#AgonyLife13 - Dear SS What's your advice when I'm at a low point both mentally and physically?

I've realised certain things are a long term transformation, not short term.

You have to catch yourself being too self sabotaging or hearing it from other people.

There are certain books and films where the theme is... Transform yourself to be liked..

1) Lose weight

2) Change your clothing from comfy to slutty

3) Alter your personality from bitter to perky

4) Switch from insecure to brazen overnight

5) Revamp your hairstyle from easy to complicated

I think small changes are better. Open yourself up to various possibilities.

The only things to fix is whatever you don't like about yourself, not what others don't care for.

There is no such thing as perfection so why turn yourself inside out attempting it?

Try to like yourself but reserve love for those quirks that you genuinely appreciate and make you who you are.

Don't be weight/diet or exercise obsessed just try your best to make attainable choices.

Think of it like this......

Woman A - "I wish I had your legs."

Woman B to A - "Are you kidding? I would kill for your belly."

Woman A to B - "No way. I seriously would be thrilled just to have your arms."

You see, we all envy someone's else's features but at the same time, they are admiring us.

Work with what you have. Accept it, love it and either keep finding ways to make it flattering or tone up.

They say confidence is sexy. Do something your passionate about, either as a hobby or for employment.

That will give you such a boost. It will make you smile in a million different ways, even when you're not actively doing it that second.

Be surrounded with genuine people that care. It's too easy to be around people that hurt and are sly.

I've been there and would rather be alone than around that toxic mess.

Date kind people, not someone that makes you feel bad, where you end up crying at night.

Even if you're not into hair, beauty, makeup, clothes. Have a routine that makes you feel soothed and special.

It's vital that you feel great about yourself, not all the time, not in bad situations but in general.

It will help you cope when these twisted deceptive people try to encroach in your life.

You'll know you deserve a lot better. You could try...

~Brain teasers or various puzzles~

~Bubbly baths with music or books~

~Experimental dramatic makeup~

~Daring haircuts~

~New swanky clothes~

~Massages~

~A long leisurely walk~

~New bath or face products with heady scents~

~Lay ins or naps~

My point is get to a place in your life, where you know you deserve good things.

Want to know what I envied about my friends and they admired about me?

For me it's easy. They had slender tums and I always wanted that. They were taller than me and bubblier.

They didn't seem to have that deep rooted insecurity that i had.

For them, they wanted my ample cleavage, my nose, I'm also wondering if they craved my independent nature.

At one point they were all in disastrous relationships but didn't want to be single, whereas I cut loose unsuitable partners easily. 

I never needed a man, I just wanted one around but my life was just fine without a relationship.

I was my own rock or encourager. I could go on dates with myself and have a blast.