuming you do feel that way.

I do not want to be in a one sided thing. I know at other times, you say stuff randomly but you're a lil bit too laid back.

You should never be that complacent, that you have me. I've told you that before.

I'm not the self titled Ice Queen for no reason. I will not settle for crumbs of affection!

#BlogLife292 - Pmt/Pms depression

I feel like because my cycle is so off my hormones are at their craziest. One minute angry, then sad, hungry, depressed and deep in thought, sentimental, romancing..

I think I'm up to my fourth 1 day period. This last one didn't even last a day. It was just the afternoon. 

Very light and then it was over, there was nausea, cramping, bloating and mood swings.

I'm still craving sugary things. not chocolate really, just something sweet in the afternoons.

Sometimes my brain races ahead. I lay my cards on the table for future scenarios and say oh by the way, it might never happen but this is my opinion, just in case haha!

What a fruitloop?! I wonder if anyone else does that?? Please say yes so I'm not the only looney.

I also just seemed to be really upset and sad. I processed the bad volunteer chat. I'm not dwelling on that anymore but something feels residual. 

I find myself withdrawing again and instead of reaching out, I say to people, focus on your own needs, not mine....I'll be fine, toodles..

I think just between you and moi... I am waiting, well not desperately but a small fraction is curious if someone will actually say....

Actually SS, I can see you're not fine so let's focus on you and give you a lil bit of tlc.

It's like I've had all 4 full term periods because I've gone through all the emotions each time.

There is someone I'm actively pushing away or testing or whatever you want to call it.

I'm just not entirely sure if I am doing it for my sake or his. It doesn't seem ideal on paper, however we get on swimmingly well and seem to fill each other's voids.

My brain just can't get around the big reality practicalities because they are huge.

Me being poorly, needing to rest a lot, not being active, the selfishness of being my own person and catering my own musical/movie/foodie delights.

Or even something as huge as relocating out of the area I have lived all my life and am comfortable in.

I think some men just get lost in the feelgoodness of it all and ignore the obvious obstacles, whereas I just like to look at them and think.....

How on earth can this survive because from all angles, there just doesn't to be a way to maintain it.

They think short term, everything seems peachy right now, why rock the boat?

I just come along and screw with that because you can only live in denial for so long before you wise up.

I'm not sure what outcome I'm expecting or hoping for. You're right? Goodbye? Or we'll find a way...?

I feel guilty about bombarding him but it's how my brain works. I spiral and have this need to divulge my thoughts and see what the reaction is...

I didn't sleep well last night, even worse than usual so I had my phone off all morning until lunchtime and then it was off again.

There were missed calls and texts that I wasn't in the mood to return. I could have dialled him back but I felt cranky.

I did text back and say we don't need to communicate, I'm tired, you're busy and he agreed readily which stung lol.

Then by mid afternoon I finally was able to nap after putting on the heated blankie and curling up.

I just can't seem to snooze without it covering me, even in summer, peculiar.

When I switched on my phone I replied to messages and we started talking like natural, all day, maybe lunchtime calls and occasionally evening ones.

I like him but dating is not realistic, someone that has to come down to see me, as I can't travel.

Someone that has to be patient because being in constant pain makes me frustrated, angry, weepy and despondent.

Someone that realises I'm never going to be fit and healthy because any lil bit of movements seem to cause catastrophic strains.

Someone that knows, I'm not an open book at all, It takes time for me to reveal details and to trust them, it's not an immediate stance I can ever take.

Someone that knows, when to leave me be, let me rest or let me heal myself because I'm overtired and overwhelmed and not coping.

Someone that can support me but not push me into anything, that recognises, I know what is best for me.

Lastly I think, someone that makes me feel utterly safe and relaxed. I have never had that before. I've always had to watch out and be on the look out for abuse or lies.

By the way, the outcome of the chat was that he was understanding about my concerns and fears. He got where I was coming from and just acknowledged how I felt was normal.

He appears to be very different that I'm used too. He is open and talkative but actually has opinions and a backbone.

He's not afraid to say No to me or disagree and he doesn't back down which I respect.

Before I seemed to be getting my own way and turning people around but not in this case.

It's very appealing.

#BlogLife286 - Next came MD..

I told myself I had gotten over my chat fix but I think it was a combination of things that persuaded me otherwise..

I'm still having one day periods. This is my third one to date. It's never been three in a row before, that's weird even for me. I just hope it eventually skips or plays out and then, returns to semi normal soon.

In addition to this, I feel a bit burned out on fiction. The stories just completely occupy my mind and there is very lil peace during this creative process, so writing a few back to back was different.

It's not my normal schedule, I space them out a lot but I was inspired so I carried on and I am pleased with how they ended up. I hope they were fun to read at least and made sense.

I think I'll take a break and then concentrate on the arranged marriage tale. I roughly know where to go with it and I'm looking forward to the wedding but I've just started it so a long way to go until I get to that bit.

I think I'll stop trying to control the length, if it's mean't to stay short it will and if it's longer than that, I'll stop worrying about it and enjoy the journey.

I think I wanted to break loose and have some fun away from being productive. Let my brain rest and recuperate.

After I finished munching breakfast/lunch. I went on and scouted for a decent conversation to pique my interest.

I had a few that were pleasant enough and some made me giggle but there was one name that stood out from the rest. MD.

It wasn't even the opening line, it was the name, that to me represented a woman's brain, instead of her body.

We had one misunderstanding, where he asked me my name and didn't offer his, which irked me and I thought, he's one of those non-sharers..Nexttt!!

I did my pouty silent routine and wondered if he would get the hint and in the next few minutes, he rectified it, without me saying anything and told me.

Which frankly surprised me, we did seem to be on the same wavelength for most of the chat but at the end, there was another revelation.

I don't think I'll ever trust a man again. What they say is normally rehearsed or their version of the truth.

However we did seem to spend the entire day talking and when it migrated to the phone. He had that tranquil type of voice that you want to hear, after a bad day.

That you could talk to for hours, and not get bored. That you could not run out of things to say and then look at the time and realised hours flew by and it felt like seconds.

He's a creative guy as well. I have spoken to a few of those, one was super arrogant and made it all about himself, plugging his work and it was one sided and dull.

The others, really didn't go into details and preferred other topics of interest but he was broader in a sense. Talking about different aspects of what he liked and didn't and what he had achieved.

I don't think I can remember having that type of discussion before. I was pretty much hooked on it. I did have a bad habit of occasionally interrupting him though, I gotta work on that.

This one I can see talking to again because he is very amusing and down to earth. He doesn't seem like he's guarded, ready to make a speech or launch an attack but we'll see..

These randoms sometimes appear nice and then the claws come out. I'll let you know what happens much much later.

Oh he did offer to read something I wrote but that scared me too much so I declined haha.

Oh and another random migrated to email and asked me word for word, the questions he had previously enquired about over the chat, WTF??!!

Was I talking to your clone? Why would you ask the same things??