#BlogLife742 - Avoid me? Self red tagged and flagged

Good evening or morning, depending on the time you're reading this but actually it's the afternoony.

Last night I was watching asmr youtubey videos to relax before bed and I saw one about types of people to avoid dating.

And curious me, thought, I bet some of my traits are listed and low and behold they were.

Someone said avoid the friendless, just because they are loners that's no excuse not to socialise, everyone needs people around them or some nonsense...

I only have online and not real world friends and that's based on all the experiences that I've had, surrounded by users out for themselves and their needs.

I think that's a huge assumption, all of us independents are needy and attention seeking and don't have people skills because we don't have fans around us.

Alright to play Devil's advocate I have spoken to a wide array of people and some are like that, but not all.

So am I to be avoided? I personally don't think so. I'm just careful about what information I share and the speed at which I'm comfortable around strangers.

I do concede I have an excess amount of baggage. The need to feel physically and emotionally safe in my sociable surroundings.

The need to limit any physical touch because I would be on edge, the whole evening.

I'd like to be able to set boundaries and not receive a disgusted look.

I don't want to be forced into a hug or kiss or to tell my life story or personal details.

Those things should flow naturally or not at all. When everyone is relaxed and intrigued and having a good time.

Why must things go at lightning speed? Why do I always feel pressured?

Why can't I be myself, without someone push, push, pushing me?

The lack of patience is off-putting and surprise surprise, not all of us are the same!!

Anyway had to get that off my chest and last night was a disaster.

I had been so careful with my lenses. I had only one contact lens left and no spares.

I was taking it out and getting ready for bed. I thought I had screwed the lid down, after I had placed it inside.

But nope I didn't and as I tipped the case, the lens flew somewhere mysteriously.

I used the phone light and squinted and felt the bed but no sign of it.

In the morning, where there was more natural light, once again I scoured the area and no joy.

You need your bloody contacts lenses in, to see properly. There is very lil hope of finding them without it.

I am down to wearing my glasses. I have one pair and it's so weird to use them.

I'm allergic to wearing them for one. My ears have this burning sensation after a while.

Luckily today is fine, although I am getting a headache. Plus ugh, I forgot how much I have to push them up my nose.

They always slide down ugh! Then there is the overall vision loss, which is 50% worse with glasses.

It's almost like someone has smeared gloopy liquid on them, you can still see, but not well.

Whereas contact lens, give the most freedom and clarity and sharpness.

It's not a perfect solution, where the short-sightedness no longer bothers me, I still struggle to see far away, signs, buses etc.

But it's the best that my eyes can be. Where I am, there are two buses that are similar.

Let's say it is 00 and 01. I can't tell them apart until they are almost nearly in front of me.

With the glasses, I am not even sure I will be able to see it at all.

Makeup is going to be tricky and the brow wax strips, I'm not sure how I can do that with my glasses in the way.

That also means no sunglasses protecting my sensitive eyes and when the sun is shining brightly, I can't see in front of me at all.

Will the spares ever arrive, it's now been 6 weeks. What if I am stuck like this having partial vision??

What if the glasses break or I lose them? That would mean blindness.

I can only make out shapes, not details. I have no backup so I feel uneasy.

I keep wanting to take them off, it's just so unnatural wearing them longterm.

I raced to get contacts as soon as I was 16yr and I think it still took a while.

As much as they burn my eyes, and sting them and are uncomfy, I would not survive without them.

Getting contacts was almost like seeing for the first time. I miss that :(