#BlogLife644 - You don't hate me, your brain does..

Song of the day - Ravi B - Shirley Gyal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CATRtgcIxw0&list=WL&index=46

Afternoony to each and every one of you. It's actually a pretty lovely sunny day weather wise.

But I'm hormonally frozen, whenever I am on, my internal body temperature drops significantly and I'm already cold blooded, so the heating is on high as is the blankie to try and warm me up.

I must have slept alright because I rarely have energy when I'm out, I got some soothers lemon sweets because my throat is a lil dry and I feel sniffly.

Then I went to get the pakoras and some ladoo desserts, I had to ask the guy where they were. I didn't even know they did plain and the pistachio version, the nutty one is so much nicer.

I was going to get some sandwiches also but the energy was starting to dip and I had been pain free so I didn't bother.

I knew though as soon as I got indoors, I would be excessively drained for at least half the day if not all of it.

I tried to nap but it's just not happening, I think I'm too cold still. Although one or rather two things that are hurting are my hands.

Luckily they haven't completely seized up but it's getting easier to strain them, sooner and sooner in the day, unlike before.

It would be better if I could rest but maybe later. I feel like I just made my own version of a smoothie.

I left some orange juice in the bottle froze it overnight, poured fresh juice into and it's got the bits and icy lumps of orange that are melting inside, delicious.

I've nibbled but I don't feel too hungry, just tired. Last night I saw MC, we seem to be going more on the deep and meaningful side at the moment, we never used too.

Because I have known him for probably a few months now, as it was way before Christmas that we first spoke.

I told him everything about being ill and why it makes dating a hindrance, he too seemed to get it and be understanding.

But let's see how he reacts next time I see him or if he recalls what I even divulged..

I spoke to someone else who seemed alright but was obsessed with trying to figure me all out in one day.

Now the problem with these types of people, I have encountered many times over, is that they latch on, have a stranglehold on you are eventually convinced you are this way or that.

Without realising, it takes time to get to know someone, I never serve myself up anyway, I share bits and pieces that aren't personal.

Anyway at first he was praising me, Oh you're so funny, you're so real, blah blah blah.

The problem with this over zealous enthusiasm, is that eventually you will say something they don't like and they can't handle it and will turn on you for it.

It all seemed fine and then he really royally flipped out and out of nowhere said I know you don't mean that, you shouldn't hurt peoples feelings.

I genuinely wasn't, I was just going along with the chat and then he said, I'm leaving.

I laughed and didn't even bother to respond because he wanted me to engage, he wanted me to beg him to stay or have this invisible row made out of thin air, and I refused.

Things can be misinterpreted, tone can be hard to read. But I don't feel I said anything rude or disrespectful at all.

I blocked him and he kept bombarding me with messages all night, luckily they all failed as I wasn't in the mood.

If you right someone off or exit, then stay gone, what's the point of seeking attention all night?

I don't understand that. I get rejected and ghosted all the time, you don't see me pinging them to get noticed.

I might just do it once, because messages don't always get delivered but that's it.

Unless they message me and initiate contact, I won't chase them.

I recently had a funny chat with someone and halfway through he disappeared, I chased him up once and he didn't reply so I left it.

I wasn't devastated, more curious but I let it go. Sometimes you make a connection and other times you don't and it's fine.

Life goes on, there is another random who keeps messaging me but so far it's always been at the wrong moment.

I don't like his voice but his personality is great, I'm just not sure whether to reconnect or not.

I feel bad for ignoring him. I will see how I feel but just discourage phone calls, ha.

Oh I used the Vatika garlic conditioner this morning, so far so good, my hair is soft, my scalp seems mostly hydrated and my hair looks full and smooth.

It's behaved even though it was windy, it remained styled and cute.

I will have to use it more before I can recommend it.