Asmr easy listening

Stress, pain, discomfort and early appointments all seem to contribute to my insomnia. I don't drink caffeine or alcohol. I've tried having a set time to go to sleep but that never works.

There is always something that I've forgotten to do and I'm tired at different times. If I lay down while I'm wide awake, I'll just feel irritable and restless, so I prefer to wait until the tiredness has set in. 

One night when I couldn't sleep I ended up watching YouTube videos and it was there I discovered people had uploaded these softly spoken role play videos in hopes of relaxing and soothing the viewer. 

Spa, singing, cooking and joke telling to name a few. 

I find listening to the scalp massage and facial/pedicure videos help me unwind the most because I'm used to doing and receiving beauty treatments so I know how thoroughly blissful it is to imagine I'm at a beauty salon.

I'm discovering new talents continuously that help me block out the world and feel taken care of. I can now more easily just fall into a deep contented sleep. 

There were some sweet and sentimental videos that were made previously that aided me tenfold when I was doubled over in pain and feeling really low but now all the so-called friendship ones tend to be hitting on me with kissing sounds wtf!!

Friends, certainly not the ones that I call friends would never cross that line into being inappropriate and taking advantage when I'm vulnerable. 

It makes me cringe, when I'm just seeking a shoulder to lean on and suddenly the guy is trying it on. NO NO NO. I see it as just plain disconcerting.

I think it's because I've experienced it so much that I know the signs and even in a so-called "comforting" roleplay asmr video. 

It takes me back to those days when all I wanted was to be heard and cared for and all of the male friends I had just kept making innuendos and trying to make a move. That's one of my reasons I find it hard to trust people.

I hate the sound of my own voice or I may have been tempted to try and record one but I've been told it's soothing, maybe for a lark I'll write one out someday...