#AgonyLife10 - Dear SS Why am I such a bitch/bastard to my volunteer? *Contains strong language* (fictiony)

Firstly I appreciate you owning up to that. It could not have been easy to admit who and what you are to not only moi but the rest of the world.

Secondly isn't that more of a question for you to self reflect over?

I don't know your story and I'm sure your volunteer is trying their best.

You are obviously in need of some support so why would you readily antagonise the one person, trying to be there for you, for free?

This volunteer is not being paid a salary, they are not just there to take your crap to make you feel better.

Their purpose is to give up some of their free time and see if they can make a difference in your life.

They are human beings talking without a script, delving into the unknown.

I'm not saying be smiley and gushy. Be in that valid emotion, angry, sad, happy, whatever but don't dare take your shitty attitude out on someone innocent.

Furthermore. I hate to break it to you, no actually I am loving it. Your life is less than perfect. It is a catastrophe.

Your volunteer's life isn't sunshine and roses either but unlike you, she has real problems and deals with it gracefully.

She helps herself and addresses the issues that arises. She isn't an immature baby that is falling apart.

Think about that, while you are continually shouting abuse and saying No No No...

You don't know what you are talking about, you haven't focused on my calamities.

Newsflash whiny person, the volunteer has.. You are just to self absorbed to realise it.

While you crumple in your stagnant demeanour I am off relaxing and humming to music.

Lastly I actually would have spent however much time you needed hearing you out and offering up some really useful suggestions but you lost out.

Maybe the next person will be better, possibly not. They might just go through the motions.

A lot of them clock watch, 15-20 minutes and say goodbyeeee, me I try to give more. Oh well...... 

Sucks to be you!!! 

Now you'll realise the difference between someone that cares and someone going through the motions. 

Pity it's too late!! 

The funny thing is, it was an easy doable fix, you're just to lazy to do it and prefer to be a dick and throw an adult tantrum!!!

Ps. 

I guess the above is my thoughts swirling inside my head. 

Just because your life, of your own making is a disappointment, don't expect me to play therapist!!

If you are that desperate, seek a genuine psychiatrist, you obviously think you are being short changed.

They won't tolerate your pathetic excuses though.

I was on your side willing to listen and help but what do you do to show your thanks?

You don't show me any respect, don't listen and can't even try to understand how I was trying to assist you.

FUCK OFF!

You are lucky I can't say this to you and I never actually would but not being able to call someone out on their bs is difficult, being someone that has been abused a lot.

The horrendous part of all of this is that after taking your bullshit, the volunteer has to then politely end the conversation.

It's like showing respect to someone monstrous. I hate that part!!!