#BlogLife149 - Loner by choice or circumstances?

In general life I have spoken to a whole range of individuals, some have been popular and surrounded and others have a smaller circle of people around them.

In some cases though, there are those that don't have anyone or fleeting acquaintances that maybe around occasionally but not really in a dependable manner.

I used to think that it was more normal to be around a lot of friends, even if they were fake and taking me for granted. It was a numbers game.

How many friends do you have? Ten. You? Ummmmmmmm none. Shrugs. I felt like there was a checklist to be normal and having a lot of friends was one of them

I have the randoms, I have people flitting in and out but friends? I don't have any, anymore. You know as strange as this concept is...

I am actually okay with it. I should be horrified right? Embarrassed even? Questioning what is wrong with me?

Hah. I am done with all that. It is exhausting giving and giving and giving and getting barely a tenth of effort back in return. It just doesn't seem worth it.

I have re-thunk the whole attitude and decided it's actually fun to do my own thing. I don't have someone raining on my parade saying ermmm..

I don't want to do that.

I don't want to make the effort. I don't want to meet you halfway. I don't want to give you any of my time. I don't want to go cheap and cheerful.

I want to go where I want and spend a fortune on crap food and an extravagant atmosphere because it is the place to be seen.

I no longer have to deal with the apathetic personalities! A weight has been lifted off my shoulders so I understand how people suck the life out of you and when they aren't around..

I have the biggest smile on my face. Oh the joy, the freedom, the weightlessness of it all is a blessing. Before I was dressing up, walking in heels I couldn't move in and feeling out of place.

I just didn't like these fancy places with the sterile environments and lack of warmth and friendliness. I am a low key type of girl.

I just want great food and genuine bodies around me but that seems too impossible a goal so for now I'm going to keep doing my own strutting thing.

I will breathe in the air, look up at the sun, feel this immense light inside of me and carry on living my life and carving out happiness where I can find it.