#SpoofLife1 - Maltesers Headquarters Meeting

"Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to our weekly sit down session.

Our own Malteser branded hot chocolate and biscuits are at the back, no outside snacks please.

We need some ideas on a new flavour, Cadbury's, Ferreros swan around like they own the place and is always doing exciting mix ups and we want to smash the competition.

So come on, some of you must have some ideas. You at the back, stop stuffing your face on company time."

*Raises hand* "Yes what it is, speak up." 

"Have you considered white and dark versions?"

"You nitwit, that's already in production, don't you read the company newsletter?"

*Raises hand timidly* "Yess? And this better be good or we are cancelling the trip to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory."

"Umm how about mint flavoured?" 

"Hmm, well everyone is doing that already, it's not exactly unique, we would just be copying everyone else."

"So it seems but ours would have a unique twist." 

"Oh Yea and what is that then?"

"Mouthwash flavour!" 

"Have you lost your senses?? We want to entice people, not drive them away."

"Look, think about, everyone has cornered the market on the sweet minty dessert flavour, what if we did the opposite and made it tart instead?"

"It would be unexpected. It would be a shock to the senses. It would be unique."

"People would tell their friends and family and they would try it."

"Mouthwash though....... You don't think it would put them off our range entirely?"

"Nooooo they would grow to love it and never have to brush afterwards.

We could market it like this.....

New and improved Maltesers, the fresh minty chocolate, that sweetens your smile and cleans your breath.

You never have to gargle again."

"My word you're a genius, we will steal all the mouthwash customers and turn them into Teser consumers.

Crikey all the gum manufacturers will be out of business too. 

Now if we could just make nicotine family friendly, we could take over the universe....."