The fishtail bottom is like a swirly design, it's totally plain and not my preference but at least it has a feature to it.
I was so nervous about the fit, but they are the perfect length for a shortie like me and it isn't too loose or too tight, just perfect with wiggle room.
Oh and the best bit is the thickness, for ages all I've seen is thin loosey goosey designs but I wanted more of a fitted look, even though I'm plus sized and have a few stone to lose, mainly three.
The truth is part of me is ready to be more presentable, to get date outfits.
I feel kinda ready to get to know a guy and then if he seems normal and respectable, to eventually take the next step and meet him in person.
Talking of randoms I blocked MM/S last night because I think looking back I probably told him all my insecurities about my looks, weight, image, intelligence...
And he thought it was amusing to assassinate my character in one swoop.
When he was nice he was pleasant but there was an underside to him that was condescending, if he talked he spouted subjective facts and in his mind, his word was law.
No deviating opinions counted but I still argued with him because I had something to say on the matter, that differed from his God-like views.
What cemented it for me because although I enjoyed his company for the most part.
Was that he resented being held accountable for his disrespectful behaviour.
It physically angered him to apologise for being cruel. To be honest that surprised me, that he was like that. But I heard it in his tone and after that he stopped speaking to me.
That turned out to be a blessing in disguise because I managed to go over everything and realised he wasn't a good guy after all.
Plus he was impatient to meet up and I knew I wasn't ready. I suspected that I needed more time to mentally prepare myself.
He kept being kinda cold and unfeeling and saying thoughtless remarks and then admitting he was frustrated and that I was playing with his mind.
When the truth is I'm naturally scared and nervous due to my violent dating history.
It's been physically and emotionally abusive and that's not something that disappears, it lingers.
My brain says, be careful be careful, trust no one. My body says...... Come on just a lil huggy, maybe a peck, what harm could it do???
There is always these conflicting thoughts. But once again you can't just lash out for the sake of it.
You can vocalise your unhappiness but why scar someone else?
Why not empathise and think, hmm well if I'm patient and kind, maybe she will change her mind and meet me sooner, instead of, let's make her feel bad and then she will be as miserable as I am.
I was actually going to tell him, that this month or next I was prepared to see him but then he opened his big mouth and I saw his true nature emerge....
Yesterday part of the Mama's Day surprises arrived, the nutty chocolates went down well, especially as they were low fat and not super sugary, which is what she prefers.
The fudge she didn't enjoy as much, she doesn't like chewy, more waxy crumbly. The homemade stuff but I was attracted to the unusual reusable tin.
The rest of it, the Sarah Jessica Parker Dawn hand lotion, the chilli plantain chips, which I've never seen before.
I've ever seen sweet or salty and she likes spicy things, seemed like a great bundle of treats, should arrive this week.
For me yesterday I felt like treating myself, so I got chicken sushi, this chocolate torte slice and praline chocolate.
I managed to order another face mask as the other one is running low from Eclat.
Oh my skin is back to normal now, no more dryness, yay. I also got a batch of eye drops that amounted to just over a pound each.
Lastly I'm also running low on essential oils, so it was just under a tenner for four of them.
Peppermint, Eucalyptus, lemon and I thought I would try orange and lime as citrus just makes me happy, with that fresh uplifting scent.
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Something on your mind? I am all ears, I mean eyes and l will get back to you inbetween rants :D