#BlogLife728 - You giving me lip, sweetie?

Normally I'll write a post on the night that I get here but I was too shattered, I even stopped replying to MC.

Slight panic when the cab driver got lost and I'm still unfamiliar so can't direct him, he just ignored my advice to stick to the high street and turned off.

Eventually he asked someone where Lidl was, as that's my landmark to Mama's place and then I spotted it.

But as with arriving he was hesitant to come right to the door, parked quite a few feet away which is perplexing, when carrying two heavy bags and a handbag to boot.

I think I figured out why I was charged less and I have to start adding that I have two bags, the handbag doesn't count.

They appear to tack on additional costs per bag and that's why the fare was cheaper than last year.

I have to start saying I have two hand luggage bags and my handbag and that's it!

They don't bloody help with the carrying and every car has a boot, so how they have the audacity to bill you that way, is ludicrous! 

Anyway arrived safely but I was really stiff and in quite a bit of pain until I borrowed mama's mat massager that I bought her.

It was glorious, slept deeply last night and I feel much brighter, with a shower and a scrambled egg toast with vegan butter.

That was delicious, I think Mama said it was the Flora brand. The good thing was that I remembered to pack almost everything.

I forgot the lip balm, so ended up ordered a few things, 2x lip balms for £2.50, Joy brand, raspberry flavoured.

Having tried that for a few days, I quite like how it retains the softness mostly, until I reapply it.

2x scrubs that I just use on my feet to keep them smooth in between pedicures.

Beauty Formula brand, cucumber and avocado scented and that cost £5.45 altogether, bargains galore wooop.

I'm still waiting for the Men's thick sockies, the lens cases, the lens and that's it.

Now onto the sweetie box review. The peanut brittle I expected to be nicer, it was ordinary, nothing special, Mama liked that it was less sweet than usual.

I don't recommend it. Next the chocolate ice, which was a layer of chocolate over the coconut ice, wow.

That is amazing, it was a really nice chocolate, and that coupled with the coconut made it just like a bounty, but nicer.

Highly recommend that one. These sweets I recommend having small pieces of and then putting it away for the next time.

Oh actually, that's all we've sampled. Neither of us are keen on salted caramel, so that peanut brittle might be given away.

The other one is the plain coconut ice. I'm not the biggest fan of coconut but once a year I don't mind it.

Sorry last one, the fudge coconut ice which as I don't like fudge gave that to Mama.

She said it was just ordinary, nothing organic or homemade, just store bought, so wouldn't recommend that either.

That's it really, everything arrived. I'm just waiting for a fancy breakfast. Ha.

I've never had eggs florentine before but it was the only place that did an egg muffin without pork.

It contains, eggs, spinach and hollandaise sauce, not sure I have sampled that sauce before.

I forgot to tell them to make the eggs well done. Argh and I forgot to order dessert. Darn.

#BlogLife727 - Alternative to pizza

While it's fresh I'll write the Salcura face wash review. It came out as a gel, mustard colour with a faint fruity scent.

It reluctantly foamed on the face brush and felt nice and light. I'm currently breaking out a lil at the moment.

Could be stress, sugar, pmt or all of the above. Seems like a nice wash at the moment, not sure how effective it will be at treating the acne and dryness.

That men's face wash is drying my face, the men's ones all seem to do that.

I'm having to apply moisturiser multiple times a day and that's not something I use a lot in summer.

I also tried Dunkin Doughnuts for the first time I think, as it's part of the pre-celebratory birthday cake phase.

I got the cocoa hazelnut 2x £2.50 not cheap but a good size and nice amount of filling, it's not too much and I prefer that.

Very messy but tasty, I still prefer the plain or jam and cream but this was a treat and I recommend it.

I am stuffed just had the mini pizza alternative, flatbread with toppings of cheese, onion and garlic, heavenly.

I decided to post this as I'm still away but having a good time. The tension has left my body.

I was having an issue redeeming the Just Eat giftcard but I didn't realise there is a dedicated section that you have to click on and then it gets applied to the account.

Me and Mama's fish and chips cost £2.39 afterwards ha. She's due back from swimming soon so she wanted it here, when she returns.

And I ordered some more lingerie. I wish Marks would come up with new designs, it's been the same patterns for years.

I tried the scrub, it doesn't have a scent but a pretty green colour and works effectively at smoothing the skin.

The last beauty review is for the Joy lip balm, and a medium thick kinda creamy gel.

It seems quite effective at softening the mouth and retaining the moisture after it's evaporated a bit.

I still have to reapply it after munching, drinking and washing my face but I like it currently.

I'll just add about the Salcura face wash, that it completely removed all my blemishes and leaves my face clear and soft.

It does take a bit of effort to remove it, tends to stick to the skin but I would recommend it for problematic skin.

#BlogLife726 -Naan fake kebab concocton

Song of the day - Stevie Wonder - Happy Birthday

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwscb3QIVSg

It's still not my day but soon it will be.. Just thought it would be a last good song of the day.

I knew there was something else I wanted to add but the blinding pain is consuming me currently.

Mama opened all her gifts, loved the essential oils and fudge..

And I was waiting for her to react to the sweet selection and I'm so surprised she loved the concept.

She had never heard of the fudge or chocolate coconut ice either, plus the salted caramel peanut brittle, all went down swimmingly, can't wait to share next week..

Assuming the lenses ever arrive and the other stuff, yeesh it's taking forever when the Posties are not showing up daily.

Anyway it's Saturday afternoon and I barely slept last night because of the awful humidity, thank heavens it's cooler today.

I started sleeping on top of the covers but I miss being tucked in so I put a light covering over me.

I just came up with a new foodie concoction. What shall I call it? A sweet and tarty naan?

I went off bread and rolls and wondered what else I could munch on that was simple and carby.

And I came up with a recipe, olives, garlic and coriander (cilantro) naan bread, onion and garlic dip and some Iceland sweet and salty chicken bites.

The chicken is still cooking and I keep munching the bread with the dip as it's glorious.

You could add cheese if you wanted but I don't have any and I'm not sure I would want to add it anyway, there are so many flavours going on.

Also I might add some Heinz sandwich spread, I think it's like liquified chunky coleslaw, also not that tangy a nice flavour.

It's something different as I have never liked buying the pitta breads, I found them so flavourless and boring.

Oh I just tried the chicken to see if it was cooked, yup 15 minutes was enough as they are tiny.

It is so good, as though it has a kiss, a light touch of sweetness and then a bit of saltiness and a lot of yumminess. 

My hand is not 100% but it's getting easier and easier to use it. There are still painful twinges, the swelling has mostly reduced but when I use it, it still hurts at times.

At least I can type now and not want to yelp. That's progress, although I'm still going to try and not do to many things.

It's now Monday afternoony. I called the Opticians to check on the progress and was hoping they would say, Yes it's on it's way to you..

Hah! Fat chance, she said, they haven't even received my lens still, ughhh.

A week my ass!! I'm not postponing the trip anymore, I leave tomorrow at 1pm.

But depending when they call and say it's arrived at their office, I might get them to post it to Mama's instead, we shall see..

The only good news is that the cab fare is cheaper than last year for some reason, still £25 but at least it's not higher.

I used to pay just under £20 for reference sake, probably the cheapest was £15 way back when..

I'm sorta packing lightly, and was looking for my sockies but I can only find one that is a full pair, where do they all escape too??

I'm constantly buying them, just saw a cute fluffy men's set and got that to be delivered to Mama's in a few days.

I've been buying men's socks from a teenager as the colours are darker and they are thicker and my feet are hurting at the moment, they like cushionyness outdoors and indoors, bareness.

I switched it up with the breakfast/lunch, couldn't find the croissants before, I had tucked them away so I got them out and paired it with the sweet and salty chicken and the onion and garlic dip.

It was sooo good. The rest of the dip will go to waste. I'm not packing any liquids, except face wash and moisturiser and maybe the mask.

The rest will be shoved into the freezer for when I return. Phew just remembered to top up my Oyster card.

I told one of the randoms TA to leave me alone and no longer message me.

He's been behaving like a tit now for a while, he will constantly just leave midway through a conversation or takes ages to respond and I don't like that, if they haven't said, Just to let you know, I'm multitasking at the moment, don't take it personally.

I didn't care to hear his response because I was at my breaking point and he wasn't a meaningful acquaintance, just somebody I sorta got on well with.

Suddenly he's full of words and responses but too lil too late. I'm not here for your games.

There was a few days break from MC/S but he texted me this morning as he's going on holiday soon and I'm away tomorrow.

To be honest, he's keeping me from getting too depressed. I'm just drained.

And its manifesting in my body, painwise and throatwise feels tender.

Anyway I hope to be a lot perkier on my return, look after yourselves :)

I make no promises at all, whether I will blog or not. You have a selection of 910 posts.

7 completed BookLife stories, 2 incompletes, 1 wattpad full story, 1 incomplete.

I know I know, too many unfinished, there's too much stress to enjoy composing.

Plus the hands are throbbing so that's a no go, for the moment.

Take care, enjoy your summer, probably back in 2 weeks or sooner...

#BlogLife725 - Faux Thursday - Another day, another injury

Typical I saw N tonight and he just acted like everything was normal so I confronted him.

Actually at the time I was on the phone to Mama wishing her well on her day and made him wait, ha.

When I did return I apologised and said I was talking to Mama but figured you ghosted me anyway.

His lame reply was No.... And that he wasn't a big phone user. Yeesh what a twit, why bother with my number then?

Oh I did add that I kinda wrote him off. Which is the harsh truth.

And then he just disappears without a Goodbye. Why he has an attitude with me, I'll never know.

Does he want me to beg and plead and chase him around? It's funny how he was previously talking about how it's hard to make connections and is sometimes ghosted..

Yet what? Can't be bothered to reply or make any effort? Twit!

Ugh the pain started yesterday but I thought it might disappear and heal yesterday.

No such luck it got increasingly worse. I'd like to go back to bed and rest but I don't feel tired and there is a lot to do.

Ugh think I missed Postie, I was on the opposite side and couldn't be bothered to run to the door.

It's my right hand, the whole thing is swollen and tender. Movements or not, are just violently painful, even typing is so bad.

Binaural beats, the natural painkiller isn't working. I made myself food and am sipping water and that will be it for the day.

As I want to scream. I might end up posting this tomorrow instead.

I'm quite surprised that nothing worked to heal the pain or make it bearable.

I tried a hot/cold gel pack, the heated blankie, rest, ignoring the pain..

For some reason binaural beats videos, well everything really started making it worse.

It's weird but I feel like I was fighting the recuperation..

Granted that was wishful thinking but on this third day, it's still swollen.

The pain is still present, although not as bad.Typing actually kills me but I'm persevering as yesterday was a write off, I couldn't do a damn thing.

I checked the post and nothing, grr. I've ordered breakfast, well lunch, as I am doing the bare minimal today again.

And it sucks that I sorta have to learn to be ambidextrous as the right hand is so delicate.

But that in turn means the left hand is increasing the pressure and maybe swell up too.

Ugh I'm fed up, it's been such a horrid month. What if my lenses don't arrive by Tuesday?

How much further can I delay the trip to Mama's without hurting her feelings?

I didn't order dessert today but with the Iceland grocery shop arriving later, I couldn't get the morning slot or cupcakes.

I decided to do something decadent, I got Dunkin Doughnuts, chocolate hazelnut.

Typically I prefer plain or with jam and cream but I always try to treat myself around this time.

Comfort food will come in handy, assuming they deliver it. Oh I don't want to deal with heavy bags but I have no choice, I am out of food.

I am finding it impossible to be optimistic, sorry about that but it's just a rough time at the moment, with no signs of it getting any better.

Enjoy your weekend, make the most of being young (at heart), or pain free, have adventures, feel good about yourself.

Push yourself out of your comfort zone every now and then, it's typically worth it.

I'm going to get on with the rest of my day and hope I don't get further hurt.

I might take this opportunity to not write while I'm away. I need my brain to be silent.

To find some peace and joy again, away from obligations and stress and ongoing pains.

#BlogLife724 - Left the boiler on all night, oops

I heard the boiler clicking and chirping but I didn't think much of it and I hoped it wasn't faulty again.

This morning I went to put it on, but it was high already but I felt the radiators and they were cold.

I left it on for a bit just to keep it ticking over. I think it switched itself off at some point.

I didn't feel boiling, just warm, last night but that's been typical of late. I put that down to the humidity. I've definitely turned it back off now.

I finished binging Land Girls, it ended on a cliffhanger, maybe they assumed they would be renewed?

I blocked N, our last chat ended weirdly. He didn't say Hi for ages and then when he did, claimed to have connection issues.

When that happened to me, I texted him and said, I'm not ignoring you, I wouldn't be that rude and he said he appreciated that.

Yet he stayed online but didn't talk or text, which was thoughtless and now over a week later, nothing.

I don't chase, so that's done. Maybe he just didn't want to communicate anymore but he could have just told me, I wouldn't have cared, he was a fly by night random.

Then there was yet another J, he said we had spoken a while ago and he was reacquainting but I had probably blocked him.

He was weirdly enough my age and that's highly unusual. He seemed okay, claimed to be patient and then stopped talking, the moment I said, No I wouldn't send him a photo or to let me take some time to consider it.

They are all the same really, appear nice but as soon as they don't get their way, they write you off.

If that was me, I wouldn't push for something that makes one uncomfortable, I would just eventually migrate to a call and get to know them slowly that way.

To play Devil's advocate I can see most men view not picture swapping as a dealbreaker.

But again I wish they would be upfront and say, Well that's essential for me so I'll bid you farewell.

I would like for a guy to get to know me and not give me ultimatums.

Get to know my personality and not focus on my appearance. I chatted to one last night, that said Don't you care what I look like?

And I replied No, I preferring thinking of males as faceless blobs.

It would take me a lot to meet someone, a lot, a lot, a lot. So for now, I don't care.

MC doesn't demand I reply straight away, he always ends it with text me tomorrow....

I never do though lol. Well maybe once, I see it as, if you wanna talk to me, then text me yourself, don't wait for me to chase you.

Like I'm sitting around all day thinking of you.....Pffft purleasee. I got other priorities, the stories won't write themselves.

The blogs I compose sometimes days in advance. I'm always writing something daily.

Oooh the special Postie brought the 2 Vatika conditioners. Argan soybean and the Sweet Almond, just in time as my hair is quite greasy.

Oh I should do the oil treatment too.

#BlogLife723 - Last of the celebratory gifts

I got Mama's Just Eat giftcard and she received the essential oils, so the last thing I can think of as we are both foodies with a sweet tooth, is some dessert.

I got her gourmet fudge, she favours the Bon Bons brand it seems.

Last time was the fun KitKat variety pack. I thought I would do a Confection Cabin selection bunch for us to sample.

Peanut brittle, coconut ice, fudge ice, salted caramel peanut brittle and chocolate coconut ice.

We both love nuts and I love the coconut ice, when I haven't had it in a long time. They are in small bar form.

I've never seen the chocolate version so that should be fun or the fudge one, whatever we don't like, she can always gift to friends.

I don't want to mention the prices, ridiculously pricey but it's a treat so I can accept it.

Those should arrive this week. No sign of my contact lens, I am fed up of squinting to read.

Last night MC was texting as we swapped numbers, I've known him for months and months.

We are more like flirty acquaintances than anything else.

And I couldn't even read what he was writing, ugh the headaches and eye strain is so frustrating.

The last treat I'll get for myself if possible is some high quality cupcakes, if Mama has a lil bakery type shop online, I can have it delivered.

I just remembered that I wanted to get some spare contact lens cases.

I don't know how often you are supposed to change them. Oops according to Googly woogly, it's every three months.

But that's ridiculous to me. I think a couple times a year only. I just saw a 5 pack for £2.80 and got that.

Normally I would pay £2 and get one but I figured there must be a multipack somewhere.

I need to do some laundry later, I wonder if any of my parcels are going to arrive today?

I'm gonna eat soon. I recently discovered an old show called Land Girls.

It's really good but quite short. It's set during the war and women and girls have gotten jobs on farms to support their families and themselves.

To me it's simple but it's well written, so there are surprises and drama is unfolding gently and it's compelling.

But as with most shows, characters keep disappearing so it's a lil frustrating to see new cast members, when you want to see the old ones.

Although the acting is brilliant so you continue watching to see, what will happen.

#BlogLife722 - 2nd Male beauty wash item

I realised I was running low on a few things so did a bit of a beauty top up shop.

Another men's product as I just saw the same old brands and wanted a new and exciting item to try.

Hawkins and Brimble elemi and ginseng face wash 150ml I think, can't see clearly, for £4.50.

To be honest I wanted something that I could easily put on my face brush and this is a clear, yellowy tinged liquid, that foamed easily.

Unfortunately there isn't much of a scent there, a slight sweetness but really faint, I prefer a stronger presence.

Afterwards my face is stripped but soft and smooth. You would need a good moisturiser after to stop your skin drying out.

I use one prior as I hate any layers on my face, suffocating it. I don't mind the deep cleansing feeling, as I have combination skin and am prone to slight breakouts.

Oops I didn't notice that, it contains aloe vera, I think I avoid that ingredient, it does nothing for my face but I will try and have an open mind.

Think it's designed for oily sensitive skin, we shall see later on, if I still like it.

A strange thing is happening the fragrance keeps changing, I don't think I shook it up.

It goes from sweet, to minty, to smelling like aftershave, weird ha but I like them all.

Next up I'm waiting for the Salcura face wash, next week I imagine.

Lastly I'm out, or almost finished the Vatika conditioner, so I bought two new ones to sample.

Argan Soybean, which I don't recall seeing prior, it is supposed to soothe the scalp and add shine, hopefully it has a nice scent.

The other one was Sweet Almond which I can't recall buying and it's supposed to add moisture, prevent hair fall and breakage, plus strengthen the hair, which all sounds beneficial.

At least that one should smell lovely. It's a pity the bottles are so small only 200ml but yet cost over a fiver, ouchy!

I got to admit, I am a big fan of this brand as it does wonders for my hair.

And I do remember, at one point, I couldn't find anything that was providing any boosts to my locks and it was frustrating having lacklustre hair.

#BlogLife721 - Weight loss the spicy way

I can't believe Nectar and Ebay are parting ways, that's the impression the email comes across, vague but final.

That was the only real source of collecting points for me, while online shopping. It's a shame, the discounts came in handy.

I got curious about black pepper in particular and was wondering if it was good for me.

I decided to Googly it and it turns out it's boosts your digestion that will in turn assist with weight loss.

I never realised that. It was an interesting fact so now I'm going to buy a lil spice bottle of it and sprinkle it on my food, every now and then.

The appetite is fluctuating especially with the hormones. I just got back from my Optician appointment.

The buses are severely delayed, took me ages to get there and back.

Anyway the good news is, I'm getting a full spare set woop woop, left and right lens.

I'm thrilled and he said it might only take a week and I asked him to post it, so that's sorted.

Then I went to get some pistachio dessert ladoos and they were in stock, but the pakoras were out.

So I said Aww you're done as it was about 12pmish and he didn't say anything.

So I bought the ladoos and I blinked and he came out with the afternoon batch and I was so perked up by that.

I made him fill 2 bags up, ha, the bags shrink, but freshly made, they are even more delicious.

And altogether it was just £11 ha. They are so moreish that even without a dip, I just can't stop eating them.

This is the time, I hate being softly spoken and not being able to stretch my eyes that wide.

Having one front tooth missing and looking yuckity, means I'm covering my mouth while talking.

She couldn't hear what I was saying, even though it seemed pretty loud to me.

Finally she just said write it on your phone and show me. Then as she was performing the eye pictures, for health reasons.

She kept raising her voice, saying Open your eyes.....

I swear I wanted to punch her in the face! My eyes don't expand that much, they never have, they are tiny, beady eyes.

I was already tired and dizzy from the humidity, actually I was meant to get a drink but I just had no energy.

The hormones maybe making me a lil bit cranky too, even though it seems to be a 1 day monthly so far.

At least this is the last of the obligations for this week and next and I can rest up.

My back seems fine after the triple massage yesterday. I should put the blankie over me.

So in two weeks maybe, assuming the lens have arrived by then, I can swan off to Mama's for some late celebrations.

Oh yesterday I also bought Salcura face wash but again with the other one, they have listed two different sizes so it's confusing me.

#BlogLife720 - I can't read at the moment

I am still struggling with using one contact lens. I don't know if the left one has a stronger prescription as my dominant eye, the right is much weaker.

If I kept the right lens in the right eye, I wouldn't be able to see, nearly as well.

I find that everything is still blurry and reading is quite taxing as it's not clear at all.

I decided to do a deep clean and popped a protein tablet into my lens case and now my lens feels more comfy, but the reading hasn't improved with fine print.

So it's definitely the lens which is a spare and probably really old.

I will just tell my optometrist on Thursday when I see him.

I have a strange update for you. This is why I like to try something immediately and give feedback and see if it changes later on.

Regarding the Yes To Tomatoes moisturiser, which I initially wasn't keen on.

It left my face grainy and over oily and just horrible in appearance..

Well I think it was my third use, that it miraculously changed. I have no explanation as I didn't do anything different.

But maybe it wasn't shaken or there was something at the top? I have no idea.

 But now as the old one is done, the Neutrogena, I am using it more frequently and it's behaving normally.

It's light, smells great and it's not so greasy. It feels smooth and I could go out like this.

My face no longer looks like I bathed it in oil. Weird huh? Now I would recommend it completely.

Probably for me though, I can't wait until I wash it off. I don't like that feeling of almost oiliness.

I like my face free and cleansed.

As for my back and legs, I'm treating the pain with my heated blankie, binaural beats videos and I'm just charging my shiatsu heated massager because I need something to work.

I think each day is getting a lil better but as I'll be heading out twice next week, I need to fix it now.

The more exertion I do, the worse it becomes. Having that shower/bath and pampering, just left it really delicate.

It felt glorious the hot water but probably wasn't a good idea, to do the oil treatment.

I had a feeling going out would exacerbate my back and it has, it's not so much walking around that sets the pain off.

It seems to be changing positions that brings back that painful surge.

I'm not looking forward to going out tomorrow to see the Optician but when he finally orders the replacement, it will be a relief.

I dug out the massager as the discomfort wasn't subsiding and I didn't want to carry on finishing this post or do much of anything really.

I decided to go ahead and get another face wash. The reason being, the Yes To Grapefruit is more of a mask, than a cleanser.

It feels like a waste to instantly rinse it off when it's supposed to be left on for about 20 minutes or however long it was.

In the mornings and evenings I just want to quickly clean my face, I leave the prolonged deep cleansing for the weekends.

I just bought another simple one for that purpose. Ha it's actually another men's product but I don't care.

Hawkins and Brimble elemi and ginseng 150ml for £4.50. I wanted to try a different brand and didn't see anything else that appealed so I'm hoping I will like the fragrance and consistency.

#BlogLife719 - Olive you

It's Sunday afternoony and I feel glorious. No real nausea, cramps. I feel sleepy but that's normal.

I found a boost of energy as I cut my hair, shorter again, trimmed the edges and snipped off some longer bits that were overgrown.

Now I feel more put together so I went ahead and did the olive hair oil, smells lush, this time I just put more than usual.

I'm not going to do the leave in conditioner and see if it is any less greasy.

And I did my manicure, I still have the face brush, cleanser and mask to do tonight but that can wait.

Well my hair is once again super soft, there is less of a strong scent with this one, it didn't seem to linger like the castor.

It also felt more oily. Out of the two, the castor has the better fragrance.

My hair feels clean and hydrated but flat as a pancake, with zero volume.

It never feels dirty but that's how it turns out as though it is still saturated with oil.

I do like that both sides are flicked out and it's styled but looks depressingly squished.

It feels like it has a lift but it really doesn't so it definitely needs two shampoos to probably get rid of it.

I still used shampoo and conditioner and it didn't help. Having said that though I still recommend it.

The oils will last for ages. I might give one to Mama. Maybe someone with thicker hair will have a different experience.

My hair is super fine and my scalp is somewhat visible but I would say the way I take care of it, it's in good condition.

Plus I think it looks a lil bit fuller than it actually is. Not thick but not as fine as before.

It definitely aids it with monthly-ish trims.

Ended up doing a quickie Ocado Zoom shop anyway, I didn't realise the engineer, soaked the whole last roll of kitchen towel grr. Twit.

I just bought some nibbles and the Corsodyl mouthwash was on sale, so I bought 2.

I still don't feel like eating but there are appealing munchies in case I fancy it.

Ooh I bought this Domestos arctic fresh foam cleaner. It's not bleach but it's a strong product, with the loveliest lemon fragrance attached to it.

It was £2.50 ouchy for a 450ml bottle, not the most reasonable but I would get it again.

I used it for the floors and the whole bathroom, I love scented products, just makes the home even fresher.

Back to the present day, Tuesday morning, I just got back and really couldn't be bothered to browse much.

The weather is a lil overcast and drizzly, I layered up to be safe.

I didn't sleep much last night and discovered I started my period, ugh, hence the bloating, the queasiness, the cramps.

Yeesh I was hoping to skip this month as it's already been so stressful but maybe it will only last a short while?!

I'm just waiting for breakfast to arrive, eggy chicken rasher buttery muffin and a few sandwiches for later.

I'm not famished but maybe munching will help my tum feel normal again?

At least drinking the fizzy vimto will help and possibly a nap later.

I just wanted to take out the money for the cab fare when I visit Mama, probably at the end of the month now.

Oh my back reverted to being a lil sore again I felt twisted like a pretzel when I was walking about.

I'm sure yesterday I felt mostly fine. Oh and I hope it's not the case but the blankie has started showing an error message.

I wonder if it's dying.. I'll have to shop around for a new one, that is a better quality and bigger size.

#BlogLife718 - As a woman, why can't I be seen as weak or strong?

I don't feel like I got much sleep over the weekend, but there were giant blocks of it.

I decided to go ahead and block J as I cannot be bothered to waste anymore thoughts or energy on him.

First he waits a week to get back in touch and now it's 4 days. I think he's one of those, flippity floppers.

Only contacts when he's bored or maybe his women/friends are all occupied...

Again he could have just said, I'm not ignoring you but things are hectic at the moment, will be in touch in a week or so..

I would have appreciated that as he seemed to like that I challenged him and had strong opinions but maybe he didn't??

There are definitely two sides to me. There is a part that doesn't get showcased, which is the gentler side.

The one that has slightly less walls up and doesn't want to pick fights but be a lil more open and almost agreeable.

That wants to be caring and affectionate and I guess show that lil bit of vulnerability.

But I lock her away because when she comes out, I'm treated disrespectfully like a doormat, it's never appreciated and shown gratitude.

The other side of me is ruthless. I will test the waters and won't take responses at face value.

I will question why you said that, why you think that way, what is the heart of the matter?

I will demand answers! I always remember my friends friend that she was crushing on saying to me in a teasing way..

You really like to challenge guys don't you and I smiled and said Yes, Yes I do ha.

And the purpose is, for them to show me their brilliance. To show that they can keep up with me and match my wits.

I don't want someone mindless and I want my character to be admired not shut down and silenced.

There are a few times when I've been accused of being male online, (ickkkkk, yuckity yuck)..

Purely based on the fact that I foist my solid convictions on others, that I am somewhat weirdly enough, confrontational..

That I am highly competitive and may trash talk, not to be cruel, just a lil acidic but a lot playful.

And it angers me that I can't be all of the above. I'm just supposed to nod and agree and not enquire further..

I always leave my disgusted response first before blocking them.

Pointing out that, I'm clearly not male as I don't use textspeak, I use punctuation, I am smart and funny and I'll just add charming to that.

Plus I don't just blurt things out, I think about what I am saying first.

Normally I'll just walk away but this time I left a parting shot. I told him, he was a waste of my time because he can't keep up with me.

It felt satisfying to say that because I don't want to be pigeon-holed into someone's ideal of what a woman should be...

I am who I am and proud of that fact. Just because you perceive women as weak and knowing their place..

Or that they shouldn't stand up for themselves, or know what they want or challenge you for a deeper understanding, not just what you casually say without any thought behind it..

It doesn't matter one iota, as we women are all unique and special and wonderful, no matter what type of personalities we possess.

Sometimes I'm tough, other times soft but always feminine. Embrace me, don't judge or think yourself better.

Or think you know all of me, see all of me, I have and probably will never be free to let my complete self be truly seen.

#BlogLife717 - Evening dance party workout/Not getting summer ready

Song of the day - Calypso Rose/Machel Montano/Manu - Leave Me Alone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ0otZhMXTk&list=PL_S79tzxwHpPMvQb_ft0dgOQA7kcRZsUA&index=83

I know it's been a while since I did song of the day, I just couldn't be bothered, half of me hasn't even wanted to blog, I've felt so sick but after it's written I feel satisfied.

As it's the weekend, I've just done the face brush, cleanser and have the mask on.

The party music was playing and I thought what about evening and well as morning dance party workouts?

I'm also trying to drink plain water in the evenings. I hope it will help with the bloating and overall unwellness.

I got to give myself a manicure, my nails are shockingly uneven at the moment, I keep forgetting to fix them.

When it comes to summer and my birthday approaching, I've never, well nowadays been in a rush to frantically workout and flash my body.

I think I've gotten to the stage where I can wear fitted, shaped clothes, rather than reveal my legs or cleavage and flaunt it all.

I did all that when I was younger, confident or not, I could pull that off and look good.

These days I feel nicer being covered up. Long sleeves, long skirts or trousers, higher necklines.

But there can still be striking colours or designs. I think even if I ever reach my desired weight/size (whatever that is), I still wouldn't revert back to baring my skin.

I would like to dress appropriately for my age. A middle aged woman, that still looks way younger than I am.

I think I could get away with being in my 30s, my face is youthful and my spirit and humour can attest to that.

But even though I'm not trying to be skin and bone. We can all benefit from taking care of our bodies.

I don't know if I'll do the second hair oil treatment this weekend.

My scalp isn't dry but I might cut my hair and tidy it up. I feel unkempt.

I mean't to epilate a while ago but just got around to it, I did my legs and arms.

I hadn't really been bothered about my arms but I thought why not?!

I moisturise straight afterwards because the itch is unbearable. I just put some nivea lotion on and I still had to scratch like crazy.

Soo satisfying ha! I'm still not showing them off but it will help cool me down as the heatwave hasn't ended, like it promised, grr.

That was the second night in a row, that I had trouble getting my lens out. I doused my eyes in drops but it took ages to get out.

It makes it worse that I can't see or feel the lens to put it back in place and I use the camera phone usually but I just couldn't see properly so that didn't help either.

I managed a couple hours of sleep, maybe a bit more but I couldn't sleep past 9am, even though I desperately wanted too.

The pain is getting increasingly worse, it's spread everywhere now, even typing is excruciating.

I confess yesterday I didn't eat much, just some savoury cheddar biscuits and some sweet chilli chicken and I just drunk water.

I'm not bloated anymore, Oh it's glorious to have a, well not flat, but less of a tum tum.

I was really worried about the boiler, yesterday the second engineer came, same day service and in the evening..

He located the leak and fixed it but stayed to make sure everything was normal with both the heating and hot water, unlike the previous one.

This morning, nothing appeared to be working and I thought, this is too much.

Then I turned it on higher and waited and felt the radiator and it felt hot finally.

I got to test the hot water but it takes ages to come on. I'm just relieved all seems well.

Almost forgot, just changed the phone's wallpaper to a celebration theme as me and Mama's birthday is upcoming.

I feel bad I had to delay the visit to her, she seems so enthusiastic about my trip but I just feel tender and a complete mess, with all that's occurring.

I did the last of the cleaning, the bathroom is all sorted and I'm glad because I'm in a bad way and should rest for a few days with no exertion at all.

No dance party workouts for me! I'm not sure if I will do a grocery shop this weekend.

Probably not, I still have stuff indoors and not that much of an appetite.

J is still ghosting me, it's only been two days, but the fact that he was supposed to call yesterday and didn't and hasn't texted back seems telling.

I can't see him getting in touch, unless something has happened. I'm trying not to jump to conclusions but hmm..

He seems to have been replaced by N, who I spoke to yesterday and was straightforward and polite and intelligent.

He hasn't played any games. He's funny too.

#BlogLife716 - New boiler not warming up to me

When did I get the new boiler installed? This year or last? No idea but it was January, anyway since then I haven't any problems, we have been co-existing famously.

Ahh I had to look it up, it was October 2022. It didn't seem that far back. Nearly 2 years ago. Hmm.

Until yesterday when it seem to stop-start and everything appeared normal on the monitor but on the boiler itself 000.

Apparently it's supposed to be 1.00 or 1.05 something like that, and I'm supposed to press something underneath twice and fiddle with pipes?

Umm no lol. I can barely see and read at the moment, everything is slightly blurry and then after all that, he said, Just call us back if it happens again hahaha!

Too right I bloody will, I'm not trained as an engineer, that's your job matey.

But jokes aside, that may have been the fastest response time ever!

I reported it wasn't working at maybe 11am or 10ish and then by 4.30pm he had fixed it and left.

They always worry me though and make out it's a huge dramatic issue.

He said it's losing pressure too fast and there maybe a leak but then he said, Looks good lol.

Goodness me, scared me, I thought it was going to be another long procedure, with them coming and going.

What concerned me was that for a combi boiler, he only seemed to be focused on the water bit, not the heat bit.

When he left, sure there was hot water, but no heat, so I fiddled with the screen until the flame was present and now I can feel it working.

I will do my usual tricks and leave it on for an hour and then switch it off and do the same tomorrow, just to keep it happy.

Good gracious it is moody when you neglect it!!

I've lost my appetite a bit. I am enjoying the veggy pakoras and the dessert but nothing else really.

Stress is getting to me. I think I'll be happier when I get my spare lens, Oh I hope he gives me a full spare set.

Just ordered Mama's birthday giftset of essential oils, peppermint, lime and orange, lavender (yuck), ha and I got her a bonus lemon as we both adore citrus :)

Then I'll get her a Just Eat giftcard and maybe some other goodies.

Oh that's funny there was discounts and other credit available so I saved £6 ha! Fabulousness :)

Mama also offered to refer me to her dentist. I'll see what happens, the rate things are going, we won't meet until both our birthdays have passed.

I just really want my other lens so I can seeeee. Hmm, ha, J's been suspiciously quiet today, he did reply this morning but I've been winding him up a lot of late.

He thinks we shall talk tomorrow and I said tonight, who is going to be holding all the cards?

Who is going to win victoriously and do a winner dance? It's Thursday afternoony now J hasn't replied but that's not my concern.

This morning I heard the radiator making noises but I was too tired to get up.

I switched it on today and assumed it was fine but I didn't check it and I felt cold, once again the monitor display is normal but the boiler has the three or four zeros again, signifying an issue.

Oh crumbs it's brand new, this shouldn't happen. I'm going to call them back tomorrow, I can't deal with them today.

Too many headaches. I just want a simple solution and what's putting me off, is that there is a radiator in my bedroom and he will need access to all of them.

I just tidied up a bit and then thought I might as well see if they are still open.

I called expecting them to be closed but they were available and once again classed it as an emergency 24hr ongoing repair job.

From now until 8 or 9pm or definitely tomorrow from 8am. She said they would call prior but texting is fine.

I'm not heading out and to be honest, my stomach is feeling queasy from the stress.

Hmm I probably shouldn't have mopped the floors but it was a good distraction with the music blaring.

I should take the bins out too but I am wiped out. I wonder if they will make it today?

As it's 4.30pm and the day is almost over for most. I almost feel guilty for being a priority customer, but then again not really.

I am long term ill. Just feels a bit wrong to jump the queue, instead of waiting my turn.

I want to curl up and nap but not tired enough, it's just the weight of problems that is exhausting me.

This should be a carefree month but I can't shower, can't wash my hair, can't do laundry, can't dry my clothes..

I feel so yucky. Hopefully he will arrive tomorrow when the floors are dry.

#BlogLife715 - New face brush?

Oof I've had the old face brush for 8 years now and it seems to die quickly so I'm wondering if I should invest in a newer one that's a lil more powerful.

I'm still not going to pay that much and I typically just stick to using the bristles head attachment.

I don't think I would pay more than £15, this current one was just over a tenner but I had a gift card and they seem to last ages.

I saw one for £6 with a ton off extras, like a pumice, massage, spongey heads but the review put me off when it said, the power was on the weaker side.

My face does feel a lot better from using it and afterwards I massaged in the moisturiser and felt even smoother.

When I first considered it, it seemed so frivolous. A face brush? Isn't that for fancy people?

I'm careful with money. Do I really need this? Isn't it a bit self indulgent?

It's not often I get the bad acne breakouts all over my face, I get some but usually they fade away by themselves.

As I said I don't like face beaded scrubs as it's too harsh but the brush gives me that exfoliation without disrupting my skin.

I do see the benefits of using it, really removes makeup, makes your skin glow.

It's relaxing to give yourself a face massage. If you're a busy person, you don't have to spend more than 5 minutes using it and you'll still look better.

I spend maybe 1 or 2 minutes, going around my face a few times and that's it.

I'm not in a hurry so I will take my time and look for something suitable that fits my needs.

Ooh got my stationary pens, I'm so glad they are darker than they looked, it will make writing cherrier.

I like the Jamaican patties sometimes, I loved the lamb version, that one stood out to me.

I wanted to like the chicken but didn't but I'm eating less beef, craving it less so I thought I would once again try the chicken and there was a vegetarian option too.

It's just pastry and filling, you can eat it hot or cold, I like room temperature.so it's less soggy.

I really wish the cramps would disappear. Nope tried them both and don't like them.

It's as though they mistook pepper for seasoning.

Ugh yesterday the bad luck came in triplicate. My wobbly front tooth fell out and now I just feel hideous on the outside too.

I lost my left contact lens but made the appointment for next week being the earliest they could see me.

Which means they will order the lens and I won't get it for a few weeks :(

Then the boiler breaking so I can't wash my hair but luckily I have the heated blankie and it's summer, not winter for once.

I called up and he asked if I was vulnerable? Umm I suppose I don't see myself that way so I just replied that I was long-term ill and he said alright, in 24hrs you'll be texted with the engineer appointment.

Everytime someone asks if I'm a priority customer, I keep waiting to be grilled lol.

Like, Oh Yea, really, prove it, come on, provide details, huh huh ha. I don't know why, that's the way my brain is.

So that will be sorted before the weekend I guess. I tried switching it off and on but that didn't help.

I found the Optician receptionist a bit rude. She said I wasn't due until November but I haven't been there in years.

It's like she didn't want to make the date so I had to elaborate that I had lost my left lens and can't see properly and that I don't have spares..

Then she reluctantly consented. Yeesh you're not a Doctor's assistant!!

Last night was quite funny, after me and J were texting all day, he called and we chatted for a few hours until 1am or 2am.

He was different to what I envisioned from the brief first chat we had.

I didn't realise he was American. I knew that he was younger, they all seem to be, but he didn't volunteer that information.

Oh lastly, the brow lady beautician wasn't there, the ugly caterpillar brows continue to cover my face :(