#BlogLife112 - The worst thing you can say to me is....

I don't have time for you..

I already feel invisible and unheard, therefore this is not a new concept to me and I won't be waiting around.

There are some nice women here, maybe I'll just invite one of them back to mine.. 

Again I've been predominantly cheated on from most of the guys I have dated and I'm expecting it at this point. We are not a couple or tied to each other but you better believe I am assessing your behaviour/words.

Be your easy going self immediately.. 

I think or hope I've gotten to the stage where I'm not a wreck before a date. I'll just feel apprehensive.

However I'm sure when the moment arrives, some nerves may get the best of me and if that happens I'll be choosing my words carefully and may not be as friendly.

I'll also be looking for signs that you are not having a good time and wish to cut it short. 

I don't want to hangout with someone who doesn't appreciate my glorious companionship. 

I was just joking..

The issue with saying this is, that the damage is already done and I am spiralling. You have sown the seeds of doubt in my head and now I just wonder even more about my significance in your life.

I guess my point in all this is that, my life will never be straightforward and although I am still not looking for someone to be in my life.

I am looking for traits. I don't want to be an afterthought or a first thought. I only want to be allowed to grow and figure out my role in a potential relationship.

I don't want to be judged or misunderstood. I want to share and not have it turned around. You know the real honest to goodness reason that I let people take the lead and outline the terms....?

Is because I choose it that way. I'm aware of what they are doing and I accept it because it benefits me! The other times when I feel manipulated, will be the time that I push back and refuse to cooperate.

I will stand my ground and fight or leave because that is in my best interest. Just be aware.......When you think you are in control.....You really are not.

I don't like men I can walk all over but I also don't tolerate men that think they can force me to act or speak according to their whims.

Only I get to decide that, never you!