#AgonyLife8 - Dear SS why do I and certain others think me-time is selfish time?

Good question. I think it's because when we are younger it is drilled into us to be there for other people and suppress our own valid needs.

I can't speak for anyone else but I know that I grew up thinking whatever I needed or wanted was selfish and unnatural to feel that way.

Don't think about yourself........What does X,Y, Z need?

Instead of sitting there happily with your book, why don't you see if X needs a hand?

I know you are not in the mood but go and talk to X, Y and Z, it's the right thing to do, to make them feel better.

I think somewhere down the line we forget to take care of ourselves. What we want, what we require and that isn't selfish that's normal.

Do you find close ones put a massive guilt trip on you if you step away?

That isn't fair of them, unless it's a child but even then hopefully they will give you a hug or some kind words of appreciation.

For a grownup this is completely separate. We all have the right to take some space for ourselves. Figure out what we need to feel better.

A nap,

An adult colouring book,

A jigsaw puzzle,

An experimental new recipe,

A walk,

A swim,

A steam,

A game,

A chat,

A book,

A beauty treatment,

A bubble bath,

Karaoke,

Your favourite film/tv show,

A massage,

A hair appointment/scalp massage,

Shopping (retail therapy I call it).

Whatever it is, don't feel bad about it. Say to yourself, I work hard, I support others and I deserve this.

My desires are just as crucial as everyone else's. Other people do it and don't feel bad, why shouldn't you??

Also by taking this time for yourself, you're actually turning into a better person, because the stress is alleviated and you have more energy, more drive to accomplish limitless possibilities.