#BlogLife841 - Rare wandering adventure

Today was good but a bit strange, there was lots of glitches, the bank wouldn't let me log in.

Just Eat wouldn't load. It was a nice sunny day and I had a late UC appointment so now I'm lounging.

I really fancied the roti wraps and the Indian restaurants don't usually open until the evening but I saw one and decided to try it out.

It's a pity they didn't have the veggy pakoras or the chicken samosas or the traditional desserts but hopefully they will find my address easily.

I ordered some chicken wraps and a fudge cake and a sprite. It's nearly 5.30pmish and I haven't eaten or drank anything all day.

I still don't feel particular hunger pangs but maybe when I get going I will.

There's a new noodle place and a kebab place locally that I didn't realise, maybe Mama would like to try it some time.

It's a good job I'm not hungry as they predict an hour and 30 minutes has passed already.

Oh I finally got my brows done £7 but I told her no threading and she still did it.

Ughhhh why don't they listen? That really annoys me. I keep feeling like my eye area is bleeding but it doesn't seem to be.

It's stopped pulsating with discomfort. I can't wait to change when the food gets here.

I also had just about enough energy to pop into the EE phone shop and they said there isn't any £19 deals going.

I had a feeling, my best bet is the crappy phone customer service malarky.

I just feel drained and disappointed with them so I guess that's why I'm not eager to call and deal with them but I will when I have some free time.

Oh surprisingly my UC advisor gave me a phone appointment, it's a video call but he said probably will be a routine phone thing.

Ugh I hope so. I refuse to stress about that, I have enough on my plate.

I checked the post and no face wash or other appointments. I'm going to have to chase it up and tell them I haven't received it.

Aside from stressing. I feel good today. I got a lot off my mind. Hmm ok well it wasn't really rotis.

More like fresh soft greek type bread, tasty but I prefer rotis, was very mild and plenty of leftovers for tomorrow as the bread was thick.

Oh the puree wrap was more like a roti, a bit dry maybe but it satisfied my cravings, quite tasty topped with a burger sauce and chopped veggies and/or onions I think.

Except for the cramps and nausea, there wasn't much pain today, my back twinged a bit but I guess that's why I shopped as it wasn't so taxing.

There's something else, although I don't want to gossip but sometimes I want to shake people and say Grow up and think rationally.

Do you hear the words coming out of your mouth? Take a breath, think things through and then decide.

Why rush in when you have time and maybe you're doing it for the wrong reasons.

I'm trying to be helpful but I lose patience when people blurt things out and you wonder if they have lost their damn mind.

What are you expecting me to say? Go ahead, to hell with the consequences??

Jump into something crazy, see how that works out for you... In the long run..

I have no time to do the softy softy approach. I just call it like I see it.

That's it, brain unpacked, now I have to tidy up and relax for the night.

#BlogLife840 - I am buzzing, new Samsung A16 phone incoming :) updated

I am so happy I could do a cartwheel! I'm trying to get things done one by one.

It still seems like there is a lot to do, but the one major thing was getting a new phone and contract as soon as possible.

EE was shafting me on the deals though. I was really annoyed by that, a loyal customer not getting any bargains.

It is ridiculous so as I was on hold waiting to connect, I thought I would be polite but sassy saying EE is not that friendly with upgrades like BT is and they were more prone to good deals.

Well he took mock offence and he said Well you're paying £17, I think it was £19 before but they reduced it.

Anyway I mentioned Samsung phones but not wanting to pay a lot more and he said alright because you're already with us for Broadband, that's a discount for you.

It's going to be a challenge but I'll see what I can do. I had low to zero expectations because every time I called they wanted me to pay double, no way!

Then he didn't mention the A15 and I said wouldn't that be cheaper?

And he said that's now gone, so it's the Samsung A16 and I thought Oh no, that's new, I googlied it and it was released last November.

But then he said Good news, I can give it to you for £20!! Arghh, I know it's not less money but it's not a huge hike either.

Plus he said the yearly cost does not apply or maybe he added it already? I don't know.

Maybe it was £16 before? As that was the charge for the other networks, actually no, that was the A15...

But I know for next year it will be a £4 hike, although who knows maybe another offer will reduce it.

I have no clue but I am over the moon, to finally have a new phone.

I should mention that I did have to pay the delivery fee upfront which was £7 ouch and I did make that sound to him haha.

He said he can't give me a discount and reduce the delivery charge, I mean it is next day tracked but still hefty.

Phones used to be delivered free but it probably took a week lol.

Ha, I want next day and no charge but it is, what it is. I cannot believe for the first time ever, I got to pick colours, it was blue-black yuck, grey, yuck or green yummy.

I just chose the green and he said that was really popular. Why they don't have pink, purple or reds is beyond me.

As though women don't purchase phones pfffft!! I should have asked if it was a smart charge phone.

The rules have changed again, now they send you the contract via a sharing screen and you read and accept it.

Plus they or the courier, dpd, sends a pin and you show that to the delivery person and that's how you get the phone, luckily it's not passports, mines expired.

I used to cover up the date lol. I have to be crafty sometimes. There will be pictures and a review coming or maybe a setup or all of the above..

Sometimes delays turn out to be the best thing, if I had called sooner or upgraded earlier I would have gotten an older phone.

Stress made me wait and because of that I am getting a newer phone, a nicer colour and a cheaper deal.

It was worth the wait. Oh and Mama has begun her holiday abroad, she just texted me, if she had let me know I wouldn't have called her and raised her rates.

I just emailed instead. I don't know what the cost of calling or texting abroad is and I'm trying not to have huge expenses.

Last thing, everything is basically the same. I have a feeling I was getting 6gb of data that I don't use, I have no need for it.

But now I'm getting 5gb it's not significant. I just wanted to mention it.

I only use mobile data for power cuts and outdoor gaming, checking the bus timetables and maybe emails.

I have unlimited wifi at home so need for anything else. It's a nice safety net though for emergencies, in case the router breaks or the laptop dies..

I thought they were going to reduce it to be honest, back ages ago, you were lucky to get even 1gb.

It was horrendously expensive. You know what else is funny? When I won that OnePlus phone and they said pick anyone you want, but be prepared to pay the extra if it's not covered by the £150 I think it was voucher..

I wanted to get that green phone, it was dark green gorgeousness but pricey so no chance.

This green one is light and less pretty. It will be uniqueish though I hope.

Unfortunately a bit bigger too, so even more awkward to hold. He said I should be sent a text with the tracking details which is good as on the website the order page has crashed ugh.

Oh and I had to tell him that I had been trying to upgrade since October and this was the first decent offer I received, he seemed astounded but it's the truth.

EE suck for upgrades unless you have endless patience to hound them for an offer that's semi decent.

Hmm they haven't sent me the pin yet, maybe I am supposed to get it on the day of the delivery or when it's with the courier?

I'm still nervous about this pin code. I've now gotten the 1 hour window from 3.50pm - 4.50pm but no code.

I contacted EE and they said it's nothing to do with them, it's DPD and she gave me the wrong contact number for them.

I tried downloading the app but they have a registration section saying leave the parcel with a neighbour and I don't want to do that, I would never get the phone.

I'm just going to hope that they send it nearer the time. It's only just before 11am now.

The other thing which made me laugh is that they cancelled that complimentary 10% out of contract discount, I was getting every month for some unknown reason.

It makes sense as I have just renewed and then today, they said Oh for staying with us, here's a 10% offer.

Ha, so it's returned the £2 off my bill, I wonder how long it lasts? Instead of paying £20 it should be £18. Strange but helpful.

After all that negotiating and endlessly calling then I did eventually get a double money off multi promotional deal.

I might update this when it's arrived or let you know what happened with the pin drama.

The dpd driver didn't send the pin code, it came just now about 4pmish, 15 minutes earlier than the tracker predicted.

He didn't even ask for the flipping code, goodness me. I was stressing so much he wouldn't hand it over.

But he just said there you go lol. Now there is another issue, I don't know if they craftily charged me for accessories, there is a £25 amount in the invoice.

Sneaky, I will definitely chase that up. I hope not. When I asked him what was included he just said the usb wire, no plug and the phone.

I see a plastic phone cover and this £10 gift voucher for I don't know what.

I'll figure it out later. I even looked for my passport to show him some ID, I was ready to plead.

I was going to show the phone with the texts and the invoice proof but again thankfully, none of that was needed.

Maybe they only make the fuss for the fancy pants phones, like iphones and the newest galaxies...

I just wanted to add to this for a reference when I upgrade again in 2 years.

At least I will know not to panic. I'm definitely ready for a brighter display and better battery life.

I have so many posts stored for later. I'll experiment with the phone a bit and then put a review post out.

It might be next week, I'm not sure.

#BlogLife839 - Pretty on the outside - Horrendous inside

The weekend was rough but productive. At least I didn't wallow for all of it.

Monday was hard too but I still put out a post and I was waiting to finish it on a good note and Postie came to the rescue.

I totally forgot about the tops from Amazon, even though I checked the tracking this morning, I thought customs would be on them for a while.

It arrived at the airport early this morning so I was surprised it was out for delivery, it took 11 days.

I'm so pleased, that they fit roomily and the quality is outstanding, it's not thin, it's a lil thickish and warm.

I love the range of colours and styles and it's still on sale, should I get the reds?

The only annoying thing is the buttons are tiny and fiddly, I don't know if they'll come apart when I wear it, I was planning to have something underneath anyway.

I don't usually like buttons at the front but they blend in and I suppose I can undo a few in the summer.

I think I'll wear the blue or purple out tomorrow. It's still hard to come to terms with looking different, but feeling the same.

I have to re-do the floors again, they aren't spotless. Ugh I wish they didn't take so long to dry.

I had a UC meeting today, I think if I'm early again. I'll get my brows done and that will be one less thing on my mind.

I'm going to confess this Friday night slip.

It's 1.23am so technically it's Saturday but knowing that I'm going to re-block H soon made me sad.

I actually thought it was Sunday as that is the deadline I set.

I had no intention of contacting him, until I found myself texting. 

I didn't feel embarrassed or cringey. I felt relieved. 

I still don't expect a reply. He would have done it by now..

My stomach is in knots. If you're curious about what I said and why..?

I am unreachable most of the time. I'm careful about what I share and will find any excuse to distance myself away from someone appealing.

Just for once, I thought.. What if I put myself out there?

Made myself vulnerable? Would it really hurt so bad if I did?

I can handle disinterest. It's happened before,  it will again.

So what if he doesn't respond? At least I was more open than usual. 

It's worth the risk. I'm not optimistic just matter of fact.

I'll add to this Sunday night, after I click block! He didn't reach out and I can handle the rejection and not fall apart.

All I said was that I was going to stop thinking about him now after you ghosted me following the jokey goodbye.

I did really like you but I get that you don't feel the same. That's all X.

I'm glad I tried, I'm glad I put myself out there.. It's all part of growing and healing, being vulnerable and a bit more open.

Just because it didn't work out this time, it doesn't mean it never will.

I don't feel sad anymore, I got the closure I needed to move on peacefully, that's what I wanted.

:)

#BlogLife838 - Chatty Chicks Watching Flicks 18 - The Have and The Have Nots

This is an old tv show that I just started watching recently. I'm on a Tyler Perry binge, it's soo good though, the intricate stories and the layers unfolding.

One minute you're laughing, then sad, then confused, then shocked.

It's quite brilliant how it unravels. It's mainly centred on this family, with a wealthy complicated dynamic.

The kids both went through trauma, one is suicidal, one is an addict.

The hubby is a serial cheater, the wifey has cancer and noone in the family knows, just the kind maid, who becomes a friend.

Then on top of that, the son's addiction counsellor has a serious crush on him, but he's closeted because his parents will disown him if he comes out.

But the son is straight and he's trying to combat his insecurities and reconcile with his girlfriend, only the counsellor is sabotaging it.

On one hand, you feel sorry that he's stuck and his parents aren't supportive and on another, you're seriously creeped out by his actions.

He's a therapist, he's supposed to be neutral. I hope that eventually he'll fire himself as a therapist and seek help to come to terms with his identity.

That's why in counselling, you're supposed to undergo it first, before you treat others, how can you know the right thing to do or say otherwise?

Except for me, I think I did pretty well but it was draining. I just felt my own stresses on top of it and it got too much.

Although at least I am trying to explore everything that's happened to me and how I'm feeling, that's not professional but it's a gateway at least to understanding myself.

Anyway the last thread is the husband's latest mistress turns out to be his frail daughter's new bestie.

And she blackmails him, ha and complications ensue when he and his bestie retaliate.

Goodness me it's a lot, but very fascinating. I have to say though during today's chat date.

I ended up adding a bit to one of the stories. It wasn't much and not really anything major but at least it's helping to move it along.

I love that he was working and multi tasking and still could maintain a conversation.

Today he brought up the number swap thingy and I'm ok with it but he's slowing down the pace and I can't say it bothers because we chat daily now.

Well kinda always have from the beginning and now it's migrated to during the day too, not just evenings.

I'm content as long as I get the daily post out and sort out my emails and all the UC obligations.

Then I usually break up the day with munchies, watching half an episode and gaming, Looney Tunes, Scrabble, Match Masters or Klondike.

But the time does fly because sometimes I'm working on what to say tomorrow but actually I have a few drafts at the moment, with various themes.

I doubt if I'll see him tonight, I'll check at 9pm as he was off to the gym.

I'm going to watch Tracker and there is a new episode of Found out.

The problem with these shows is, there are so many gaps between episodes, I forget what on earth is happening.

There is a new love interest for Candace the former mistress he seems decent but I think it's a long con game.

He's just almost perfect. I cringe that he said he was looking for someone exotic, ickkkkk.

I always feel like it makes us non-caucasians sound like we're a novelty object, something to capture, have fun with and discard because it's a bucket list, we're not people, we're playthings.

The other thing he said was that he's a serial cheater and womaniser, he chases, conquers and then moves on.

But the way he's kinda romancing her, it doesn't seem like a fling.

I think he's trying to implicate her in insider trading or some other shady deal, to lose her cash and therefore lose her security.

I do actually hope that's not the case, if he's a good guy, it will be her first.

He's dangling this investment bait but deliberately not pushing to make her think, it's her idea.

That's why I don't trust him, he's pushing her to be vulnerable, this lets her guard down, and you don't think straight, when that happens.

You're just want to stay warm and fuzzy, not cautious about motives..

I just want to add this theory as I am near the end. The daughter Amanda ends up allegedly committing suicide as she goes through another catastrophic event.

If it was murder I thought the only person with a motive was her attacker but then high on drugs the brother blurted something out.

I wonder if in his fractured delusional state he murdered her and made it appear as a suicide?

Because he ended up shooting his Papa and his Mama but not directly at his Mama, it turns out, he spared her..

He blames his parents for not protecting him and thinks they don't care but then he's full of self loathing and insecurities.

Mistaking friendship for exploitation. Anyway as usual I am over-thinking it all.

I can just relate to the angst of that constant building turmoil and if you don't get help or a release, it explodes.

What's the motive for killing his sister? Maybe she was too much of a burden?

Maybe he wanted to spare her any further pains? Or maybe he thought with his family gone, he could just erase the past like it never happened, no reminders left....?

He doesn't want to help himself, that's what annoys me, ample opportunities and consequences and still no growth or realisation that he has to help himself, no-one can wave a wand and fix him instantly.