#Agonylife4 - Dear SS how do I get over my ex?

Firstly just know that we have all been there and it really sucks.

It will eventually get better but for now you might just have to deal with whatever emotions you are going through until they become less intense.

1. Was it a mutual break up?

Think about this carefully. Was is a whimsical decision or was there merit to it? 

It might not seem like it now, but maybe it is for the best and you can find someone more suitable way in the future.

2. Was it a healthy or non healthy relationship?

When dissecting this before we move on. You need to be able to take the good from it, learn what you can and just leave the negativity behind.

How can I be a better girlfriend/boyfriend? Could I have supported more? Been less selfish? Opened up more? Did I allocate enough quality time to my relationship?

If each day you can strive to be a better person than you are doing your part to evolve and make yourself ready for a new uplifting relationship in the future.

3. I know what you are going to say........ But I will ask anyway, can I keep tabs on my ex, what if he is keeping tabs on me? That's acceptable right?

Wrong, false, hell no, absolutely not, NO! All clear on my stance? 

Good, if you really want to move on as you claim, you need to cut all ties and erase them from your existence completely.

Obviously ignore that if you have kids together but you can still limit your interactions where possible as while you are hung up on this person, how does anyone else get a look in?

It is not fair to bring someone new into your life while you are heavily mooning over your ex, that is not acceptable and will make you a user.

Stop obsessing with what your ex is doing. They are your past. Look to your future and all the wonderful opportunities that are yet to be experienced.

Take a deep breath, delete, the texts, voicemails, call history and number. Unfollow, block do whatever you need too.

This is about a fresh start and a re-evaluation of your priorities, mainly yourself.

What do you want out of life?

Are you satisfied in your career?

Take up a new hobby, skill, interest.

Travel somewhere different

Shake up your routine

Re-invent your look

3. How do I get closure?

Vent to friends, family and whoever you feel closest too. 

Be completely candid and raw in a journal, blog, vlog etc. 

Write a letter and say everything you need too. Pour your heart out and have the frank discussion you craved but didn't get the chance to have. Don't mail it, just release the feelings.

4. How do I feel better?

Cut yourself slack and stop expecting to be over it immediately. Take the time needed to grieve but allow yourself to heal also.

Do nice things for yourself. You could treat yourself to something special.

Do some pampering or book an appointment.

Stick to your normal daily routine. Keep busy, have a purpose. Your thoughts can stray temporarily but after that, get back to work!!

Start living for yourself. You are the king or queen of your own destiny.

Don't wait for things to get easier, go out and seek the radical changes for your well being.

I have enormous belief in you, don't let me down, okay???!!!

You are a stunning, resilient hot totty and anyone would be lucky, damn privileged to have you in their lives!

Finally stop putting your ex on a damn pedestal. Stop thinking they were perfect and had no faults.

You know they had a lot of terrible habits. Think about those for a change. They were far from perfect.

I mean letting you go? That's just bad judgement for one. Perhaps they were manipulative? Perhaps they refused to compromise??

Whatever it was, it will just help to know that maybe the relationship you built up in your head, already had some significant cracks and wasn't as ideal as you made out..