#BlogLife192 - Does my mama resent me?

If you are a writer or blogger, it's hard staring at a blank page willing it to inspire you.

When I first started out, I did that a lot, thinking an idea will come into fruition quickly and I'll be done in no time.

Now if I am empty. I'll do different things, housework, emails, cooking, and when I relax and free my mind, an idea will pop up or maybe just a title.

Sometimes I'll just write a bit and leave it as a draft because there is another post or chapter I want to focus on first.

Other times, it just doesn't feel ready so I'll hold off from publishing and put up something else instead.

This is what happened today because I was working on something else and this thought popped into me head.

When my parents separated after months of brutal fights and sleeping in separate rooms.

My mama came to me as my papa was not handling it well. She asked me, after making the decision to move out and divorce if they should reconcile.

I thought that was a pretty insensitive thing to ask a kid. I did want them to be a family but I don't think anybody was happy at the point.

I personally wanted to get as far away from one of my siblings as possible.

I think I just said, you don't seem happy, it's up to you but it's probably not a good idea, if you can't find a way to patch things up.

She went ahead with the divorce but told me after he passed. Hmm, I really should have reconciled.

It wasn't an accusatory tone but I wonder if deep down she blames me for her adult decision to break up.

I muse if that is the reason she continues to give me a hard time.

As deep down she thinks I interfered in her life. She trashed him, he trashed her but once again, she re-wrote history in her mind.