#BlogLife344 - Unsuitable Mr Suit

I think chatting with a random was another way to calm my troubled mind, it helped somewhat.

He was a fly by night Mr X. He wasn't keen on sharing his name, which in the beginning, I can sort of understand but several chats later when eventually I would probably end up spilling my name and he wouldn't..

Would definitely infuriate me. He also seemed to struggle with basic conversation when it was on chat. On the phone he was fine, it's a lil unusual for it to be that way around.

I did the test and clammed up a bit and he really just floundered, until I resumed talking.

That's not ideal for me. I need the interaction to flow and I do not want to be leading and talking all the time, no fun for me.

Also he mentioned taking drugs and I am very anti-drugs for recreational use because of my family. I have no interest in being around someone who uses it, casually or habitually..

It would make no difference. I want nothing to do with it. I think that was the main reason I just ended it. I was looking for an excuse and he gave me one.

He had a delightful voice, he could be witty at times, I did laugh and he was able to switch between serious and lighthearted easily.

But the other thing that really put me off him was the harshness. Oh actually two things, oops.

He's not remotely complimentary and I wasn't fishing for praise but there wasn't any niceties at all, which is a no-no.

The thing with being like that is, it kinda makes the criticisms, that much meaner.

"As long as you find yourself amusing, that's all that matters."

Which I find insulting because my humour is a very vital part of me.

I use it to lessen the emotional/physical/lifelessness of my daIly existence. I need someone on my wavelength that understands me so I don't have to explain my silliness.

I was constantly trying to distract myself from being haunted and the flashbacks that have been nonstop for the past few days.

Sure I can be serious and I have no problem with that but a huge part of keeping myself strong and not depressed is sharing jokes and being immature selectively.

When someone else is like that to me, it's like a huge burst of energy and I don't feel so burdened and overwhelmed.

His excuse was that it was hard to read the tone on chat but honestly, these were very basic bantering giggles, that should have been picked up on.

I'm not expecting everyone in the world to understand my crazy wit but get a sense of it, at least and don't ask me to decipher what I'm trying to say.